I feel like I am an outcast. I do not enjoy the things most people do. I prefer to spend my time reading and learning instead of spending time with people or having drinks in bars. I do not find any joy or satisfaction in watching movies or television. I like to go to sleep early and wake up even earlier. I enjoy working efficiently and earning a living. I find myself becoming more withdrawn from people with each passing day. I do not care to partake in small talk, but I love conversations about important issues.
2007-03-25 09:47:25 · 16 answers · asked by Andrew G 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Sometimes, when you feel like an outcast, that image can be "projected" outwardly though not by conscious choice. This in turn makes it even worse as others can pick up on your dissatisfcation of being around them. My advice is to not think of being an outcast as an entirely bad thing.
Really, there's nothing wrong with being an outcast. I truly believe that if everyone was completely honest with themselves, then we would ALL be outcasts. However, such is not the case. Many people pretend to like things they really don't to fit in and achieve a very superficial sense of "belonging".
I applaud you for being yourself and sometimes I feel the same way you do. I like some movies but not all of them. Often, I find myself loathing movies which many others will love. Sometimes...this makes me wish I could have someone who shares these same feelings.
And that is what you need. Well, not "need", but it would be beneficial to find those who you can relate to more. And I assure you that there are plenty out there. The only thing is is that you might have to deal with people who can't relate to you as much so you can find them. Most likely, they feel the same way you do.
That said, being around people who are different is almost just as beneficial. But you need that balance in life and it seems like what you're really lacking is being around those who are like you...probably those who are more of the intellectual type and also fastidious.
By the way, I, for one, totally agree with you about small talk. I have another name for it but can't say it on Yahoo! answers.
2007-03-25 10:17:12 · answer #1 · answered by __ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears that you are very self aware, but do not have a real understanding of life priorities. But for some reason, you are highly self critical and very judgemental as indicated by self blame that I am unable to build a relationship. I see that there is a disconnect between you trying to compare yourself to most people in a negative light, all the while, you say that you enjoy working efficiently, likes reading and learning, and love conversations about important issues. So the real question is to ask yourself-- Do I really want a relationship? If yes, have I really tried to build a relationship? What is a relationship to me? Am I being so serious about life, that I am missing the lighter side of life and the fun of living? Is there a perfect relationship and what am I basing my definition of relationship on? If you can seriously explore these questions, you will find that you are capable of establishing and enjoying a meaningful relationship and are becoming less self critical. Also, that you don't have to spend too much time watching TV or drinking in bars either. Once you become less critical of yourself, you will be able to be less critical of others and will begin to enjoy life as a student of life, learning to live rather than wanting to be a master of life and allow life to flow it's course.
2007-03-25 10:06:08 · answer #2 · answered by Tigger 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is anything wrong with you. I feel alot like you. Sometimes I find myself losing patience when people start talking about 'nothing'. My mind is organized different, and there isn't a compartment for what a certain movie (that I have no intention of watching) was about.
Don't let people make you feel like you are supposed to want to go out and be around other people if that's not what you enjoy. Are you depressed? Hearing voices? Think you need to wear aluminum foil on your head to keep aliens away? No? Good. Live your life doing what makes you happy. I think other people need the constant companionship so they don't have to spend more time with themselves. Take care.
2007-03-25 10:03:25 · answer #3 · answered by bluefrog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be that type of person when I was young. Do not feel an outcast for there are people in the world who acts and thinks just like you. You can accomplish many things in life because you are focused. But as time goes by, I realized that I have relate to people who shares a different view of life. The more I know them, the more I was able to help them. When I was promoted to a managerial position, I changed my style and it worked wonders for my new job.
2007-03-25 10:09:16 · answer #4 · answered by Renban 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you might have been hurt by someone so now you are less trusting.
However just because you enjoy reading and not going out doesn't really mean anything. I for one can't stand going out and watching people make fools out of themselves just because they have had a few too many,but I have found friends that I can talk to about life in general be it the war,sports,or psychology.
My advice would be surround yourself by people who have some of the same interests as you and don't cut yourself off from the world.It's actually not that bad of a place
2007-03-25 09:52:47 · answer #5 · answered by southerntigger12 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well if that's how you feel you need to find someone who enjoys those things as much as you so you two can relate to each other. Nothing is wrong with you, you just need to find someone that likes you for you and your not strange many people don't like going out my brother is like that. I don't know if my answer helped you any but that's what I think you should do.
2007-03-25 09:57:47 · answer #6 · answered by amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, a lot of people enjoy reading and learning too. Sometimes TV can be such a waste of time and pollute our minds. Sounds to me like you block people out or think you don't have similar interests as others so you might not bother to show interest in them? I think you need to work on finding people who enjoy similar interests so that you can build relationships with people you find are worth your time. Good luck!
2007-03-25 09:57:42 · answer #7 · answered by Noneyabusiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with you. You just have to meet someone who shares a similar philosphy and with whom you share common interests. Now, in order to meet her, you must learn to at least begin to talk to people a little more. Go to the library or try doing your reading in a coffee shop. If there's a church in your area which sponsors activities for singles, involve yourself. Good luck to you. You sound like a very nice guy.
2007-03-25 10:02:17 · answer #8 · answered by Cherish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone that has similar interest as yours which will lead to conversation of important issues and work from there. Build trust from there and so on and so forth.
Some people are more reserve than others but that's what make us unique.
2007-03-25 09:55:18 · answer #9 · answered by Helper 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to be comfortable with yourself first. Like yourself, care for yourself. There is a difference between solitude and loneliness.
Developing your social side may take time and effort, do it in a manner that is comfortable for yourself. Join book discussion groups, take a class that interests you, you'll find others with the same agenda you have.
2007-03-25 10:01:02 · answer #10 · answered by ellie n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋