In my family...despite people being at the doctoral level and successfully within their careers for years, more attention and excitement seems to be garnered towards weddings. If an engagement is announced people are rapid fire on our family telephone network making plans. You can be in college and they barely ask you how your courses are going. They cry and carry on ballyhooing at the mere MENTION of a wedding. It's lost on me...especially if the person has been living out of state for 15 years so there's not the aspect of "my child leaving home"...further they have established themselves in their career and socially and those PROVEN accomplishments deserve more respect than the "i met a person of the opposite sex for whom I have affection and carnal desires"...especially considering the divorce rate. Is this culture love-obsessed? Love-starved? I mean, I suppose marriage is a god thing..and even that I am saying for argument sake...but is it the ultimate of accomplishments???
2007-03-25 08:53:24 · 16 answers · asked by kinduvabrat 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Of course not!
2007-03-25 09:05:08 · answer #1 · answered by wrangler 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, I think people are happy and excited because no matter how good you are doing in your career, a) they are hoping for grandchildren, b) they don't want to see you alone or lonely for all of your days. They are obviously hoping for the best for you, that it will work out and not end in divorce. People lead more secular lives these days, and you have to believe in *something*, so why not love. And everyone likes a good party, and an excuse to plan and buy gifts, etc. I think people are mostly workaholics now, and live for their work instead of working to live, so weddings remind you that family should be the most important thing in life.
What is sad is that so many people go into it for the wrong reasons, that's what leads to high divorce rates. If one party is lying about their reason for marrying, and that is unbeknownst to the other person, that person will have a false sense of security and happiness, until the other person's true motives or nature are later revealed. So there is reason for your cynicism about getting more excited about this than other "accomplishments", but getting married is still a milestone many are happy to have reached because dating around sucks so bad. LOL. And random hook-ups can even be dangerous in this day and age, so announcing that you are engaged is saying to your family, I think I met a safe person that I would love to spend my life with...so why wouldn't a family be happy about that. Now, they could be totally wrong in their judgement, and still more women are probably killed in the world (even in this country) by their husbands than any other single cause.....but that is not what they are thinking when they agree to get engaged. Hope this helps.
2007-03-25 16:08:30 · answer #2 · answered by Carmen S 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi I have been maried 38 years.I really can not say marriage is for each person the same thing . My personal feeling . is The ultimate accomplishment is a true and dear friend for a life time. being a commited spouse Is in the end a supreme accomplishment . As we all grow old beauty fades body`s ache and change . We walk slower , think slower . do not hear well.a loved one hears us even when we do not speak. Anticipates our needs .Sees us as person we were when we met.Keeps our secrets and accepts us for the flattering and not so flattering. Is there to hold our hand through sad, and happy . a friend for life on the path of life that has many turns and mountains to climb .all accomplishments no matter what they are end up being void, cold and lonley with out some one to share them. We have had money , lost money. lived in big homes lived in less then 800 square foot home. but we were at home together .have shared children , grandchildren , and many beloved pets .We have had steak, and enjoyed beans and were greatful to have them . We are older now and a tad wrinkled, all the perks of being older .
My husband my dear friend and choice to be with him was my best decision and or kids and grand kids were the greatest accomplishment. No one is perfect we are all with faults true love of another is perfect and will endureacceptance of one human being in all is a hard but worth while thing. Patricia
2007-03-25 16:19:37 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia A 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, I don't beleive that marriage is the ultimate of accomplishments. Although having a life mate can help out in acoomplishing things you desire. It helps to have someone there to lift you up when you're down, and give you good advice. I beleive the biggest accomplishment for an individual is finding their true self, and enjoying their life to the fullest, but you can do this without getting married. I do agree with the fact that so much hype is put into weddings. It can get a little out of control.When me and my hubby got married, we were determined not to spend alot on it. We only invited family, and a few friends. My mom and sister could not BELEIVE that I didn't want to get the personalized napkins, and wine glasses, and personalized cake cutters, etc, That I found to be silly and actually a waste of money. They asked permission if they could buy all this stuff to fancy up our wedding, and I said sure, why not? I just didn't see the point in spending large amounts of money for a twenty minute wedding, but if they wanted to, that was fine. It seemed to make them happier than me and my husband! . In the end, all we paid for ourselves was the dress. Our honeymoon was the same. Instead of an elaborate get-away, we went camping in Tyler, Texas! No, weddings are not the most important thing in life. It is wonderful to have a life partner you share ideas with, but there is much more to life. We both considered our marriage to be the beginning. We still have a whole lifetime of goals and experiences to enjoy! We are still both our own individual people, and we both respect that.
2007-03-25 16:09:13 · answer #4 · answered by Lindsey H 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marriage in and of itself? No. A happy marriage that lasts? In this day and age, it's definitely a blessing!
My parents (mom especially) are pushing me in that direction. I try to explain to them that it just doesn't work that way in today's world. My parents got lucky: they met and married 6 months later and have been going strong for 20 years. Sadly, my growing cynicism in the sacred institution as well as my admittedly unimpressive track record with the opposite sex do not project that sort of bliss for me.
I think that perhaps a generation ago, marriage was a big deal; especially for women. But in today's world, more women than ever before can get along just fine without needing the financial support or partnership of a man; therefore they can be more selective, or even choose not to marry at all and do just as well.
On top of that, I'm pretty sure our generation is a lot less impersonal than our parents' was.
I think it really boils down to the grass being greener on the other side.
2007-03-25 18:08:57 · answer #5 · answered by jermaine 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Definitely not!
The ultimate accomplishment is the achievement of your ultimate goal, which you and you alone has defined. If your defined ultimate goal in life is to be a published author, then your ultimate accomplishment is met once you are indeed published.
Unfortunately, our personal ultimate accomplishment doesn't always coincide with preconceived societal or familial views on ultimate accomplishments.
The clash of viewpoints may not chaotic but some misgivings and ill-feelings may result. In your case, just try to play along with the family re: happy news about weddings but at the same time, be very proud of your own achievements and continue sharing your success with the family. Sooner or later, they'd figure it out.
My very best to you...........
2007-03-25 16:19:20 · answer #6 · answered by Inday 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is A accomplishment, but of course "ultimate" means something different to everyone. I mean, if you think marriage is the end all, be all to human existence, then yes I guess marriage is important. I mean there is alot more to life than being married (and that is if you even want to be). What these people, I think, are really celebrating is "thank god, I am not going to die alone!!"...and that's if the marriage even works out. Which brings me to another point, people that are that fixated on marriage, if it should end, are probably going to be very devastated if the marriage doesn't work out.....
I think some people need to readjust their priorities.....just my humble opinion! Good Luck.......
2007-03-25 16:15:22 · answer #7 · answered by Mister Fizzy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, but marriage is a family event. A family can easily celebrate it, get involved, have fun. Your family can be very proud of the educational and career accomplishments, but that is a wonderful accomplishment for just that person not a celebration the whole family gets to attend.
2007-03-25 16:11:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think reaching your scary age and looking back at your life and seeing most of your dreams came true and/or that you are for the most part happy with your life is the ultimate accomplished.
My family is the same way. I'm about to graduate college and the number one thing on my family's mind is that now I can get married. I've told them my desire to go to grad school and to take sometime off just to figure out the next step in my life but they're not in total agreement with that. Half of them say that I can do either one while married or that I've had enough schooling and it's time I marry. It's really annoys me and adds extra pressure to my already stressful life.
2007-03-25 16:10:32 · answer #9 · answered by ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, marriage is not the ultimate of accomplishments, not for everyone. Saying that only assumes that everyone should be married, and that is not the case anymore these days. I, for one, don't really want to get married, and I'm a 27 year old female. I feel that there is too much to do in the world than be tied down like that.
Good day!
2007-03-25 16:06:26 · answer #10 · answered by dianah 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hell no!!!! Having children that grow up not to be pieces of crap is the ultimate accomplishment. Getting married just means you like hanging around one person and getting over arguements. Believe me, if a marriage works, one person is quietly miserable. And these people with 'perfect' marriages.....don't even get me started, one of them just hasn't caught the other cheating yet. If you think you NEED someone for your whole life you're just a weak scared kid inside.
2007-03-25 16:06:47 · answer #11 · answered by readmywritings 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋