my husband works for a few weeks away at a time..home for a week or so..gone again.. it sucks and i feel totaly like a single parent.. he also chooses to go for these periods of time...and could work closer to home...but wont! he goes with other guys..most all are single..HE just got home late last nite..and he left at 5 pm this afternoon..saying he would be back in 2 hours..its now been 4 and a half, it seems like he doesnt want to spend time with us. or care that im DOING EVERYTHING myself! When he is here hes not interested in sex..or anything.physical or emotional! i need some help and advice for you ladies out there, ....? yes i have tried tellin him how i feel, and thats what makes this so upsetting..bc he KNOWS how much it hurts me... but he just doesnt seem to care...
he'd rather go out with friends..play poker, be online. watch tv..then do ANYTHING but be with his family...im out of ideas? help!
2007-03-25 13:31:40 · 10 answers · asked by lisa baby... 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YES we have children.
2007-03-25 13:40:06 · update #1
this is what i did when the same thing happened to me. i joined my local church. I have so many new friends now and so many things going on in my life that is did not matter to me that he did not want to spend time with me. I was out having fun, the kids were enjoying themselves and thru it all I grew a close personal relationship with God and have never been in a better place. I cannot say the same thing about my marriage that it is in a good place, but I can say this.......It is not what we go thru but how we handle it and I will not allow him to control how I feel about me ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-25 13:40:34 · answer #1 · answered by Traci G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this is simple, if you can support your family without him, and you are not getting anything from him support wise, as a husband should, it seems that the only logical thing to do is separate then divorce.
like it or not, marriage is not Disney land, or a fairy tell where everything is always rosey, it is a working relationship, like a business, and that 50/50 is a bunch of crap, sometimes it is 99-1 and others its 1-99, so, don't ask a bunch of strangers, take hold of your situation, and manage it to a result you like, be it divorce or separation or acceptance.
And God bless Traci, she has a good point, join a church, get to know the Lord.
2007-03-25 20:46:32 · answer #2 · answered by rosie p 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you want to figure out is why you married him in the first place and were there any clues that this might be his behavior after getting married.
Secondly, you need to ask him this same question. If it makes him stop and think about putting his priorities in order then you may have something to work with. If his reply is dodgy or full of excuses, then you need to start making plans for getting on with your life. (Your children will understand better than you could possibly imagine regardless of the decision you make)
All the best to you and yours.
2007-03-25 20:50:35 · answer #3 · answered by 7s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you checked your credit card bills for things like bars, strip clubs? Confront him tell him he is going to have to be a father and a husband or leave. I would be concerned that he is cheating just based on what you said so i wouldn't want to sleep with him anyway. I hate to tell anyone to get a divorce but if he can't step up a be a man then why should you and your kids be miserable? Kids aren't happy in a disfunctional household. You might find someone to love you and your kids who would actually step up and be a father to them. Do what you have to but don't let him keep neglecting his responsibilities.
2007-03-25 21:40:22 · answer #4 · answered by zookeeper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband works then goes straight to his mothers and stays there for hours and hours. He would much rather be there then at home with us. I think it is an escape. He doesn't have to deal with the running water in the sink, or the lawn or the garden or the oil change or whatever. He avoids all that. I don't exactly know why but if you ever get the answer, let me know please. Good luck to you
2007-03-25 20:42:12 · answer #5 · answered by I love winter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you have to cut your losses. Sounds like his family isn't his number one priority and it that's the case it's time to let go. Start planning for your break before you take the full plunge. That way you can prep yourself and the kids.
2007-03-25 20:42:26 · answer #6 · answered by Inquiring mind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that it is time to grow up. He chose to get married and now he should act like a husband. If you have children, he really needs to grow up and be a father.
2007-03-25 20:39:22 · answer #7 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my question is why are you putting up with it? you can't change him but you can change you. if this is unacceptable to you your only choice is to walk away and start a new life that is more fullfilling. there are men out there that will treat you better. if you choose to stay then it's your own fault you're not happy. i am sorry if this sounds harsh but i've been there, done that. now i'm with a man who treasures me.
2007-03-25 20:47:24 · answer #8 · answered by CRYSTAL L21 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
remind him he is not single and needs to make his family priority. Don't let him get away with this behavior any more.
2007-03-25 20:58:30 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you need to talk to him find out what is wrong and go from there tell him how you feel and how he is making you feel
2007-03-25 20:56:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋