Ok my mom died when I was 8 I am now 15. Last year we had some neighbors move in to the house next to us. They have a family of six the mom and dad and 2 girls and 2 boys. Well I have been getting jealous of the two girls (10 and 12) because I see everything in their mom that I want in a mom. She takes them shopping a lot, she just sits and talks with them. I really want to be able to just sit down alone with her and tell her how I feel, but it never seems right. She has a family of her own to take care of. she doesn't need to be worrying about me. I have thought several times about commiting suicide, but then chicken out because I think of how my life is ok when i'm out snowboarding. The neighbors mom offers to take me into town with her and her daughters almost daily when they are just running errands. I turn it down, I don't know why but I just do. I quess I just want her to figure out what I need but it's not gonna happen. Whats going on and what should I do about it??
2007-03-25 15:01:41 · 14 answers · asked by Truthordarelover 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
aww im sorry...but I personally no how you feel ...I was adopted and my adopted mother died when I was 5...and she was a single parent ..and when I was in 8th grade I met my real mother and a like a month after I met her she died...and im 16 now ... but I went through those feelings to and I still do so I understand when you look at a woman and you see those motherly traits and you try to pull them out just for you but that doesn't always work ..because you expect people to see the sad look in your eyes and on your face ..but I can tell you it never worked for me so im sure it won't happen for you either...I thinking the reason you turn her down on her offers is because you don't want her daughters to feel that your taking there mother away ...and being a baby because of course her daughters are younger than you ..I kind of have a substitute mother at my church she hugs me a lot but I don't sit by her or anything.. because I don't want her daughters to dislike me and she has a 12 year old too and I kind of feel uncomfortable telling her personal stuff ...Please don't kill yourself...!! I’ll beg you...im sure there mother would love to have another daughter especially if you explain your situation...she seems like a great mom ....if you find it hard to tell her write her a letter and make sure to tell everything you said here don't try to make the letter perfect by thinking about what your going to write to much..because then it can end up sounding like your obsessed ...(I have a story like that for you MY own experience)and if she lets you in...don't get to clingy even though that would be a natural reaction but..yea good luck
email me for ..more info ..questions..my stories ECT im here trust im still dealing with this everyday !!!
My email addys are Fizzysbabe1126@aol.com
And Fizzysbabe1126@yahoo.com.. i have im's to kay.. im here if you need me ; ) your not alone in this ...!!!
2007-03-25 17:23:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. DON'T KILL YOURSELF. I can't say that enough. Really, I can't.
2. Life goes in cycles... your life is really awful right now but it won't always be this way. You just have to keep going and when you get really depressed think about yourself snowboarding... you said that helps so DO IT and go snowboarding whenever you can.
3. A therapist really isn't a bad idea if you can afford it. And if you can't the school psychologist isn't such a bad idea either. Or a journal - they do wonders, I swear.
4. Next time your neighbor-mom asks you to go somewhere with her, accept! She might be picking up on how sad you are and trying to help out... who knows... even though she's not your mom she might end up being a great role model for you and a person you can talk to about stuff.
5. If you live with your dad (and it sounds like you do) I'm going to advise you to talk to him about how sad and depressed you get. He lost someone too so he will have empathy for you and you guys can help each other out.
I REALLY REALLY HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT FOR YOU.
2007-03-25 16:19:51 · answer #2 · answered by GeekGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lot of people take this in a very wrong way, but it's not, and i do not mean to offend you when i say, you should get a therapist. you are obviously going through an array of emotions that are leading you down some sorrowful path and like you said, even suicide. you feel very unwanted I suppose since you don't have a mom that can sit and let you know she loves you and cares for you and looks out for you. a lot of people don't have one parent or another and they have to deal, and that's difficult. you need an outlet for these emotions and, as you said, the mom next door has her own family to deal with, with their issues. your dad could hear you out or, like a said, a therapist. not only will they hear you out but they will also give you some great advice to keep your emotions under control (i.e. your suicidal thoughts you may get from time to time).
hopefully this long explanation helps and makes you think twice about your own thoughts.
2007-03-25 15:47:38 · answer #3 · answered by melloncollieromance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly,tell your dad or someone you trust like your friends or your teacher.Speak to them and share your feelings with them.After that,find sometime with your neighbour's mom and talk to her.After you talk,you will feel that your heart will be lighter.Share with her about your mom's death.Make her feel the pain and sorrow found in your heart.I have a very close Grandma who died when I was 8.I was miserable but everyone must except it.The dead could not be alive nor revive again.Even if you have a step mom, nobody could replace a true parent place like your mom.I am sure that your mom in heaven is watching over you and does not wish you to be miserable for your whole life.So be cheerful again and show your mom in heaven that she need not worried about you. Whats going on is that you must except your mother's death and see this as a fate.Nobody wants it to happen but nobody can control nature and only heaven and god can.
Be happy and don't be miserable.Lead a happy life is one happines.
PSS:I may be only nine but I know a lot of things.
2007-03-25 15:52:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through, that feeling. My mom did not die, but I have not seen her since I was in the 6th. grade nor have I had a relationship with her. I am 30 now. I know that there is a lot that I missed out on. My grandparents on my dads side of the family raised us. They were great, but not my mom. I missed out on having that relationship. I did however find comfort in my friends moms. I had a few close friends and their moms were great to me. I still call and talk to one mom...she is the mom of my best friend, I even call her and go see her, even if I have not spoken to her in awhile. I just stop by and go in like I live there to this day, when I am in town. i would say try finding a best friend, who understands what you are going through. Moms are wonderful people, it is in our heart to take care of kids, even if by blood they are not our own. You can speak to her, I promise as a mom, I would be flattered if a young lady like yourself needed me to be there for her. I for one would be honored, and I am sure that she will feel that way too.
2007-03-29 05:15:26 · answer #5 · answered by HappyGoLucky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to let her know maybe not just yet but soon when you do you will feel better about you and she will be able to invite you out more maybe with just her or as part of there family too. it will probably let her understand you more. that way she know how to help you. i was adopted and I'vie never seen my parent. i have a adopted family my mom and i don't get along but i,ve let other moms know how i feel and they treat me as there i talk to them go shopping and so on..and it made me understand things i never thought i could about life and mom and dads. just be honest and learn to be true and live life to the fullest because you are special....in gods eyes and in everyone else you meet!!!take care and be the bigger person and speak up.also sometimes People notice the attention you need for love and comforting it just takes you to step up and say"hey i need your help..as a mom!!! good luck stay safe!! Let me know if you need to talk im here for advice
2007-03-25 15:23:09 · answer #6 · answered by b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen you have to talk to someone this is a sad story but the main thing you should be getting help for are the thoughts of suicide even if you doubt you would do anything just having that thought isnt healthy try and except the invites out and maybe you will find you bond really nicely with these people it must be really hard for you? keep your chin up sweety
2007-03-25 16:55:00 · answer #7 · answered by www.girl2mum.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like, almost daily, the mom is actually reaching out to you. You can either take it and go into town with them, or just sit and feel sorry for your self......I would bet that she would be pleasantly surprised if one day you just said...OK... and went with them.......people are people, we all have the same feelings even though some of us have been dealt different cards to play with...
2007-03-25 16:56:32 · answer #8 · answered by 123..WAIT! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah the exact same thing is happeing to me right now but instead of just my mom both my perents are dead. I live with my grandperents.. "our" neighbors are the same but theres only one 11 year old girl. and one 10 year old boy. its scarry sometimes because i wish i could just confess all my problems to her. but i cant of course .. i'm kinda alone in this world. my chemical romance saved my life.. they help alot. umm what else this is hard since ... well i'm going through the same problem right now. just hmmm try to find a role model thats older then you and you can find more time to spend with her then alone stareing at the walls all day tinking of how nice it would be to have a mom..
2007-03-25 15:09:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's important for girls your age to have a female influence in their life. I think you should take your neighbor up on her offers, and have fun. What you might enjoy is joining the Big Sisters program, where you can get a big sis that will be with you one-on-one.
2007-03-25 15:06:23 · answer #10 · answered by Fool on the Hill 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋