Dealing with trust issues?

Question

I am having a hard time with trust b/c I was in an emotional/mentally abusive marriage. I am physically out of that situation now. The worse thing about this is I don't trust anyone. I am more suspicious than normal. I don't trust ANYONE. I am paranoid. What can I do to learn trust again. How do I have faith in people again?

Answer 1

Time does heal as long as you remove such negative influences from your life and steer clear of any new ones. You definitely want to resolve this issue before getting involved on a serious level with anyone. Counseling wouldn't hurt either.

Answer 2

You can't develop 'trust' in anything (relationship, location, people, etc) if your most recent (and programming) experience was one of mistrust and betrayal. That's like asking someone, who yesterday threw up some milk they had drunk that was actually spoiled, to drink a glass of milk. Their most immediate impression would likely be: "Why would I risk getting sick again?"

Your feelings of not being able to trust anyone are actually quite normal. What you need to do is give yourself time for the immediacy of the impression to fade, which means avoiding the people whom you KNOW you can't trust (i.e. the person who abused you) and trying to stay around people who you do (friends and/or familY) and yourself. Right now, it's more important to learn how to trust the most valuable and important person right now: yourself.

That means, developing ways in which you will be able to 'trust' your judgements again. This means understanding why you made the judgements that you did (were you vulnerable before getting married, abused before, unsure of yourself before, low self-esteem and such) so that you will better understand how to avoid them in the future.

Trust and understanding of others begins from trusting and understanding oneself. Don't rush to have faith, that would only mean you are rushing to 'trust' other people before you are ready to, which suggests you are still vulnerable. Be cautious and let the faith come when it's ready.

Answer 3

I read somewhere that paranoia is a heightened state of awareness.

I believe that finding a balance in life is essential to happiness. In order to be able to find emotional fulfillment, we must trust others in order to feel trusting. I also believe that having confidence in yourself is important. If you suffer from low self-esteem it is going to screw with your head the rest of your life. Try to get some counseling, and then start doing things which increase your confidence level. Each day will become easier.

Life is too short to go through it so suspicious of everyone that you never let anyone in. I understand staying guarded, but if you ever want to be blissfully happy, you need to believe that you are already there. Feel it, taste it, see yourself completely happy with someone.

You trust by just DOING it. Let go of all of the negative emotions which are standing in the way of your happiness. Let go. It is a relief when you do. :-)

Answer 4

That's understandable given your situation. You'll need to recalibrate your sense of trust.

So how do people judge trust? By evidence, and intuition. Your intuition is colored by past events, so lean harder on evidence.

What IS trust anyway? It's simply to predict what they'll do. We trust people to be who they are! Like the fellow in Fever Pitch, who could be trusted absolutely to put sports fandom ahead of his relationship. That didn't make him a better partner, but the way in which it made him worse was acceptable to his girlfriend. He was a "known quantity".

Don't ever confuse "trust" and "admiration", they are not the same. It is a mistake to put someone on a pedestal of trust. People put on pedestals always fall.

Answer 5

Its ok to not at first trust people, especially after your situation. If you do have at least one person you can trust then talk to them. If you don't feel comfortable talking to them, then go talk to a professional. They can certainly help you somehow. Like all good things though, its not going to happen overnight. It'll take time. But, I guess the best advice I can give you now it to try and slowly trust other people with small stuff, then gradually build with bigger things.

Answer 6

give your self time, you can trust ya real friends if you have some that is, you need your friends at a time like this, don't rush into anything like another relationship etc. just go out and have fun and enjoy ya life, dont take it too seriously right now, you been thru enough, i know what ya going thru, i have just got out of an ugly relationship too and my ex is still harrassing me like more then were together, its scary but in time we will learn from it and move on. im just being with my friends now and just laughing, that does help, don't let that bad relationship put you of another , people like them are sick and we are a better and stronger person then they will ever be. hang in there

Answer 7

I truly have been on the different facet of this coin. i became the single constantly accused, and it felt like my spouse wasn't chuffed till she stumbled on something, something, on me. Her previous husband cheated on her. you're actually not waiting for a extreme courting in case you have have faith themes to this quantity. you assert he has by no ability given you a reason, yet yet you nonetheless mistrust. You stand the possibility if ruining a sturdy courting as properly as a sturdy guy. that's superb to apply the ability spent attempting to locate fault on your fiancee in the direction of improving the courting. yet you may want some help or counseling on your have faith themes based on your ex-husband.

Answer 8

It will take time, but you will probably be more cautious in the future. Honestly, I don't trust anyone.

Answer 9

YOU CANT..... TRUST NO ONE EVER AGAIN!!!! PEOPLE ARE EVILLLL!!!!! YOU CAN ONLY TRUST YOURSELF AND NOW ME! I USED TOO BE LIKE YOU, UNTIL THE WORLD SCREWED ME!!!!! JOIN ME, AND THE WORLD WILL REGRET THEIR MISDEEDS!!!!

Answer 10

try going to a physiologist. or call Dawson McAllister. his website is http://dmlive.com/index.html
hope this helps