ok SHE JUST CONFESS SHE CHEATED ON ME??????

Question

Ok well my fiancee just told me she cheated on me with her friend and sleep with him, SHE TOLD me she loves me and she wants
to make this better, i really want to make it work. I LOVE HER.
what do i do and how do i do it??
DO I TEll her she cant be the guys friend anymore, or is that something she should say to me????

Answer 1

I know it hurts, its happened to me as well. You can't let your feelings for her interupt your thought process. On this one, you have to follow your mind, not your heart. If she still spent time with him after sleeping with him, it means she didn't regret sleeping with him and she would have done it if she were sober. You definitely need to call off the engagement. Take a break.
Think about it. Before going to couple counseling, get counseling by yourself. You'll never be able to trust her again.
Good luck....I really hope you'll find happiness after this mess.

Answer 2

Two's company , threes a crowd. No woman sleeps with someone else unless they are unfulfilled, or uncommitted. get a clue dude, she just crapped on you. Why do you think she can ever be trusted again? She broke your trust and your heart. And she will do it again . Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Give her the road and find someone new that you can trust for the long haul. Single woman outnumber the guys like 5 or 6 to 1. Check out match.com or yahoo personals. They are full of nice attractive woman that want a loving honest guy. Because if you end up marrying her, at some point you she wiil cheat on you again and you will be getting a divorce. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Well commend your fiancee for being hones with you----but you should leave this relationship with her. Once a cheater always a cheater.

I understand you love her--but she did this once and she will dod it a gain. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it will happen.

She is missing something int eh relationship with you and she will continue to seek outside pleasure to fulfill this need. Do not wait 3 or 4 years on down the line when children and time have became invested in this relaitnship----get out now! Besides you will always have the issue of whether or not youc an trust her!

Someone is out there who can apprecaite you for you!

Answer 4

Well my friend, you just entered the "Game" of manipulation and deceit.
The fact is that no one is better than anyone else and that this is only a question of choice.
Anyone has the desires, the ability and the potential to cheat. One just has to control oneself for the sake of promises, respect and the health of the relationship.
When one cheats, it is usually not just for an apparent selfish motive of getting laid with the excitation of doing wrong, but most of all to send a strong message to his/her partner: "I am in control"
My friend, I know you suffer but trust me on this one: the only option is to let go, go through those painful memories alone (it will take time...) and find somebody else later, with the lesson learnt.
"When you lose, don't lose the lesson" Dalai Lama
As partners we all have the power to cheat. However, as attractive as it may be, it is only an act committed by a fool, an child-adult who did not grow up to a higher level, playing role games.
Take this experience as an opportunity to learn. Dump her coldly, avoid contact at all cost and ... enjoy your new life: Its an adventure out there !
Take care

Answer 5

You know honesty is the best policy but is she really sorry? or just confessing to free up her spirit?

Of course you love her. You want to marry her. But that doesn't mean that she feels the same. Even if you wish she did. Sleeping with someone else, even if she was completely drunk, is a strong pointer to unhappiness in the relationship. I don't know if you all are young or what...but you might want to slow down, reconsider what you really have and perhaps let her go.

I hate to be negative. But if she does it before you are married, she may again. Of course she loves you...but not enough to be monogamous. Don't you want her to be loyal?

I wouldn't let it slide. You will suffer later. Postpone the wedding. See what she does. The answer will come...just don't rush it.

Answer 6

GL with whatever you decide.

After you have been cheated on everything changes and it is VERY VERY hard to come even close to where it use to be.

You lose trust and faith in your partner and wonder what they are doing when they are not around you. Fact is it is possible to forgive but a lot must been done on her part.

The fact that she is your fiancee and she slept with her friend (while with you) shows that she doesn't have any respect for you and doesn't care all that much about you. Sure she "says" she wants to get back together but if she truly cared, she would not have done this. I realize people have urges but when you are with someone, that urge to have sex should be with the one you love. If you don't love them and find someone else, then you don't truly care.

I wish you luck and hope that if you truly love this girl that it works out and she realizes her mistake but trust me its hard to hear about it, you tend to think about it sometimes, and it is impossible to forget.

Answer 7

Understand what made her cheat on you. It's important to get to the root cause. Is it because she has doubts about her future with you? Get answers to some of these really important questions and ask yourself if you'll be okay many years from now. Will you be so resentful that you revenge later on? Need to get all things sorted out before you make any decisions. Good luck.

Answer 8

Counseling...get couples counseling. Apparently you aren't able to make decisions without some guidance so go for a professional and not strangers here who don't know you and for the most part don't care.

If you want to work things out, do it the right way...you'll learn a lot about each other in the process and be more sure of whether or not marriage is the right choice for the two of you...

Answer 9

Mike slow this relationship down...wayyyy down. Call off any marriage plans and possibly just go back to being GF& BF. She should tell you that this friend of hers is out of her life forever, if she can't tell you that, then man, her heart is not only for you but for another guy as well.

Answer 10

Of course you love her, but love isn't by itself enough. She needs to earn back your trust piece by piece and she needs to understand that this can't be rebuilt in one discussion. Obviously she needs to give up her guy friend, that shouldn't even be a point of discussion. My advice is to proceed with caution and when you feel she can be trusted not to repeat anything like this and she understands the amount of pain this causes, then you can discuss a marriage. Good luck.