What do you do when things don't go right between you and your husband?

Question

Hello. I'm still having problems with my marriage. I feel alone my husband doesn't spend time with me. But he spends time with his friends all the time. They call he goes running.
I have talked about this over and over again. But things don't change. I know you can't change a person, but it's hard living in a state with no family or friends and your p.g.
I'm tried of stressing over this. We have seen help about this before. What else can I do?

Answer 1

Stop letting him control the situation/marriage, he's only doing what you allow him to do. It comes a time when you have to say enough is enough, that fact that he isn't showing any respect for your feelings & marriage shows his charcter. I know he's your husband & want to do right by him & the marriage, but it won't work with just you alone trying. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

Answer 2

I do feel for you and have endured over 17yrs of my husband dropping anything for his family or friends. I wish there is an easy fix but there really is not. Most times there has to be some kind of understanding and an agreement that you can both live with.
A night or two with his friends is enough and if anything I would seriously consider tagging along (a night out to anywhere is better than staying at home alone). Set aside a couple nights a week for just the two of you and do something you consider fun. Show appreciation on the nights he's with you and tolerate the nights he's gone without you. Find something enjoyable, that you can do without him and try and keep yourself busy. I hope that you can come to some kind of happy medium before the baby arrives. Once kids are involved, you'll need him more and breaks apart should be kept to an absolute minimum.
I hope you can come up with a reasonable solution and I hope that your baby will not be left out while Daddy has his fun. Keep it reasonable and make sure you go and have to some fun too (you deserve it too). Good luck

Answer 3

Go here: www.familylife.org The entire organization is based on helping marriages work. They also do "marriage enrichment" courses all over the United States. They say this about their marriage enrichment weekend course: "If this is not the best weekend of your married life, we will refund your registration fees, no questions asked."

There is also free resources on their site and a toll free number you can call and just talk to someone who might actually give you some good ideas rather than just what they think.

Answer 4

Well, you should've seen traces of this before you got married. I don't believe he changed over night. Now, you just have to hope and pray to God about this, and talk to him(your husband) but not before praying to God. Believe, and things would change. Perhaps, do you give him too much trouble making him go to his friends for peace and quiet? Check that too and make amends where necessary.

Answer 5

Try to do fun things with him.I hate to say that u have to compromise for a while.But for the long run..it might help u out.Try to bring the old spark back..Be a passionate lover...mysterious...full of pleasent surprises..someone who would make him feel like he hasnt seen enough of.Be sweet to him..dont sound like u r complaining..talk to him about..ask him if he wants to save the marriage or not..because u have been trying and now it's his turn.take care and good luck:)

Answer 6

I think you need to leave. You have exhausted all the avenues. You deserve to be happy, to be paid attention to, to feel special and to not feel alone. So, the next time your husband goes running, do the same thing but out of his life that really treats you as a non-entity.

Answer 7

This is such a typical and common thing with most men. I've heard this from just about everyone I've known, including myself. I know exactly how you feel. If I were you, I'd start joining clubs, exercise spas, and going your way a bit and maybe he will get the message. There's really no way to fix it and if you left him, the next man you have may be the same way because this is so common.

I think the intellectual, artistic types are more apt to be loving and content to be with their mates. These cowboy, redneck types are always moving and running around trying to be a good ole boys. They want their friends and family to admire them and the hell what their wives or children think.

Answer 8

Most women will complain, nag and generally show their displeasure to their husbands through behavior designed to "punish" them.

Of course, this just makes things worse, causing the men to look for any reason at all to get out of the house. And how can you blame them? Would you want to put up with that sh!t all the time?

Of course, you're going to deny that this is going on with you two. Because you don't see those repetitive "conversations" as the b!tching and moaning that they are. You call them, as you said above, "talk[s]...over and over again."

Let me clue you in, sweetheart. Men are not impressed with "talk." When all you do is whine about how we're ignoring you, treating you badly, not meeting your needs and not "listening" (read:obeying) you, we tune out. You might as well be speaking latin while scratching your fingernails across a chalkboard. We don't know what you're saying, we don't care what you're saying, but we DO find it annoying as hell.

Of course, this makes you sad, angry and generally unhappy. Because you recognize that you have no power over your man. You can't beat him into submission physically. And you can't berate and shame him into being the man you want him to be.

But there ARE powerful women out there. Women who ARE able to control men. Women who have men that are desperate to meet their lovers' needs, and who beg for any opportunity to fulfill their lovers' desires.

Not all of these women are thin. They don't all have supermodel beauty. Rarely will they have the sexual prowess of p0rn stars.

These women know the secret lies in their femininity. Not in their ability to overpower men's muscles, nor confuse their minds, nor crush their hearts. The secret is this:

*** Good Men Live for the Approval of A Good Woman. ***

Kind words of encouragement and praise. Small gestures that demonstrate your adoration. A hunger for physical closeness and sexual intimacy. These things are true magic for their ability to enchant a good man. No good man can easily resist them, and no good husband would resist the charms of such a wife. Once such a spell has caught a good man, he'll do anything to remain under it.

So here's the deal. If you REALLY want to save your marriage, you'll give this a try.

(1) Let go of your pride.
(2) Shut up about your husband's shortcomings and your disappointment.
(3) Start doing things that a woman does when she loves a man. In case you've forgotten, here's a few starters: Smile when you see him. Make sure he gets good meals at home and, perhaps, at work. Compliment him, especially in front of his friends, and yours.
(4) Seduce him. Regularly. Spend a small fortune putting together a wardrobe of lingerie. As long he gets to enjoy seeing it, he won't complain.
(5) Persist. Depending on how bad things have gotten between the two of you, it might take some time before he trusts you again, or truly believes his reversal of misfortune. He'll come around--perhaps not as soon as you'd like, but far sooner than you deserve.
(6) When you've just about wrapped him around your finger, apologize for having been such a witch. You might think that this would put you at a disadvantage, but it will seal his fate. You will restore completely his pride, assure him that this newfound marital bliss will last, and set him up to gently nourish and fiercly protect you as the treasure you are.
(7) Reap a lifetime of joy.

Answer 9

yes i know how you feel, I feel the same way you do and I wait and wait a long timwe and still no changing if you are not happy try counseling if he dont want i think you have to separated

Answer 10

I hate to say it but there's not much left. It looks like the big D!!