Do you believe that the harder a person can try, the worse things seem to get? Am I cursed with bad luck?

Question

I am in my mid thirtees. I can only say this,,,no matter what, I usually try to find the high side of things, like "that didnt work out because it wasn't my thing" that can be said for several situations. I have tried my hardest to make things happen, done all a person can do, short of holding a gun to someone's head of course, and to no avail. I am reaching the end of my rope, and I am getting deeper and deeper and I am tired of feeling like I am cursed!
I dont know what I ever did to derserve this, but I am trully tired of it and am not sure how much more of this I can take. It seems like whenever I get my hopes up,,,,I get more than just shot down, I get shot, dropped, and kicked in the head a few times. I have prayed, I have lit candles, and have even gone as far as to talk to some people about having a hex or cursed removed! I am desparate!Do you believe someone can just be born to suffer,always? Why can I help others, but me?

First off, I DONT WHINE, and I am not a whore, I HATE that word.
I have No troubles in my relationship, if it werent for that man, I would have lost it long ago,,,He does what he can. And I would concentrate on the good, but the good moments I have, are few and far between, that is what leaves me asking WHY????
I have been looking for a job for 8-9 months now,,,,NOT ONE CALL BACK or INTERVIEW!!!!
I have the experience, and am not relying on others-other than to hire me.
I am a good worker, I do know how to sell myself to an employer-I USED TO OWN MY OWN BUSINESS!!!! I have managerial skills, I am good with money and numbers, and I can do about any factory job you give me. And I have 7 kids, so, many life lessons learned, I am just tired of the road blocks. There is much, much, more-but I just dont feel it proper to share all my troubles. Im not whining, and I dont whine to my friends either, I just dont know how to make things better.
'Hope' is why I came to you all...

Answer 1

I can't really tell you if we are born that way but we are often products of our enviroment.
I often feel the same way as you do but have to take a step back and look at things again.
I go to work, go to college, have son (6) years, married for almost 10 this year and it seems to be great but everything that can go wrong happens at once, I get overwhelmed. I look at people who don't work and get things handed to them and that makes me angry. i work for what I want and struggle to give my son the life, I did not have for some rich kid to sit on their *** and do nothing... where is the justice in that?
I work hard but never seem to get ahead. The problem people get the promotions or get easier jobs and there work added to mind because it is easier for managment. Why not reward me or advance me. Sometimes I think if you are good at something, you are held down because someone else can not take your place and that means you are stuck.... BUISNESS PEOPLE TAKE NOTE OF THIS BECAUSE IT IS COMMON!!!!!
It is very hard for me to sometimes accept the hand I have been delt but I have the mind to overcome. I was born into a middle class family and although your parents want you to do better than them, they can not always afford to give you those beneifts. Sometimes where you came from is where you will stay anyway.
There is always someone waiting to knock you down or tell you that nothing you do is right. That person is YOU! If you can get past your self and feel good about you, then other peoples opinions and problems will not be your down fall anymore.
I think you need to talk with a doctor if these feelings continue. I am not one but it sounds like anxiety issues. I was put on a med to help me relax and then taken off once I was able to think more clearly. The wheels in my head stop turning at night and I can sleep again.
I hope this helps and does not make you depressed.

Answer 2

It depends. The complete lack of specificity in your post makes it hard to say.

What, exactly, have you tried to make happen, and how have you gone about it?

What, exactly, isn't working out for you?

What, exactly, don't you deserve and are tired of?

So, all I can do is talk in generalities, since it's impossible to say what's going on, without any specific examples.

IF your goals are unrealistic, or if they depend on others besides yourself, you need new goals -- ones that are achievable by you.

If your goals are already realistic, maybe you aren't going about achieving them realistically.

What are you basing your hopes on? If it's other people, that's your problem. All you can effect is yourself; you can't remake other people into what you want them to be.

If this all has to do with not having a romantic relationship, then, yes, the harder you try the less likely you are to succeed.

You need to focus on other things in your life, and when you aren't desperately trying for a relationship, one will come along at some point.

Being desperate drives people away.

Maybe come up with specific examples of the things that you're unhappy with, and can't accomplish, and try again in a new question.

Praying and lighting candles have nothing to do with actually accomplishing goals. You need to direct your efforts toward, first, analyzing your goals (making sure they're realistic, and breaking them down into do-able chunks), and then doing practical things to make them so.

Lighting candles achieves nothing but making the room a little lighter if it's dark.

There's no such things as hexes and curses.

Answer 3

I do not think that you are cursed. I think that you are a 'good' person (i.e., you help others).

I believe in positive thinking in some aspects. I think that if a person thinks negatively, they tend to get into a negative pattern so to speak. An example would be that if a person tends not to smile, sound grumpy and just is in a bad mood, he/she may tend to push people away or bring on negative feedback from others (and this also may put you into a lonely or more depressed state).

Things tend to be contagious in a way, also. If you are having a bad day and you pass it onto someone by causing them to have a bad day, they may pass it onto someone else (like a family member) and so forth. If you are nice to someone (even if you do not think that it is reciprocated), you may have just made their day (and even saved a life). They may pass that on to someone else.

I realize that it is difficult to see the positive outlook of things (and believe me, I have suffered in ways also so I know how tough it can be), but we all need meaning in our lives. For some reason, we tend to focus on the 'bad' things in life versus the 'happy' moments. I am sure that you have had happy moments. Think hard. Don't ever think you are alone, don't ever let people or things keep you down for long. If you get satisfaction by helping others, this is making you 'happy', correct? This is an example of a happy moment - treasure it! Even if you do not feel the satisfaction, you may have made the person on the other side very happy - treasure that!

Answer 4

Its just bad luck, look at John Edwards- presidential candidate. His 16 year old son was killed in an auto accident and now his wife has terminal cancer and has about 5 years to live.........and look at the little boy christopher barrios who was raped by 3 adults, tortured and then killed. What did a 6 year old do to deserve that? karma? just bad luck.
Theres no such thing as curses, hexes, etc , Life is about luck, chance, fate, etc.
Some people run into bad luck, the only thing you can do is keep trying, dont give up, even if you tried so many times and failed. Once you stop trying and beleive you are doomed, you lose at life.
Dont give up, keep trying.. God has control over nothing, you control your own fate..Theres no such thing as karma,, the rapists and killers of the world always get away and live to be 100 while the good guys suffer. People just run into bad luck or good luck, life is chance.
good luck, keep trying. Things will get better.

Answer 5

BUCK UP GIRL!

You JUST GET THRU IT!

That's ALL. And YES, I've BEEN there DONE that. Instead of a MIDAS TOUCH I had a CRAP TOUCH.

Not only did I have Sh*t served to me on a plate, but had my nose pushed into it, THEN had to eat it too!

I know what you're going thru & the best advice I can give you is hang in there. You WILL learn from the pain & suffering. You WILL grow. You WILL become a bigger person & one who's able to withstand life's pressures. You will also be able to have empathy with others who are suffering.

One STRONG CAUTION.... as you deal with things, don't build such walls & turn such a cold shoulder that you deaden your emotions. I did that going thru my divorce & various other trials & tribulations years ago. Now it's very difficult for me to feel things. Like love, happiness, hate; it's hard for me to cry usually unless it's it's a Kodak puppy commercial or something silly like that. I just can't get up the gumption to care about or feel things.

And yes to what trendset said too, KARMA is a big factor--sometimes you CAN'T change things so just learn to deal until it gets better.


pretty cool link about karma.....
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Answer 6

I feel for you and I do understand...I have often felt that way also, as soon as one positive thing happens I always look for a consequence or a what bad will happen next. I think it is just a never ending cycle, not to sound worse, but I think to balance out something good happens and automatically something bad has to happen to balance. Also look at what you might could be doing to cause these things to seem so awful when they don't work out. Don't put a lot of pressure on yourself or events that may not work out. Just put it in God's hands when you can't do anymore with it. And look for support from friends or family and if you don't have them find a support group in your area. Keep your eyes to the sky and never look back. Things will get better. God NEVER gives us something we can not handle, remember that, maybe he is preparing you for something real big that will be more rewarding than you could ever imagined!

Answer 7

I have that feeling often, it's like you have this little dark cloud right over your head all the time, I have been told by others I have the worst luck of anyone they know. But I was once told this happens to you because God knows you are able to handle it and is preparing you for something much bigger than what we are going through now. I don't know if thats the case, but I also feel I have been to the bottom, so there is nowhere to go but up. I hope things improve for you soon.

Answer 8

To be frank,,, yes, sometimes life is that bad, but one must try to cope with it because at the end we are not able to change a lot of things in this universe. A proverb says "Winds always come with the things sailors want least", but another one says "What cannot be fully taken, should not be fully left". Finally, a wise saying goes like this "You plan your future, and your destiny laughs at you".

The answer, overall, seems to me to be YES, but not an emphatic one, indeed. Some people do not face the same sort of things.

Answer 9

You might need a mentor. Find a person who has done what you are trying to do and study them or even ask them how they did it. Commiserating with other people who have failed will not help you succeed.
At the very least, find a friend who will be supportive or even a partner in your quest, so you can learn from each other's mistakes. Good luck.

Answer 10

Take that out of your mind!

Sometimes bad things happen to us to prevent us from making wrong choices in life. Sometimes these bad things happen to prepare us for greater things in life. Have you ever heard the expression "instruments of the gods are tempered in fire"? If you are destined for great things in life you sometimes receive the extremely hard knocks in the school called life. Learn from your mistakes and things will look up.