She's married for 9 years, unhappy marriage. She got involved with this married guy and they have been together for nearly 8 years without the knowledge of her husband.She claims that they are in love. But both of them do not want to leave their married life because they don't wish to hurt their spouses. But I am worried for them. What if their spouse finds out one day?
2007-03-25 15:51:25 · 22 answers · asked by sonali 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
How sad for everyone. 8 years wasted being a lying cheater. You need some new friends, don't ya think?
2007-03-25 15:58:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't even looked at the other answers, yet, but if any of them told you that it's ok, they are dead wrong! It is never ok for a person to date a married person, even if, and especially if they are also married. It's called cheating no matter how you state it.
Cheating always involves lying to someone. Lying will lead to hurting the respective spouses when they find out because it will compound the cheating. This is a no win situation. If they want to be together, they pretty much have to tell their spouses and get divorces if that is what it takes. But here's the thing. If they will cheat on their spouses, they will most likely cheat on each other. What a mess. They need to stop this relationship until they figure out what they want to do.
If there are kids involved, which you didn't mention, just think what this could do to them. There have been shattered trust issues on both sides and with any kids there may be. They have to stop this now!
2007-03-25 16:10:05 · answer #2 · answered by cactus bloom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the spouses either know that they are having an affair or don't care. Because I could not stay with someone for 8 years and not know that they are not faithful to me. They are not doing the right thing in God sight but they will have to believe in God to care about that. It don't matter if the world think they are right or wrong. But I would think that I wouldn't want to send both of us to hell. So leave one before you get another. I would also think that if you do it to your wife what to say you are going to be faithful to me.
2007-03-25 15:59:57 · answer #3 · answered by kool aid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me? They don't want to hurt their spouses! They are committing adultery! I can see that you must love your friend very much to be blinded by her behavior! This is not acceptable. She is married and having an affair. Put yourself in her husbands shoes for mmmm, 10 minutes, imagine that you love someone so much that you marry them, commit to spending eternity together, and then, find out after 9 years, that for 8 of them she has been lying to you, sneaking around, having sex with someone other than you, and.... didn't even bother to let me know that there was a problem! Excuse me.... There is a huge problem with this. Now, as for you, as her bestfriend, you owe it to her, to tell her how wrong this is, and that, you absolutely can not be a party to any of it. She needs to come clean to her husband, and either break it off with one or the other. She is just kidding herself when she says she doesn't want to hurt her husband. What a bald faced liar! She knows what she is doing is wrong and is trying to justify her bad behavior. You are smarter than that, don't let her lie to you too! Good luck, holding someone accountable for their behavior is never fun, especially when you love them. But that is when it is the most important!
2007-03-25 15:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by cunhvn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, have you ever heard someone saying..oh yes...an affair is the perfect solution to an unhappy marriage. Second, have you everheard of someone getting shot while caught in the act of cheating, not always, but you have heard of it because it has happened.. Don't be ignorant, she is doing the WRONG thing and she will get what she deserves when she gets caught, because she will get caught, because she is not stopping, and not stopping means from now until forever the opportunity to get caught will always be there. The real question is why is this selfish person YOUR friend? You are probally HER friend...leave her to her inevatable misreable life so she doesn't drag you down the toilet with her.
2007-03-25 16:02:37 · answer #5 · answered by ushoveit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who asks: "Is she doing the right thing?" already knows the answer.
This is not your business. Obviously your friend told you this in confidence. What you need to do is find a way to make it okay between you and your friend, because obviously it is bothering you.
You can be subtle or blunt, whatever feels right for you. It might mean the end of your friendship, at least for now. Secrets have a way of coming out eventually. Who is to know if their respective spouses don't already know?
Good Luck
2007-03-25 15:59:52 · answer #6 · answered by Pixie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best friend is complicating her married life. I don't really think she is doing the right thing. I don't know how their spouse can take it if they found out. A sincere advice from a friend might help for them to realize the sanctity of marriage.
2007-03-25 16:09:07 · answer #7 · answered by henry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If either spouse found out then it will be open for them to marry one another and no she is not doing the right thing.
2007-03-25 15:55:01 · answer #8 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very bad.... She needs to resolve this before someone finds out (and they will). I've been through a lot of unhappy marriages and adultery. Nothing good comes out of it.
If she's unhappy she needs to get out. Keep hiding the fact does nothing for her self. You only live once. Don't waist it being unhappy.
2007-03-25 15:58:30 · answer #9 · answered by James M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the man she is seeing isn't going to leave his wife after all this time if kids are involved and if there are none involved then be for real he's not going to leave her. She needs to leave him alone and try to fix what's wrong in her marriage. If they can't then get a divorce. But before she does that she needs to pray for forgiveness and ask god to help you with your situation and then don't do it again ever it's a sin.
2007-03-25 17:34:26 · answer #10 · answered by evepace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋