What was the turning point that led you to make the decision you had to move on and leave? My husband is very controlling and acts like a spoilt brat - when I talk to him, he ridicules, repeats what I say, then punishes me with silence and would never admit if he is angry or whatever. Passive-agressive.
"Linda M": please reply too, it sounds like a similar situation.
2007-03-25 13:52:29 · 17 answers · asked by Alyssa Macey 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The turning point was when I "realized" I was my own person & he did not own me, no matter what he said or did.
2007-03-25 13:59:33 · answer #1 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband is immature. I am wondering if you two ever had a talk about his behavior. What was the outcome? This seems more of an attitude problem that he has with you than a controlling problem that you say he has.
I am also wondering how you talk to him. Are they with kind and polite words? Or, does he just act like this with you and no one else?
The turning point would be to leave a spouse if he was violent and has hit you to a point that you were afraid to be left alone with him. That is a turning point when you should leave. What you say here is not a good reason to leave him.
He may act like this because he probably has issues or would say some baggage that he has had since the past. Did you know he was like this before marriage?
I would consider on reading these two great books called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage".
With what he is doing now, he can overcome those with some help and support. You just need to talk to him about his behavior is affecting you and you are tired of him acting out like that with you. Something needs to change, and he is the only one that can do that, not you.
2007-03-25 21:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I had two turning points, it took me years to finally break free:
1 was when there was a big earthquake where I live, I was at work. I cared if my parents were ok, but I didn't care if he was ok, in fact I sort of hoped he wasn't so I wouldn't have to break up with him.
2 was when I realized that in spite of everything, and all the years we had been together, that no promise he ever made to me would be kept, but he expected me to keep all mine.
Then there were the times he got violent (screaming, slamming doors, throwing furniture) and the neighbors called the police. He called me from the psych ward to say he "hoped I was happy, look what I did to him".
After that, there was no going back. It was hard, you just have to say "no" and "no" again, leave and don't go back. Even when we met in public (for my safety) and he made a scene about me coming back and trying again, I had to be strong and say "no" again and again. It was awful, but I'm happier now.
2007-03-25 23:05:55 · answer #3 · answered by rn7471 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My partner use to be this way . We argued all the time screaming the house down. We would throw the most terrible insults at eachother. I dId leave for 3 months and was the happiest I had been in years. It was like I was alive and living again. But stupid me took him back as he cried and begged and I felt sorry. Now we dont argue at all anymore, we are not itimate ( thank goodness) and Ive never felt so lonley and unhappy. I have told him I dont love him and want to leave again, but he just cant except it and tells me m being selfish. If you are not happy, you really should get out now. You deserve to be and feel happy in your life.
2007-03-25 21:27:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was just sick of it. I was married to him for five years, and for the last two i couldn't even stand to be in the same room with him. I think when I was sitting there one day hoping they would call me and tell me he had an accident and died at work was when i decided enough was enough. It wasn't good for me to be thinking like that. Although, i knew about two months after the wedding when i asked him why he married me and he said cause you take care of my daughter was when i knew for sure the marriage wasn't going to work. I just wish I had been smart enough to get out of it then. I think the sooner the better, staying in a bad marriage that bad is never a good idea for anyone.
2007-03-25 21:02:15 · answer #5 · answered by linda m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When he slammed my hand in the kitchen drawer, and broke two fingers. We were having an argument, AGAIN. I was going to go to the store for baby formula. (he never let me go alone,) he said no, I'll go. I said no, I want to go out, and get away from the baby, and I'm just going to the store. I said, I'd even call my mom, and have her go with. He took the phone off the wall, and slammed it into the kitchen silverware drawer! I said, are you crazy? and went for the phone, as soon as my hand was in the drawer, he slammed my hand as hard as he could, I tried to pull away, but, he caught two fingers. He drove me to the hospital, while I cried and cried, with a crying baby on my lap, (who was crying, because I was. ) at the hospital he told the nurse how stupid I was, and that I was wrestling the phone away from HIM!!! and I leaned back on the drawer! When we were alone, he acted like he was crying, I said, why are YOU crying? I'm the hurt one! He said, I'm afraid you'll tell the police! That night when we got home after he went to sleep, I called my mom, and a taxi, and I never looked back.
2007-03-25 21:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it will be that u will fell a lot better and that you will get to finish your own sentence! i am not married but when my mom left my dad he could not live w\o her and said he would change. maybe that will happen with u? all i am saying is that leave him then see if he lives w\o you! and then you might live happily ever and alive after.
2007-03-25 21:04:40 · answer #7 · answered by Dina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The turning point for me was his constant accusations. I was tired of defending myself all the time. To be acused of cheating when you are not was the last straw for me. When you have had enough, then it is time to move on..
2007-03-25 20:57:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was with a controlling idot and a jealous one to boot.. the turning point came when our daugher was in the hospital and i met him coming up to the room and told him we needed to run to the house once there.. he said i must have been having sex in her room at the hospital and need to give my lover time to leave
2007-03-25 21:05:26 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would of left a long time ago. find your self a man. that will treat you with respect. and don't act like a child. you are not is property your his wife, find someone and move on. good luck.
2007-03-25 20:58:14 · answer #10 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋