Am I required by law to allow my ex husband visitation with our son if there is no court order?

Question

My ex husband hasn't paid his court ordered child support in a month and yet still wants to see our sont every other weekend. When I told him I didn't feel right letting our son go with him he claimed I was breaking the law by denying his parental rights. There isn't a court ordered visitation agreement and our son has been in my custody since he abandoned us. Is what he saying about "parental rights" true or have any basis?

Answer 1

first of all, child support and visitation are two separate issues, so you cant deny visitation because of non payment.

visitation is not conditional, unless he has been proven a danger to the child(ren).

YOU can get in trouble for this. it really pisses off the court, and i have even seen them threaten to take custody because of it.

there is no "fathers rights" in child support
there is no "mothers rights" in child support
there is ONLY the childs rights.

Parents rights are for visitation, custody, etc.

here are the links you need for child support. if you have a court order for it, call and ask for enforcement. if you dont, GET ONE.

GET "Set Visitation" to avoid all of the BS and arguements.

learn your states laws about it; LEARN IT ALL. til you settle it, dont deny visitation.

CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATOR
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/

YOUR STATES CS POLICY
http://childsupportcenter.org/stateprofiles.php

ABANDONMENT (NO SHOW PARENTS)
http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/

NOT ALL PARENTS LOVE THEIR CHILDREN
And "RATIONAL LIES"
http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/child_custody/article7.asp

FREE LEGAL HELP IN YOUR STATE
(just click on your state to find contact info)
http://www.lawhelp.org/

LAWS
http://www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/statebystate.htm
http://www.divorcenet.com/states
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.divorcecentral.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/
http://law.onecle.com/new-jersey/ (change the state to yours)
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/unpaid-support/support-orders-enforcement.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.divorceinanutshell.com/
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-laws/state-child-/
http://www.supportguidelines.com/resources.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/links.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/laypersons.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/articles/news.html
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/
http://www.spiesonline.net/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html

STATS
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/acesstatistics.html

FINDING DEADBEATS
(and background cks to find them)
http://www.usarecordssearch.com/
http://deadbeatsnitch.com/
http://www.wantedposters.com/skiptrace.htm
http://find.intelius.com/search-name.php?ReportType=1&
http://omnitrace.com/Missing-Persons-Search.html?OVRAW=deadbeat&OVKEY=deadbeat&OVMTC=standard
http://www.discreetdata.com/index.html
http://www.identitycrawler.net/people_search.html
http://www.peoplefinders.com
http://zabasearch.com/
http://www.crimcheck.com/personalreports.htm
http://www.easybackgroundchecks.com/
http://www.abika.com/
http://www.freeprf.com/
http://www.efindoutthetruth.com/
http://www.netsleuth.com/
http://netonlineinvestigators.com/index.asp
http://www.backgroundcheckgateway.com/
http://www.backgroundcheckgateway.com/locate-people.html


FED AGENCIES
http://www.ncsea.org/
http://www.nfja.org/index.shtml
http://www.naag.org/issues/issue-consumer.php

REGIONAL FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT OFFICES
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html

FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/fct4.htm
http://www.divorcesource.com/WI/ARTICLES/beaulier11.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/opa/fact_sheets/cse_factsheet.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/index.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/faq.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/faq/faq.htm
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/grants/grants_cse.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/index.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal
http://www.fedstats.gov/qf/
http://www.fedworld.gov/gov-links.html
http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/pfs92/ch3.htm

SSI AND DISABILITY
FOR CHILD SUPPORT
https://s044a90.ssa.gov/apps6z/ISBA/main.html
http://www.ssa.gov/policy/docs/policybriefs/pb2004-02.html
http://www.ssa.gov/notices/supplemental-security-income/
http://family.findlaw.com/

FIND YOUR REPS
http://www.usa.gov/
http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/State_and_Territories.shtml
http://www.nga.org
http://www.naag.org/attorneys_general.php
http://judiciary.senate.gov/

CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
http://www.childsupportliens.com/

COLLECTORS
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/links.html
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml

TAX INFO
http://www.taxsites.com/index.htm
http://www.divorceinfo.com/taxes.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/advocate/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p525/index.html

http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p504/ar02.html#d0e563
http://money.cnn.com/2007/02/14/pf/taxes/do_not_miss_tax_breaks/index.htm?postversion=2007021411

REPORT DEADBEATS
WORKING UNDER THE TABLE
(in writing, to your local and federal IRS offices)
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/compliance/enforcement/article/0,,id=106778,00.html

SEX OFFENDERS
http://www.mapsexoffenders.com/
http://www.scanusa.com/
http://www.nsopr.gov/
http://www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp

Answer 2

IN general... most states say that visitation is NOT TIED TO support. In other words, they want to avoid exactly what you are saying... if you don't pay, you cannot see your child. Children should not be offered/ with held on finances, since it can be used as a weapon. Thus, without being hostile, I don't agree with you on this.
I don't agree with him, either. You are NOT breaking the law, because his parental rights have never been determined. Wait..I take that back.. a court HAS ordered child support, so there is an order in place on that.
Personally, all the issues are going to arise because there has been no ruling one way or the other. For SOME fathers, I say "yes, they have the right to see the child", and for others, who are abusive, dangerous, they should NOT be seeing the child. In other words..in my mind, neither mom or dad for any child should AUTOMATICALLY have rights, if there is a question of how fit/unfit they might be.
Do you have ANY reason to think your son might be harmed or endangered by continued visits? sounds like they already have some relationship. Separate that idea from the support question.
Above all.. assuming you both are willing to work together, for the best of the child.. sit down and come up with a workable plan... then cooperate by making that plan part of a ruling, to protect each other. Not everyone going to court has to be hostile. A valid court order, that both of you can live with, is for the benefit of the child and helps insure that both of you will work to meet that.

Answer 3

Look at your court order. It should discuss both visitation (I prefer to call it parenting time. I don't think anybody "visits" their children) AND child support. Everyone is supposed to honor all parts of the court order. If he is not honoring the child support payment portion of the court order then he is breaking the law - and you can get his wages garnished - or whatever you need to do. HOWEVER - just because he is not paying child support does NOT give you the legal right to deny him his parenting time. If the court order says he gets time with the child - then he gets time with the child. If you don't want him having parenting time - then you'll have to go back to court and get the court order changed.

Now - If the court order says nothing about parenting time - then legally - you don't have to let him see the child. But - don't you think it's a good idea for your son to have a Dad in his life? He may not be great at giving you money to support the kid - but - he is the child's only Dad - and for some reason or another - you decided to make a baby with this man. Everybody only gets one Dad. For your child's sake - please try as hard as possible to get along with his father.

Answer 4

Your child has the right to see his father even though you feel father shouldn't have the right. A judge would put shame to either parent who would keep the other from seeing their child regardless of unpaid support. Lock in a parenting plan to establish limits. The support issue is dealt with separately and could land good old dad in jail fast. Remember it is your duty to report the location of daddy ASAP that is your son's money and you the custodial guardian has a responsibility to collect that for him and to make sure his father participates in many aspects of his life.

Answer 5

He needs to pay his child support before any visitation. If you have not been able to make him understand this then you need to go back to court and get an order in your favor in regard to custody. It sounds as you may be afraid that he will abduct your son, if this is true then you need to explain this to the judge as well. Right now you have the law on your side, abandonment and a court order for support. Go to court and sue for sole custody and let the court dictate visitation. They will make him pay his back support and demonstrate responsibility in that area before they will allow him visitation.

Answer 6

Not legally, but morally.Your son has a right-a right- to be with his father. He will grow up feeling deprived of that father figure
in his life and it may well affect his personality and his future. The resentment you feel toward your ex is being vented on his
child. I don't think that is what you want.

Alright Rosey (above)

Answer 7

No you dont have to let him see the child..if theres no court order..then you have the right to deny him visitation.

But its not hard for the father(or you) to go to court and get visitation..then you'd have to obey that

Answer 8

yes it's true..

Do you think you are doing your child a favor by denying his father visitation... GROW UP... your son deserves the right to know his father regardless of your view of the man.. let your differences with the child's father be your differences.. instead of using the child as a pawn in your sick and childish game.