my husband doesn't think I get turned on?

Question

my husband thinks he doesn't know how to tunr me on or that I ever seem to enjoy making love, but I do. What can I do? I don't know what he wants me to do? I've told him I enjoy making love, what is going on?

Answer 1

try not changing the channel of the TV with the remote when you're doing it. (kidding)

My wife took care of this problem by being the initiator here and there. By playing little sex grabbing games with me. By telling me specifically what she likes, "right there, again" things like that.

Answer 2

Well, if you've already told him lovingly that you enjoy what he's doing and that everything is fine, try telling him forcefully, that the only thing you don't enjoy about your time in that way if that fact that he's pushing you so much. Tell him that if he's wants you to start faking it, to keep it up. But if he wants to have a great time with his happy, satisfied wife, to just stop being insecure and start listening to what you're saying and to talk to you about what he wants from your sex life. Maybe there's something he thinks should be happening if it's good, but doesn't know how to ask you about it. Ask him point blank what it is that he thinks is missing and go from there.

Good luck.

Answer 3

You should think of yourself lucky. You have a loving husband who is concerned with what your wants and needs are. When he says he doesn't know how to turn you on what he really means is how can I fulfill you sexually. He wants you tell him EXACTLY what it is that you want him to do that will REALLY turn you on. The more you are turned on, the better his self esteem, the better his self esteem, the more he'll do to turn you on. This is a Win/Win situation. Did I mention this is a Win/Win situation?? If you don't know how to tell him what you want, experiment by yourself and then SHOW him what it is or how to do it. You deserve to have your desires met. Don't be afraid to tell him what you want. He loves you very much or he wouldn't be concerned that he doesn't turn you on. The more you reveal to him, the closer the bond and the better the sex. You saying that you tell him that you "enjoy" making love to him sounds to me like you are saying you are a willing participant if that's what he wants. If you don't want to verbally tell him what it is that you want, leave a note in his car. That will be all he'll be thinking about at work for the rest of the day. He'll come home early and be half naked before he even gets out of the foyer. :o)

Answer 4

Find out what he wants from you in way of response. Does he want you to moan more and tell him loudly what you like?Or maybe he is feeling slightly insecure of himself and just needs more of you telling him how good he is. Maybe a little flirting outside of the bedroom would make him know. Try whispering what you want him to do next time during the middle of the day. Try giving him little pinches on the backside when he totally doesn't expect it. In an elevator or while shopping. If he is easily embarrassed, don't do it in public. You might even ask him if you are satisfying him in bed too. He may be looking for an opening to tell you what he wants by asking you first. Good Luck.

Answer 5

That is a tough one. Have you ever sat down with him and talked about the things that both of you like? I mean you say that you are happy and satisfied, but who couldn't use a little more in the bedroom right? And sometimes its as simple as talking to each other about the things you both enjoy and then just going for it. Maybe he thinks you are not enjoying it because he isn't? I honestly don't know. I hope you get it resolved.

April

Answer 6

Actions speak louder than words! And you have plenty of great suggestions here to turn him on outside of the bedroom and then to really let him know how much you are enjoying inside the bedroom. Moving around helps too...bring your hips up to meet his fingers during foreplay. Talk a little dirty...men LOVE that! You know some four letter words...use them! There's a series of dvd's called The Better Sex Videos....very tastefully done and intended for loving couples to watch TOGETHER. Friends of mine bought them and OMG turned their sex life from non existent to every day twice a day.

Also, check out theliberator.com for some awesome pillows and other items to help with the couple experience. Open your mind and the two of you shop together.

Answer 7

Perhaps you're too mechanical... non-emotional. Some people aren't good at expressing their passion. Practice being vocal, you may feel awkward at first, but evenutally you'll get the hang of it. I'm not saying fake it, I'm just suggesting that you let yourself go. I bet you have a way hotter orgasm if you learn to let yourself go. Ask him to be specific, when he says that you don't enjoy it... ask him what specifically makes him think that, and then try to work with him on some positive, non-humiliating solutions.

Answer 8

Maybe you're involved enough in the lovemaking. Do you just lay there like a beached whale and make him do all the work? You've got to get more active. Move around more. Suggest different positions. Use your hands and feet. Make him go crazy. There's no downside. If you hate sex, this will make it over a lot quicker.

Answer 9

His insecurities. Unfortunately if you don't go on like a porn actress some men tend to think you aren't into it, when in reality your simply enjoying what he's doing to you.

Your best bet would be to ask him what kind of response he would like from you then if it's doable work it in, perhaps gradually. Sometimes its as simple as making little noises or telling him how much you like what he's doing. Hope this helps.

Answer 10

if u have cell phones.. send him dirty text and call him daddy.

maybe u need to be more aggressive. instead of doing the same thing as usual. take him for a ride in the car and go down south on him or something to that effect. i'm sure that bfore u married you had 2 have done something to naughty...if not, this is the time.

tie his *** up and blindfold him and play with him...

woman, get to work make it your mission..u don't want him to start getting curous about other women