Am I worthless and without character?

Question

I am so angry, hurt. I just got back from spending the day at the beach and what was supposed to be a beautiful and relaxing day was ruined. Am I worthless and without character because I chose to ignore a group of loudmouth kids who were splashing and laughing and being annoying? I was studying and tuned them out because I just wanted to enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. I honestly didn't hear what they were saying, and I did ask them to stop throwing rocks at the ducks and geese. But my husband said I was a spineless coward for not getting up and going over to where they were to tell them that their language was offensive. I only heard one of them say "fat azz" a couple of times, but my husband says they were dropping "F-bombs" and I should have straightened them out. He says he can't stand cowardly doormats, and he won't be with anybody who has no character. He kept cussing at me in a loud voice and there were other people around. I told him to shut up, and now we're not speaking.

Just to clarify, my husband was further down the beach than I was and that's why he said I should have taken care of it rather than have him come back to where we were to "take care of business." He also said that since I'm generally more peaceful and not as threatening as he is, I probably would have gotten a more favorable response from the punks.

Thanks to anybody who reads all this and responds...

Answer 1

I don't know if I would call you that. Maybe nonconfrontational. He should not have been cussing in public, he just demonstrated that he had less respect for you than the kids. I tend to pick my battles also and that one probably wouldn't have rated that high on my list. Not only that, but I think there are some things a man should do; if we were in that situation I think I would turn to my spouse to remedy the problem. Give yourselves a little time and then talk with him calmly. Let him know where you are coming from and have him let you know the same. Good luck!

Answer 2

You may have been closer to the troublemakers but that in no way gives your husband the right to treat you that way. Who is he to cuss at you and criticize other people's inappropriate behavior. He says he doesn't want to be with someone who is a doormat but that is the only person who would put up with that kind of attitude from him. The fact that you made an excuse for him not straightening those kids out suggests that he is controlling you. I don't know you or your husband, but if that is how he acts all of the time he needs some therapy. It wasn't the loud kids at the beach that ruined your day it was your husband. I was married to a yelling controlling jerk once and notice how I said was. I wouldn't talk to him either. Sounds like you either need a marriage counciler or a divorce lawyer.

Answer 3

I think you handled the situation with the kids very nicely. You are not worthless, but your husband is for speaking to you like he did. You deserve much better than that. Please don't sink to his level. He will speak soon, but as for you, I wouldn't be the one to apologize because you did nothing wrong. You just handled a situation different that he would have. Good luck.

Answer 4

You are not worthless but being assertive takes practice, not character. Ask your husband to help you do this. If he continues to insult you and tries to break your spirit, consider divorceing him. A marriage should not be like that.

Answer 5

So you don't want to be loud and aggressive..... Sounds like your hubby doesn't have a problem with either. He is being a jerk about this. Who are you? The beach police? There's a question you should ask him......

Answer 6

Your husband is a coward and a BEAST!
You deserve better, lose him!