i am so alone, i dont know what to do, please help?

Question

I have never been this alone in my entire life. Its like nobody wants a friend these days. Ive lost my past friends due to different things like, them moving away, failing at university and leaving the country and me changing school. Now i am at university, my last year, last term, i dont even have 1 person i can hang out with let alone call a friend. I feel like i dont belong anywhere. All i do is workout and watch movies for entertainment. I tried looking to join clubs, but i dont like anything that is widely available. Im 21 years old, going to be 22 in april. I dont have a gf. How does one start all over again? from scratch? i cant take it anymore. Its not that im a difficult to get along guy. I only get this in England mostly. They seem very anti social in terms of making new friends, at least it seems, or maybe thats my depression thats distorting my thoughts. Please anyone with wise words, please help :(

Answer 1

have you thought of a church. people will welcome you. church is not just for sermons its also for fellowship. i cant tell someone to go against medical advice but i wouldnt try to treat depression with a pill, ive been through it and i never felt like myself on medication. i think you can get through this. you are almost through school so hold in there

Answer 2

Oh please don't be so sad! I want to give you a big hug! I have been where you are, some years back. All I did was lay in my bed and watch Friends on TV. I would not answer my phone at all, I didn't ever go out, and I cried all the time. It was just a time in my life I had to get through, but whether you think it's ridiculous or not, I SWEAR that the show FRIENDS helped me. I watched it over and over until I was ready to face the world again. What my suggestion would be, find a little something that you can do that you feel some sort of accomplishment after. Like go to the bookstore and read, or volunteer at a humane society or retirement home, or get a part time job somewhere. Maybe even try church. I don't go myself, but people I have talked to say it helps for some reason. Just be patient, and talk to anybody you can whenever you can, and trust me, it will pass. I went through it for almost 3 years, and it was way to long and lonely. Find something that makes you laugh or even smile, or something that you feel some self-worth and you will slowly climb out of your slump. Hang in there - It will get better.

Answer 3

I have often felt the same way you do now. So very alone and as if I will never be able to make new friends. I used to think it was me, but I have realised over the years I have qualities people are not looking for such as loyalty,compassion and a good shoulder to cry on. People say that they want these things, but truly they dont. The want a fast life with people who can bring them to 'natural highs', a dizzying sense of euphoria and the opportunity to 'truly belong' in a social group by backbiting each other to each other. Nothing is wrong with you other than the fact that you have truly genuine qualities, that someone out there will truly benefit, but you may have been looking in all the wrong places. The people who truly need friendship can also be the weak and helpless who hide themselves in fear of being rejected, because they know that people think that the cost of their friendship is too high to make. They will give unconditional support, but they also need your support and the difference with them and false friends is that they may ask for it, instead of manipulating you into giving it. In a world or 6 billion people, you are bound to find someone. But dont judge them on race, gender, size, looks and all of the pointless things we are supposed to value in so called friends.

'Fat' people, 'ugly' people, whatever people are still people and they may bring joy to your life in new found ways, so dont look at the world with rose tinted glasses, instead take them off and walk forward and be willing to truly 'meet' people, and you may be surprised at what you may find.

England is a very anti social place where expectations are meant to be fulfilled before superficial friendships are offered. People here have tiny hearts, in which they carry petty desires. You should be open minded and even if the old lady in the supermarket says hello, dont turn her away or you never know who she might know and who she can bring into your life... I wish you all the best of luck and hopefully, you will find someone special.

Answer 4

It's really hard to be alone, but one of the greatest lessons in life is learning how to be alone and feeling ok with it. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of it, try to focus on the positive. Spend time reflecting about yourself and your plans for the future. Go to places where you can do a lot of people watching----there's always a lot to learn about the way people are in the world. Learn to do things on your own and enjoy them. This will make you stronger.

You'll probably find that the more confident you are about being alone, the more appealing you are to people. No one wants to be around someone who seems needy, but everyone wants to be around someone who seems sure of him or herself.

And if you're really craving interaction, you might consider participating in some of the online activities that others have recommended. These are usually a great way to get back in the game.

Answer 5

It is very difficult to feel alone. I have been there. It seems that when you grow up, you also grow apart from those that were around you. My suggestion is to give those clubs a try even if they dont sound interesting. Its funny but there are people in those groups that also feel just like you! Next thing you know, you will have some cool new friends. I joined a group and found one of my closest friends there :)

Answer 6

I was a very lonely child grew up with no true friends then one day i met my best mate in the world although we live different ends of the country we are still in contact. We met by accident he took me for who i was asked nothing of me. The truth is i gave up trying to have friends and being something i was not get uni under your belt and maybe along the line you will meet someone you can cal a true friend even if they move away they will always be there. Just be yourself and one day they will appear.

Answer 7

You are going through a dry spell but it will pass. Do you have any skills that you could volunteer to teach young people, tutor for reading, computer, a language, art etc? When you go to workout, try to chat up with people there. Think about the sort of things you like to do and make a point of being in the places that such people frequent. eg. If you like sports, go to games. If you like plays, go to the theater. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's natural to have these blue moods when you are under stress or in new surroundings. Best wishes to you.

Answer 8

hi,............ don't be sad
i had the same problem as you do now... and i may still have a part of it some how....i lost all my friends after finishing collage,.....you shouldn't give up trying to fiend good friends,
you try casual talk with your colleagues in collage then after that you will be able to know them better and become friends also you can find friends here on-line but you need to be careful about it, most people lie now about who they really are
just give it time and you will make a lot of friends, I'm sure that you are nice guy and also you seem quiet and keep it to my self type.....I'm saying that it's a bad thing actually it's cool.... if you have old friends who you still can be in touch with call them or e-mail them.....they don't have to be your next door neighbors to be your friends... there are good friends live miles away from each others and still good friends
you can start over just keep trying ..I'm older than you by the way so if you need to talk to a friend I'll be glad to .............Good Luck

Answer 9

I'm truly sorry about everything that's going on. Let me just say that the only thing you can do is be yourself. You just have to keep searching. I'll tell you what, why don't I be your newest friend. I'll make you part of my contacts list on answers. I can help boost your self confidence so you can make more friends. I say you can't have too many friends. I hope that I don't freak you out with this message. I'm just a religious, kind hearted person who just likes helping people. Talk to you later man and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 10

Try picking up a hobby where you can meet people, perhaps there are some clubs at your college. If all else fails, you can find community on the internet. Just try to keep a positive outlook even though things haven't been going great.

Answer 11

i went out looking for friends and found that there were none to be found. i went out to be a friend and they were everywhere around.

moral is you have to show people that you can be a great person coz i feel you show your insecurity a lot. you show you're depressed and at times you can look scary instead of sad. no one would go near a scary person. lighten up dude! slow down on the gf. she isn't an asset or a requirement. that is something which could be a lifetime so take care of it.