Should I feel guilty if I had sex with a colleage after my husband had an affair?

Question

My husband had an affair for four months. After I found out about it, my heart was broken. I had to go through therapy and medication to be okay. I still resent what he did to me. However, I also found someone who cares deeply for me especially when I was so depressed. I have always been attracted to him but the feeling only intestifies as we share with each other's feelings and everything. We finally did it even though we both said many times we would never cross the line. I know we're both deeply attracted to each other but I'm married. My husband is trying very hard to regain my trust and I can feel it. But I feel my passion for him is waning. Rather, I've been thinking about the other man.

Should I feel guilty? What should I do?

Answer 1

Ask yourself why u r doing this.Becuase u love the other guy or u want to take revenge on your husband?what r yr feelings for your husband now?by any means..don't cheat on yr husband.marriage is not just going out.It's all about love..trust..honestly..loyalty and respct.If u dont love him anymore..let it go.If u still can work it out..then be brave and face it..u have to let one of them go..good luck

Answer 2

I know you heard the old saying two wrongs don't make a right
so now you just found that out. But your affair should give you some insight on what happen to your husband and HOW easily it can happen. What do you do now? you both should seek marriage couciling and see if your marriage can be saved. The person you cheated on your husband with is not a real friend he took advantage of your situation and anyone that helps someone cheat has little regard for anything. You also better understand that attraction is not LOVE and the other thing to think about is that any relationship that starts out with cheating never lasts.........

Answer 3

Yes you should feel guilty. Now you are no better than he is.

You had a spite affair. And the other guy took advantage of your situation too, but you are a grown up and you have to take responsibility for what you did.

Break it off with the other guy, tell your husband*, get into couples therapy and either save your marriage or end it in a respectful manner.

*the reason I said tell your husband: right now, he doesnt' know, and he is eating himself up out of guilt of his own affair. Awfully one sided, because at this stage, who cheated "first" isn't the issue--you are BOTH adulterers. Part of the intrigue between you and the other guy is the power of the "secret". Get everything above board, honest, and on an equal playing field....then find out where things stand with your husband.

Answer 4

OK. let just forget for a second that you have done some thing wrong. some times it does happened that u lose control after u came to know about your husband's affair. and u were kind a upset and was depressed so u had that thing with your college. and now u r feeling guilty.

no no u should not do that. see every one nead a love.

try n found out what was wrong between you and your husband .
second tell him u will forgive him if he stop having affair with other lady.
and third thing is both of u nead to be more interactive with each other. talk with each other for every espect of your life.


and finally if he still thinks he dose not want u then. break up with him.
and live by your own.

Answer 5

I think you need to end what you have with your colleague if you care about your husband at all. Even though your husband has had an affair, I don't think it is right that you went ahead and had an affair too. Imagine how bad your husband might feel if he found out. Would he feel as bad as you did when you found out about his affair? Make it clear to your colleague that you don't want anything else to happen and try to get some closure. You should feel guilty, but not as much as your husband may have felt. He is trying to rebuild your relationship, so you should do the same. Closure is the key!!

Answer 6

Do you want a marriage that all you do is get back at each other. Maybe you shouldn't be married to each other. Your hubby might have triggered something in you that you just don't care any more when he had an affair. I don't think that people should stay together just cause. What do you want? Yes you should feel guilty. Unfaithful, not loyal? Its horrible what he did to you. You did it to whether out of vengeance or passion it was wrong. You should be with the one you love.

Answer 7

No, don't feel guilty if you love this other man, if he is single. Your husband betrayed your trust and you've found that you don't love him as much and maybe not at all. This guy you are seeing, is he married? Is he willing to give up everything for you? Are you ready for that? Are you willing to give up your life with your husband forever? These are choices and decisions you will have to make. Don't rush into anything, but think all this out and see what you really want. Sometimes the grass isn't greener and if you choose to stay with your husband you will have to have unconditional acceptance of his past affair--and yours.

Answer 8

Well the worse part of revenge is feeling guilty afterwards. and especially if done for spite. But the best thing to do is talk with your husband and talk with him and see if both of you'll will ever trust each other, even though he doesn't know you cheated too. But if you still feel guilty and want someone else jsut give the poor guy a divorce.

Answer 9

I don't think there is any right or wrong advice for this sort of situation. I'm a true believer that you should follow your heart. There are some things that are unforgiveable. Your husband broke your heart. Ask yourself, are you ever going to be able to trust him again. . .Completely? Everytime you have sex with your husband, are you always going to be thinking about him sleeping with someone else? Be true to yourself? Do what makes YOU happy. We only live once. I wish you all the best.

Answer 10

so you and your husband actually do deserve each other. Neither one of you are honest and I wouldn't trust either one of you. ok so you had an excuse. I sure wouldn't want you as my wife because I would always wonder that it may not take much of an excuse if you found someone who you are attracted to. Soory - just the way I see you.