Want to get pregnant even if boyfriend doesn't?

Question

I am 28 and in a longterm relationship of over four years, three living together with my boyfriend. I really want a child before I turn 30, but he doesn't, I am starting to wonder if I should try to become pregnant without him knowing, but since I use the patch it's difficult, any advice?

Answer 1

You should be prepared to raise the child yourself if he is not ready...regardless of how you do it, you should be prepared for that possibility.

I've heard that St. John's Wort and Vitamin C will make birth control considerably less effective. I just found that out and am stopping taking them for that very reason...,maybe you could start taking them for that.

Answer 2

Definitely a bad idea. You need to communicate with him and figure out why he's not ready and all that and then maybe you guys can fix some stuff and compromise about some things so he'll be ready sooner. But don't get pregnant without him knowing. If he's not ready he'd freak out and probably leave and since you're not married that's a free ticket to go. That would not be a very smart decision. Communicate communicate. that's the key to everything. After that you might be surprised. He could be ready sooner then you think if he knows exactly how you feel.

Answer 3

Sit down and ask yourself is he mature,hold down a decent job,show you affection?Some ppl really are scared of being parents,immature,wanna get their life together before bringing a life into the world,or just plain selfish.Have another face to face with him,let him know your not trying to pressure him but an explanation would help you understand better.Not to be all in your bussiness but has he ever brought up marriage?4 years is enough time to decide about kids and wedding bells especially since you live 2gether.Respect his decision,and DO NOT try to secretly get pregnant,he will not suddenly be a happy camper running to by a crib and baby bottles.He will most likely hate you for "entrapping"him.If he dosen't budge consider other options like another relationship because your being denied the most precious gift in the world!Good luck.

Answer 4

This should always be an agreeable joint decision between couples. You have to respect his decision that he is not comfortable in raising a child at this point in his life. If this is something he wants to wait on, then respect his wishes. If you really want a child and you know he will not be changing his mind in the future, then you need to leave the relationship. Again, if it REALLY means that much to you. Don't go forth with tricking him into being a father and hope that everything will work out.

I can't imagine raising a child with someone who doesn't feel the same way. It's not fair to you, him or your future child.

Answer 5

You are in a hard place. I would say if he doesnt want a child he doesnt want a child. You have needs and what if you did get pregnant. Maybe he would leave or say ok Im in this with you and then not be a good dad. Some people just know if they are going to be a parent and when they say no they meant it. It will be so hard to pick but its him or a child. You are young enough to meet someone else if you arent going to settle for the no baby yet thing. good luck

Answer 6

It's time for some honest discussion with your boyfriend. Find out why he doesn't want to father a child. And if he ever plans to do so. And if so, when.
Getting pregnant 'accidentally' is never a good idea. Slapping him with an unwanted pregnancy isn't going to help him become the good father and loving partner that you want to have when the child is born.
And if he doesn't want to have children, or if his timeline doesn't match yours, you might have to consider terminating the relationship.
Better to do that than to cheat on him by forgetting to use birth control.

Answer 7

Not very nice, I understand what you're saying, if u want children and he still doesn't want any and u really do, then break up with him and find a man who does, but other than that talk to him to find out when he will be ready, and if it's not soon enough for u then you make the decision to leave him or not, so you life will be fullfilled, don't rush him, but also don't let yourself feel stuck. Do not trick him, this is very upsetting, and can cause breakups

Answer 8

Hi,

Have you discussed it with him. It may be he doesnt want a child now but later he may.

I would not become pregnant just to have a baby. Not a good idea. Your boyfriend may end up resenting the child.

After discussing and if its a no for the rest of your life, unfortunatly you may have to make the decision, stay and have no baby or leave your boyfriend and there is the chance.

Answer 9

Why on earth would you do that? If you want kids and he does not, find someone who does want them.

You cannot just "get" pregnant and lie about it, nothing should ever be based on a lie. Not to mention that if you want a child and he does not, what type of parent will he actually be?

Are you kidding me, I cannot believe you would consider doing that.

Didn't you guys ever talk about this stuff before you moved in to gether? If so, and you knew he did not want kids, why on earth did you stay in the relationship this long?

Answer 10

becoming a parent is serious buisness. u need to talk to him again i mean really talk and tell him how you're feeling and that these feelings arent going anywhere. think about the unborn child as well you dont want the babys father being unwilling or uncooperative in bringing up this baby. REMMEBER THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU TWO but rather about the unborn child.

Answer 11

Get out of the realationship before your do something that selfish. Be thankful he's honest with you about not being ready for children. If he's not ready all you're going to do is drive him away and make him feel resentful to you and possibly the child.