What a good way to heat up a marriage?

Question

I need something to help my marriage beome better.. after having two kids we dot have much time for each other! Anyone suggestions?

p.s. I dont do the whole "open marriage thing or "threesome thing" We are a Christian Couple!

Answer 1

married christian cpl here
we suggest get somone to watch the kids and do somethings you use to before you had kids such as go to a movie,maybe dinner,take walks,go on a picnic

Answer 2

Plan a livingroom picnic after you put the kids to bed. Throw a blanket on the floor, light candles and have bread and cheese. Maybe some light music in the background.

Answer 3

Well whenever you two get a moment together charish it. Make sure you plan couple time everyweek. Find a babysitter. So you two can enjoy time together. Go for a walk, go see a movie just spend time together. Try things you two have never done before. Good luck!

Answer 4

role playing
go have sex in a hotel order food open the door in something sexy in front of your husband also wear a wig and have fun

Answer 5

good call russell!!!! set up a Saturday night get-away just you and your husband. if possible with out him knowing. just say you have a little surprise for him. that should heat things up a little!!! Good luck:)

Answer 6

do something different get some pornand act it out or suprise him in the shower get a sitter for the night and run off to a motel

Answer 7

heres a good way to heat up a marriage

put another log on the fire, cook me up some bacon and some beans.......

Answer 8

And what does being a Christian couple have to do with any of it? Haven't you read about Jacob? Abraham? David? Elkanah? They had open marriages, and God never said anything against it... indeed, blessed them! Or are you the type of Christian couple who says only missionary style on Tuesdays, and anything else is a sin? Seriously, being a Christian couple should not be something you use to limit yourself. It's something you should use to liberate yourself... and if you don't want to have a threesome or an open marriage, it is something you can use to liberate yourself from that, by realizing that God has given you and your husband power over each other's bodies. (1 Cor 7:4) And if you do want to have that, you should realize that you are freed from legalistic requirements to bow to the will of others, and that God has given you the power to choose how your husband's body will be used, and your husband the power to choose how your body will be used.

I say this because anything I say as advice to "head up a marriage" is going to be rejected by those who hold to the "missionary style on Tuesdays" extreem. Some people start out with the idea that God has limited sex because of some mixed up theology about sex being the forbiden fruit. (When did sex ever grow on a tree, anyway?) Or some limitation God has placed on sex because their pastor told them so, not because they can find it in the Bible. (They can't find it there because it isn't! God didn't ever limit sex!)

But on the opposite extreem are those who say that even when you're married, you get to do whatever you want. No, the Biblical principle would be that when it comes to sex, you get to do whatever your husband wants, and he gets to do whatever you want. I think this actually was a brilliant idea.

With that in mind, it sounds like you've got other reasons for not wanting an open marriage or a threesome. Then say so! Don't hide behind being a Christian. Say it, open and outright, "I want my husband to myself." It's not a sin! It's not selfishness to want what's yours!

Which brings me to the first and foremost thing that heats up my marriage: when my wife and I actually say, "I want you. You're mine, and I want you." Without that, there's no hope to heat up your marriage. With that, there's no way to cool it down. But for my wife and I at least, it's easy to fall into the daily grine and forget to actually say it, some times for weeks or months at a time. We think we're showing it, but we don't say it or do anything about it. My wife loves it when another guy flirts with her, because she knows I'm going to step right up and back him down. I will never loose a fight over her. And when she turns him down cold and says, "Sorry, my husband is better," that does a lot for me as well. And if/when it comes to it, I can hold my own in a fight. I won't fight for much... but I'd kill for my wife.

Another simple idea to heat things up is to play juvinile sex-games. Naked twister, strip poker, naked-tickle tag, naked squirt guns... all the things you played in high school and college (or in my case, your friends did, since I didn't do that kind of thing in highschool or college.) It doesn't matter if you've ever done them before or don't know the rules. Don't know the rules to naked twister? Umm, it's twister, except your naked! Don't know the rules to strip poker? Either look them up, or make them up. Etc. Let yourselves feel young and foolish, and make sure it's clear "This ends in sex, but only after we go through this and that and the other." My wife and I play strip poker such that the looser is completely responsible for the pleasure of the winner. Gives us something to play hard for, but also everyone has fun playing and when the game is over.

Then there's always meeting him at lunch for a nooner. Plan him to meet him for lunch, and when he comes out of the office or when you go in to meet him, just say something like, "I've got to go home right after we have sex, because I didn't wear any panties and I don't want anyone to look up my skirt." Or you could plan it a little better with him.

For my next suggestion, I'd like to remind you that I believe you have full rights over your husband, so if you say no to it, it's not something you have to justify. "I don't want to," means just what you say, and if you don't want to your will is law in regards to his body. That said, my wife and I have enjoyed watching erotic videos together, and going to strip clubs/bars. It's a rare thing, rarer than my wife would like, more common than I would like. (No, I didn't get those backwards...) My wife is better looking than any of the strippers, paying too much for drinks to look at half-as-good girls is only mildly interesting, but both my wife and I do apreciate the beauty of the female form, and so having a chance to study it in more detail and numbers than the average day allows can be fun. But over thanksgiving weekend, we were at one, and there was a married couple at the other end of the bar. She was obviously "above" this sort of thing, and his eyes were so glued to the dancers that even the drunk guy that sat next to them for a few minutes was embarased. The girls were cute... but his wife could easily have gotten up there and collected twice the tips. But if she said anything to him, he wouldn't dare turn his gaze from the show. *I* wanted to slap him. My wife thought it was funny, and whispered to me, "That's why you're getting lucky tonight, and he's not." If that would be your husband, or if you're afraid it would be, then I can see you not going out on this kind of thing with him. But if you and he will be able to enjoy a show where pretty girls are trying to entice and excite you/him, but still want each other, then go for it!

All the same disclaimers apply to this idea: take him lingere shopping for you. He gets to pick the stores, what you try on, and what you take home. Then when you get home, you model it, and he gets to "unwrap" you.

Other positions are all some couples need. For other couples, they're a dead end. They rarely cause problems though, so you could just try switching who's on top, more/less oral/manual stimulation, etc.

Don't be afraid to make sex silly! Read the Song of Solomon! And if you're not sure you understand it, read it again! And again! And again! Until you can make a pretty sure bet who is saying what, when, to who. And while I love the interpretations of the Song of Solomon as being the Church and Christ as bride and bridgroom, don't read it that way! Read it as erotic poetry, because on the surface, that's what it is. And if you have trouble with that, ask each other. If you can't figure it out together, ask me! One of the first ways I seduced my wife was with the Song of Solomon. She always knew it was more than just a grocery list, but she didn't realize it was *that* erotic. Try to read it as a narative. Read it to each other. Take on the roles: you play Shulamite, he plays Solomon.