My husband has a suspended license and a warrant for not paying. He doesn't have a car. I took some of my school money and bought me a car. He works midnights. I don't work at all. Before this happened he was driving the car freely. We got into a big argument about him driving the car to work. I say if he gets pulled over for any reason they will ask for his license and see that it is suspended and that he has a warrant and take him to jail. My car will more than likely end up in impound.He says they won't have any reason to pull him over and that I'm being selfish. He says when he had a car he didn't treat me like this. He says he'll just catch the bus from now on. But I've never had a suspended license let alone a warrant out for my arrest. And if he goes to jail me and our daughter will be on the street because I can't afford our place without him. He's my husband though so should I let him drive and not worry or should I make him catch the bus? Why or why not?
Thanks in advance.
2007-03-25 16:21:59 · 13 answers · asked by closure 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's a great man, always always trying to please me. so out of character for him to put me in this position. I know he's in a financial bind that's why money hasn't been paid. I don't work because I go to school fulltime and take care of my 1yr old daughter. It would take him forever to pay that money. I was going to give him some of my school money to pay it off. also I don't take him to work because i don't want to be out after midnight with our daughter. Don't want to argue with my husband over this.
2007-03-25 16:48:51 · update #1
You have to think about his and your family's well-being first. He probably doesn't realize right now that it's for his own good but he will soon, hopefully. Perhaps you should speak to his brother/sister/friend (anyone who really cares about him) about this situation and I'm sure they will side with you. Then perhaps he'll listen more when its two against one.
2007-03-25 16:31:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you drop him off or arrange somebody from work or another family member to take and/or pick him up from work? Can he work closer to home where he could walk? Set your boundaries, girl, or you may end up with a very short stick. And no home to lay it in. Or better yet, can he sit out his warrant in jail? If he does get pulled over and put in jail he may not be allowed to be bailed out of jail and sit his time out until his court date, in which he will have to pay for a court appointed attorney, court costs, and the fine that if he just took care of now would be cheaper for all in the long run. And, he may even get put on probation. More costs each month and lots of conditions to deal with. And, his insurance one day (an SR-22) will be triple the cost. Now it would probably be double. Been there to some point, done some of that to some point. Being a female probably kept me from being pulled over, but for a man? Let him sacrifice since it is his problem and he put himself there. Good luck!
2007-03-25 23:34:53 · answer #2 · answered by bjh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants you to feel guilty and willingly give him the keys. Fact: he will go to jail and car will be impounded. Then how will you pay to get car out of impound, remember each day your car is in impound you will be charged. I worked doing house arrest and I ran into people who never had a license and finally got caught, driving without a license. Husband need to get his warrants and priorities straight. And you need to find employment and stop depending on husband. As long as your not working he will always feel in controll. You are dancing to his music and if you had to ask this question sounds like you are about ready to give into his wishes.
2007-03-25 23:33:44 · answer #3 · answered by shelliew 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Catch the bus and clear up all of the legal problems. He may not get pulled over, but what if someone runs into him. He will go to jail and then he will need bond money. You are not being selfish, just responsible and cautious. He should take lessons.
2007-03-25 23:44:55 · answer #4 · answered by Shanna h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this kind of situation it is best to try to take money from his paycheck and start paying off the fines and reinstatement fees that he is going to have to pay to get his license back. But as far as letting him drive the car to and from work I would suggest the fact that you may want him to take the bus. It is going to cost twice as much money as it would now to pay everything off. Trust me I know because I have had my license suspended and because I was not smart enough at the time to quit driving I got caught. My reinstatement fee is now double what it was and I have to carry a bond on me for 5 years. All for driving 2 blocks that I could have walked. And as far as driving him to work I don't blame you for not wanting to take your child out that late. Another suggestion would be to have him ask a co-worker for a lift to and from work and suggest giving gas money out of each pay to that person.
2007-03-26 00:08:29 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BUS! What if he gets pulled over for a broken tail light, or a seat belt violations or something?
Then you're ALL in a world of hurt! Never, EVER allow an unlicensed person to drive!
Why would he even consider putting his whole family into that kind of trouble? He's VERY selfish!
2007-03-25 23:35:49 · answer #6 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, so you are absolutely right. He needs to be responsible and be the family man he wants to be. He lost his licence for silly behaviour and now hes paying for it. You are not being selfish just cautious. What if he gets pulled over for real???? Imagine what would happen then. Not only he'll end up in jail but your marriage and your life would be a misery. seriously, do not let him drive. As simple as that.
2007-03-26 01:46:15 · answer #7 · answered by Val® 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is the one who is selfish. Why would you depend on him for your living if he is irresponsible. You can get a job. You need to get in a "place" where your thinking is independent and tells you that you can stand on your own with or without a man. You can do without a loser who doesn't give any thought to the welfare of his family. You're giving your will over to him. This is a wake up to let you know that maybe it's time to move on. Good luck.
2007-03-25 23:47:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are correct; he definitely should not drive, and the car could get impounded if he gets caught, and even if he never does anything to get stopped for, you still never know when some other idiot might run into him, and then your insurance might not be any good because he isn't on your insurance.
2007-03-25 23:40:41 · answer #9 · answered by supertop 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he has to take the bus. Breaking the law will catch up with him eventually, and like you said, you and your daughter are the ones who will pay for it.
2007-03-25 23:50:21 · answer #10 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋