Ever heard of A "Purity Ball"? Do you think its creepy?

Question

Its like a ball, where girls pledge their virginity to their fathers. I think thats what they do.

Answer 1

It is very creepy!
The girl does not pledge her virginity to her father per se, rather she pledges to remain a virgin until marriage. Generally, the father, however is at the back of this, as many men have this hang up.
Often the girl is pressured at a young age (often as low as eight), when she would have very little concept of sexual relations.
If her outlook on the matter changes, years after the magic of her "Cinderella ball" has worn off, her parents (father) can hold it over her, as in, "I forked over 15K for your purity ball, you better not have wasted my money" (as in lost her virginity)
As you can see thus far, I have some serious problems with this, especially in this day and age.
Firstly, whether you are male or female, the decision to wait to have sexual relations is a very personal one which should be subject to no type of bribery or coercion.
Secondly, a young woman's (or young man's) identity and character should not be based solely around their sexual history. To do so is extremely prurient, and in some cases misogynistic.
Thirdly, young women (or men) who have taken this purity vow, and have since become sexually active often refrain from seeking appropriate medical care because they are ashamed of their "breach of vow". Often, this often extends to being in denial of their sexuality, and not purchasing adequate protection from STDs or conception. This is very unhealthy
Fourthly: In this day and age, we should be teaching young people to make safe, rational, respectful and caring decisions based on informed guidance, not archaic rituals.
Fifthly: this is 2007, not the dark ages (though with this stuff going on, it is starting to look more and more like the dark ages), and this is this is the US, not Sudan (where they practice genital mutilation in order to control virginity...another disgusting trend). Some people need to get a grip and join the rest of the world.
Sixthly: your virginity belongs to you. Not your dad, or your mom, or your church or your boyfriend/girlfriend or your religion!
Seventhly: here are some things that make one pure: kindness, thoughtfulness, helpfulness, tenacity, bravery, love, humility, unselfishness, strength.
Sexual history does not even rank.

If you want to have a ball celebrating something a young person should have perhaps the above mentioned qualities might give some ideas.

How about a "boundary ball", where a young man vows to always respect the boundaries of a young woman.

Or perhaps a "motive" ball, where a young man or woman vows to make their decisons based on the purest of motives.

Having a "hymen ball" is unhealthy, promotes gross double standards, and at the back of it sets women back decades in the ongoing struggle to maintain equality.

And yeah.....it's just plain creepy!

Answer 2

My first thought was "ewww........"

Then I read what Ru'ach wrote, and thought "EWWWWWWWWWW...."

Now, I'm a married woman, with a daughter who's 2. But I would never have done this as a single teen (not to mention the fact that my father wouldn't have gone either - he's the type who minds his OWN business!). This seems more like a "we're better than you" excuse for all of the small townies to come out and pressure people into making a private issue into a public one. The issue of when and if you have sex (and who you chose to have it with) is between you and your partner (and if you're young, your family should know about your choices also). Sounds like the townspeople who sponsor this kind of thing are just nosy biddies with nothing better to do than poke their noses into their neighbors' business.

Just another thing to note - these "purity balls" seem to be a religious thing - and of all of the religious people I've known in my life, the children of pastors were the MOST likely to have premarital sex. (Note, I said of all the ones I'VE known - which is actually quite a few).

Answer 3

Heres the self description from a website, sounds kind of contrived to me. I prefer to teach my kids that I support their decisions, as long as they know and accept the potential consequences before jumping off.

The Father Daughter Purity Ball is a memorable ceremony for fathers to sign commitments to be responsible men of integrity in all areas of purity. The commitment also includes their vow to protect their daughters in their choices for purity. The daughters silently commit to live pure lives before God through the symbol of laying down a white rose at the cross. Because we cherish our daughters as regal princesses—for 1 Peter 3:4 says they are “precious in the sight of God”—we want to treat them as royalty.

Answer 4

I've heard of a purity ring, but the girl promises to herself to keep her virginity until marriage...

Answer 5

If that isnt a breeding for incestuous relationships between fathers and daughters, i dont know what is. What kind of people do these things???