I realize that sometimes we have to accept love and friends however they come, with gratitude...?

Question

but, why is it so hard to adjust with some people- some friends...

I realize there are people who are friends, and yet have to be distant in some situations...but why is it so hard to change roles MYSELF...

I see other people do it, and I can do it even myself- but with a few people, it's so difficult to resist the temptation to be informal...

to know when to take off the robe of friendship, and put of the robe of keeping formal or distanced.

Does anyone know a name for this? A diagnosis?

Answer 1

Friends come, and friends go. Don't be afraid to make new ones and cut off others who aren't good for you. If it's too much work, then it's not a real friendship...

Answer 2

There are varying degrees of friendship. Some people will be close friends that you love & have much in common with, soulmates that you could tell anything to, that you can be yourself completely & feel accepted & loved, that you can cry to, laugh with, share inside jokes & talk about anything into the wee hours of the morning. Other people are more casual friends, not as close. You have some things in common & you do some things together but you wouldn't share certain things with them, you aren't completely open. Then there are people who aren't quite friends, who are merely acquaintances. You know them from work or school or the neighbourhood. You exchange pleasantries (talk about the weather, current events, nothing too personal).

You are not required to be close friends with everyone. That's impossible. You choose who you love and want to be close to. But you should at least be civil with the people you encounter. It's up to you who you want to remain formal & distant with & who you want to be informal & close to. Don't feel guilty about it. It's only natural. Don't force yourself to be friends with people that you don't like or don't want to be close to. Just try to distance yourself & hope that they get the message. Your most important friend is yourself so be true to you. Follow your heart.

Answer 3

--IF YOU indeed have to change who & what you are as a person in order to have many friends that is a big MISTAKE!

--BETTER to have a friend who likes & loves you for who you are , not what they want you to be.

--My wife and I have been best of friends for some 40 years. We struggled to keep it BEST and both know our greatest friends besides each other are Jehovah God & Christ.

--Those 2 never do anything to disrupt a true friendship, whereas we as humans do.

--IF YOU have to not be yourself(of course I do not mean in anything crude or unprincipled) YOUR IN the wrong company.

--If traits of your personality does not fall under unprincipled or crude then people are MANIPULATING YOU!

--Please note an admonition:

(Romans 12:3) “3 For through the undeserved kindness given to me I tell everyone there among YOU not to think more of himself than it is necessary to think; but to think so as to have a sound mind, . . .”

--SO IF you have to adjust yourself to any great degree & not be who you are, THEN YOU are manipulating yourself wrongly for others.

Answer 4

i know exactly how you feel. how you can be so close and just say and do whatever to some people and they just get you, yet theres others who you have to be careful what you say and do or else you wont be good friends.

simply put, dont try to accept everybody. if it doesnt feel natural, youll always be stressed around them. just be you no matter who you're with and problem's solved. but just remember you cant please everyone. theres a reason people (i notice this alot in high school) stay in cliques.. and the cliques just dont merge right most of the time.