I just wrote my first poem today, will you read it and tell me what you think?Does it make since???

Question

The land of nod is an ingenious place,
Filled with creatures of every race,
As you close your eyes and drift off to sleep,
You’ll see this is where those creatures meet.
Creepy crawling into your dreams,
They’ll snatch at your clothes and rip at your seams.
One might be frightened to see such a sight,
But there are a few that scream with delight.
This place is quiet when no one’s about,
But as you sleep the demons creep out.
On to your bed they’ll bite at your toes,
Gnaw at you fingers and pick at your nose.

Hopelessly restless as you toss in your bed,
These visions will haunt you alone in your head.
Talking to yourself as you stumble about,
You’ll move to the light and try to get out.
No where to go as you’ve traveled too far,
Alas you look up to see the shine of a star.

The star shine’s so intense, as it speaks to the moon;
That you think to yourself, the end will be soon.
“The mourn will be coming” says the star light as day,
“Help this poor child, he must get away”.
“Nothing to do”, the moon shakes his head,
“This man is just lying alone in his bed”.

Visions of monsters too great to be seen,
Are filling your head, and yet you can’t scream.
The fear deep inside is welling about,
And your insides are burning with distrust and doubt.
The smoke screen is clearing and all will be known,
Through the dazzling light all will be shown.
As you run through the darkness with a chill in the air,
You can still feel the spiders swarm through your hair.
Then all of a sudden it becomes clear,
Red as blood the truth does appear.
In echo’s you hear the sounds of the voices
Speaking beyond and because of your choices
Awaken poor soldier, the day starts anew,
When evening comes we’ll be back to get you.

criticism is cool cuz i have no idea what i am doing. Thanks!!!

Answer 1

you wrote this? Its great! I like how you rhyme...my favourite part is...i dont know i love it all. its very fluid and the imagry of fear really shows. Its beautiful. I cant believe its your first poem ever. its haunting imagery is beautifuly written

Answer 2

be careful putting your work on the internet. people may steal it. You should get a copyright for every poem before posting.

BTW, It is wonderful. Very well done!(run a grammar and spell check though){the man, should be changed to boy because you say it is a child}
Now go look into the copyright!
Best of luck my friend!

Answer 3

I kind of like it. Good rhythm and rhyme. I can see it in an illustrated book. Keep writing---great start.
Who is your audience?

The site below has the best forum for amateur poets. I would log on there, they'll encourage you.

Answer 4

Yeah it makes sence but there are some spelling errors.

Answer 5

it sounds great, but i have no idea what you are talking about.... is it death?