A friend of mine who is a brilliant psychiatrist told me (and I have read it before also) that passion ALWAYS DIES within approximately two years. No matter how strong it starts out. There are no exceptions, no matter how good-looking, hot, and intense the people involved may be. This is a proven fact; there have been many studies.
...What do you guys think of this??? My first thought is, Its not fair, the human race is doomed and cursed; how can a marriage survive under these circumstances?!?!? "Survive" is I guess the right word choice, huh? Certainly not "thrive." Am I wrong / unrealistic to want more?? Any thoughts??
2007-03-25 15:21:31 · 15 answers · asked by F 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Really?? You guys are still excited to be with your spouse, like thrilled, after all that time??
2007-03-25 15:31:11 · update #1
I disagree passion dies when you give up on a relationship. It takes both of you to make it work, that includes taking about problems, worries and wonders. I have been w/ my b/f for almost 3 years and our relationship is still very strong. It's as strong since day 1 maybe your just looking in the wrong places and listening to the wrong people.
Good Luck
2007-03-25 15:36:06 · answer #1 · answered by ♥CyN♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not think psychiatrists should ever throw around terms like ALWAYS. When talking about human behavior there is never a use for the word ALWAYS... actually you shouldn't use the word never either.. oops...
anyways, I think passion can fade over time, and an average could possibly be 2 years.
People change, situations change, passion fades away. Which is why there are so many talk shows and books and articles on keeping passion alive. It is work... relationships are work, hard work.
A lot of people marry based on chemistry, passion and sex. That is dumb, because eventually you have to talk to each other. Better make sure you can communicate or you definitely are doomed.
2007-03-25 22:43:45 · answer #2 · answered by Steffi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think thats true I've been in the same relationship for 7 years...lived together for almost 5...and have a 3 year old and we manage to keep the passion alive..you just have to work at it like everything else and its not even a matter of a big elaborate plan just simple things showing that you appreciate eachother and that you still find them attractive a hug or sneek a kiss for no reason just like when you started dating...the problem I think is that people get so comfortable they stop trying..and then life happens and its easy to say you're too tired and go to sleep or just watch tv...but what about turning the tv off and talking about eachother's day...and after there are kids involved it is crutial to have a little time alone when you're NOT talking about the kids...although tempting because they're so cute but you can't keep a relationship alive talking only about kids, bills, and problems...But it can be done! Good luck!
2007-03-25 22:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by lilgangan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wrong. Passion changes. There are new passions. When my husband and I were married 4 years I went back to school and he needed some CEU's so we took an English class at a local community college together nights. That lit up our romance in a way I can't tell you. Was great fun to have him cheating off my papers all the time and pretty much we had sex after every class....lol For our ten year anniversary, I sent my husband an anonymous note inviting him to a bar and and blind date....I told him what I would be wearing and h ow to recognize me....again, new passion.....
as you grow old together, your definition of passions may change.....but so long as you both are helping each other become your best, you find new ways to fall in love and to lust for one another.... there are times when it is hard work...espeically the honesty part, because we all think that after XX amount of years HE should know or SHE should know....but there is no Santa claus (at least in marriage) and if you want it be a special time, wrapped all in a bow..... you have to make it happen....
2007-03-25 23:30:47 · answer #4 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I disagree, I have been with my fiance for 4 and 1/2 years, we have been engaged for about a year. The passion between us has not died much less shown signs of dying. It is just as strong today as it was when we met. In my opinion if you are with someone who is your complete match then you can "thrive" instead of just "survive". Most people these days are with each other based solely on physical attraction. They eventually get bored when they realize that this person does not really have anything to offer them. While physical attraction is needed, there is also the mental and emotional aspects of the relationship to consider. Most people do not take that into consideration.
2007-03-25 22:32:06 · answer #5 · answered by jenny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope, I know couples who have been together for more than 20 years who still maintain passion in their marriages, your "brilliant" psychiatrist friend doesn't seem all that brilliant to me. Sounds more like the type to rely on "studies" and statistics which only hold true for those within the stuidied group and have little or no bearing on the rest of the world.
2007-03-25 22:55:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh I totally disagree...totally! I've been with my husband almost 10 years and we've had lulls here and there...but those were usually due to some form of major stress or illnesses/injuries. But we DEFINETLY still have passion in our relationship. In fact for us I think there's more now than when we started dating. Maybe we're the exception and not the rule but it's just not true that everyone will lose the passion in their relationship.
2007-03-25 22:28:16 · answer #7 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So does that mean if we have more passion now after the time limit we are gave that we are great? Well I dont know if I agree with it even tho I have heard it before.. I have since started coming on YA started to believe it alot more.. that is all we read about on here... I am just lucky I have who I have I guess...
2007-03-25 22:27:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't wait to see my husband each day. He comes home for "nooners" every chance that he gets. He is an amazing person and I love him dearly. We are affectionate and there is definately still PASSION. We've been married for 11 years. You just have to have the right person.
2007-03-25 22:38:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not in my book...passion is alive and well after 13 years married, 20 years together...your friend is probably single.;)
2007-03-25 22:28:38 · answer #10 · answered by mrs O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋