How can you get your teenage kids to actually clean and help you out?

Question

I am suck a busy person that I never have time to clean my house or have time to myself. My kids make all the messes, how do i get them to clean up after themselves and actually help me too so I am not so stressed out and worn out all the time?

Answer 1

First, try bribes. Teenagers are selfish - they are learning about who they are as people, and this self-reflective stage makes them pretty unaware of the people around them. Bargaining and bribing may get their attention. If they help, be sure that you follow through on your agreement, and praise the heck out of what they did, even if it isn't precisely the way you would do it (remember, you are raising them to be adults who will do things their own way, so let 'em start getting a handle on it now.) If bargaining doesn't work, tell them what they will do to contribute, tell them how much time they have, and tell them what you will take away if they don't do their part. Then *follow through.* They may not like it, and they may complain, but at this point, you need to show them who the parent is. Again, if they comply, thank them and tell them how much what they did helped, and that you're very grateful for what they did. If you took something away, return it promptly. Try making a rule, like communal space needs to be cleaned up, and set a cleaning time period during which they can't go out until things are tidy. I know it's hard to be like this and they some whining kids are in the future, but as adults they will understand the importance of contributing to the family, responsibility, and working to earn play time.

And while they're cleaning during the designated time, take a bath, read a book, relax. They won't be teens forever, and you'll work it out.

Answer 2

This may sound really childish but make a chart and every time they clean the house give them a sticker to put on the chart and when they have a certain amount of stickers( Your choice) let them choose a family activity to do together. (Go out to eat,throw party with friends, see new pg-13 movie ECT.) Or try a Allowance. Mine was about 2-5 dollars every week or 2 ( depending on how much unneeded money there is.

Answer 3

There are a couple of ways to do this. One is suttle insistance on personal responsibility and the trail it leaves. Make each responsible for their own trail and a equal portion of the community areas. Suttle insistance when you are worn out is very hard and agonizing but can be accomplished. I used the have too's and the want too's philosophy and the amount of effectiveness was impressive and simple to understand. Children become conditioned to being taken care of and if everything is done for them it is a natural growth of expectation it will continue as experienced. With my kids, they were always asking for permission to do the things that they considered fun and as simple as going to their friends home to associate. When I grew fatigued at the repetition of dialog asking if their room was clean or etc, we went to a learning phase of responsibility. I made a chart and divided it into two sections. The first section was labeled have too's. It represented the responsibilities required to move to section two, labeled the want too's. They understood the concept of completing section one before proceeding to the next and is a easy concept to understand. As with any learning process there is a curve and to fine tune the process it was necessary to correct short cuts but those proved to be relatively easy once they knew that I did not always check promoting a mutual trust but when I checked as process maintenance and found cheating or half effort the rules did not change being consistant. All of the have too's must be completed before any of the want too's would be approved setting the priority, and allowing for special approval based on circumstance by the administrator, that would be you. When all of the have too's are complete, want too's could be approved very easily, incentive, otherwise special approval was necessary and respect for the rules you make was enforced by their own willingness to accomplish the ease of yes answers or permissions. Bottom line for such a lengthy answer is by doing the things I was responsible for teaching them and making them responsible for themselves inadvertantly caused them to become responsible for their freedoms as well. No more nagging, begging, screaming or periods of disention making me the bad guy. The rules were there and they made the decision I simply managed the process. When asked for a freedom I did not ask them if this was done or that was done, I went to the rule board of TWO. Based on the information, I would either approve their request or show the deficiency and that was the answer. In the beginning as all learning is a process but I found that the curve of this process very short as it is easy and teaches more than asking for permission to do something you want or fun. Priority is in place and the learning of earning freedom and so much more of the basics that we miss in parenting were put into place. Trust me kids are smart and when shown the path they will advance very quickly without veering off of the path to one of laziness or deceit as those carried the penalties same as non-compliance with step one. The rules you make and the degree of time you are willing to spend in the management of this process is up to you but the more flexibility you show and acceptance for the rules you make will return a longer curve to what you seek and teaching becomes a good tool. Do they know the help you seek is personal responsibility, if not this is a good lesson plan and takes the heat off of you when you say no with a reason. They have only to look at the board and see why they cannot do something fun.

Answer 4

I hate to say it, because I made sure my daughter knew, from day one, the meaning of pitching in, but you need to try an allowance. You might try writing all of the chores down on separate pieces of paper and putting them in a hat. Let the kids choose chores and put a price on each, depending on the time it takes to complete it. Hopefully, money will motivate them. :)

Answer 5

i guess one thing i can get the kids to do finally is their laundry. i told them if they wouldnt do it they wouldnt have clothes to wear and it actually worked. they got up for school with nothing they liked clean, so that afternoon they came straight home and did it. on several occasions they put theirs in with mine but i would just put it back in their room! another thing is dishes. ill cook but they have to help with dishes at least twice a week. if they dont help i just let them pile up, they have finally started realising that mom is not the maid! if they drive keep their keys and if the need to go somewhere you can tell them that you will take them but you have to clean up the living room first. take your time and let them see that if they help out it will get done so much faster. and dont give in to complaints, ignore them. i love my house in perfect order but i had to show them exactly how much i do by not doing it for a day or so. good luck!

Answer 6

pay them