If you need to get rid of some money send it my way. I am broke and my husband will not give me any money!! We have seperate accounts I am a housewife and he controls me with money. I am suppose to go to Vegas on Thursday for my sisters wedding and he will not give me a dime!! Help!He always pulls this crap. I would get a job but I would have to pay daycare , where would I get the money for that? He doesn't want me to get a job.
2007-03-25 12:13:11 · 12 answers · asked by Krista H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Abuse is a word a lot of people do not understand. Anyone who tries to control another is a manipulator...manipulation is control and control is abuse. It may not seem like this, but you are at the mercy of this man, and its not right. You need to remind your husband (and I use that term very lightly, he doesnt know what the word means) that if he pushes you too much then you WILL leave him, and then he will have much more a problem because you will be legally allowed to have half. You also need to remind him that when you leave him, he will be required to pay child support. If he doesnt want this to happen, then he needs to be a bit more realistic....he needs to give you access to money. He doesnt want you to get a job....that is also control. Think about this very carefully because, as much as you dont see it, you are a victim of abuse...you are a victim of a controlling man. You have rights....you are raising his children and he has an obligation to see that his children are well taken care of, and if you are the major care-giver, then that responsibility means you need to have access to cash when you need it. You also need to be taken care of as well, you need clothes, you need to get out of the house for a little while...you need to be able to go to lunch with friends....You cant do any of that because he is in total control of everything. Your basic rights have been taken away by this man.
You just have to be tough with him. Tell him this bullshite has got to stop. He has three choices......You will go out to work and to hell what he thinks and he will be paying the childcare expenses so as you will have access to money as you deserve. 2. You will leave him in which case he will be made to pay you what you deserve. 3. He gives you an amount of money each week that you are allowed to do anything you so please. You want an allowance for yourself, and you want an allowance to cater for the kids needs.
A person will only behave a certain way whilever you allow it. If you dont allow it, then he loses his control. Take away his control...you have the Law behind you. Make him see that him treating you this way will eventually cause you to leave. Shock him into action. Accepting this situation and complaining about it, will not get you anywhere. You have to start acting and make him be responsible.
Be strong....you can do it.
2007-03-25 12:32:51 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put your foot down. get a job and leave the kids with him. if he doesnt want to watch them tell him he has to pay half of daycare. my husband has been a real jerk like this sometimes so i just decide i dont feel like cleaning house, cooking or doing laundry for a couple days! some men are just set in their ways or treat their wife how their dad treated their mothers. some ymcas have scholarships available for daycare in exchange for you volunteering sometimes. you could even contact a religious establishment (church, synagogue) and ask them to help foot the bill for daycare. in the end i think your husband will see how difficult it is to have you work when there are kids at home. by the way are the kids his? if not get the kids father to pay for daycare if the kids stay with you.
2007-03-25 19:28:23 · answer #2 · answered by lori n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, but I can't help wondering why he does not give you money. Perhaps because the household budget doesn't allow for extra spending?
If you were really feeling downtrodden and oppressed, you would get a job working opposite him, so there would be no daycare fees. Then, you would either leave or make the marriage work on equal footing.
2007-03-25 19:20:18 · answer #3 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was sleeping with you i would give you all the money you need but that's not happening . Maybe you should start charging him for it . Best thing to do is get a job you have to live to . Ill bet he buys your clothes and food not to mention pays all the bills . You know what you really need to do? Work on EBay you can make allot of extra spending money just selling junk to people that way your home and he cant complain Really all you need is spending money for yourself that would make you plenty .
2007-03-25 19:32:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about this, but it seems like you married a man who is greedy and controlling with money. What is his, should be yours too. But that's not the case here.
It doesn't look like you will be going to Vegas for your sister's wedding.
If you knew he was like this before getting married, then you shouldn't have married him. Or, he probably has his reasons for controlling the income because maybe you spend it on stupid things. But, really don't know what goes on behind closed doors here. This is only your story here, not his.
So, sit with him and tell him (kindly) that you would like to go to your sister's wedding. Maybe if you spoke to him nicely and don't nag at him, he might give in.
2007-03-25 19:26:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of worrying about the temporary problem of getting to Vegas, you need to think more long term. Think about the next wedding, funeral, birthday, family reunion that comes up in the future that you aren't ALLOWED to attend because of your husband. Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? Like I've heard it said best when dealing with a problem, you can either deal with it or leave.
Since you have children, is this the example of a marriage you want them to have for themselves? It's time to start thinking about the bigger picture for you and your children. Good luck to you. :)
2007-03-25 19:21:11 · answer #6 · answered by VHagerty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why doesn't he trust you with money in Las Vegas, I wonder?
What is it about you and money and... oh... say Vegas?
Sorry if it sounds like I am reading between the lines, but without input from your husband, how do I know you aren't just a degenerate gambler?
2007-03-25 19:38:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just so happens I am loaded with money. I put a little something in the mail for ya.Just a few thousand to help out.Be looking for it any day now.
2007-03-25 19:25:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you staying with a control freak? Leave him,find a job and take your life back,unless you love the abuse.
2007-03-25 19:27:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off r u for real.
WHY did you marry someone who will not share....secondly..you are his wife...you get half....go to the bank and get into his account. Leave him...
if he will not support you why do you stay.
2007-03-25 19:18:39 · answer #10 · answered by Bobbie4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋