My husband and I got married very young. I was 18 he was 21. We both know that we married for the wrong reasons, I was going in the Navy and wanted him w/ me and everyone said it wouldn't work so we were determined to prove them wrong. Our 4th anniversary is this June. The problem is I feel like we love each other but that we aren't "in love" anymore. My husband says we are just in a rutt but this has been going on a long time now. We argue all the time about everything. We say very hurtfull things to each other when we fight. I know I resent him because he doesn't help me out at all and never has. (i.e. paying the bills, cleaning house, cooking, grocery shopping, running errands, taxes, any financial decisions) We both work full time jobs so w/ all my other responsibilites I have almost no time for myself. I'm an extremely independent person but I am afraid of being alone. I'm also scared that 5 years from now I will still be in this same situation...completely unhappy.
2007-03-25 07:49:21 · 8 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are no children invovled. We also have no major financial obligations so I know this is the time to figure things out before it becomes more complicated.
2007-03-25 07:56:28 · update #1
You both should try counciling it will help you to decide wether u should stay together or split. Being afraid of being alone is not a reason to stay together and will only make matters worse. if you are independent then being alone should not be hard. maybe you love him more than you think.
2007-03-25 07:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Geo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you talked about not feeling "in love" before you said anything about the fact that he does nothing to help you out suggests that perhaps you still don't have a terribly good idea about a good marriage. Don't get me wrong, feelings are essential. But feelings will always evolve over time. You find a relationship to grow in, and a relationship where one person has always done everything is not a relationship to grow in.
Get divorced and do not think for a second that you have now learned your lesson. Make a commitment to being single for five years.
2007-03-25 09:17:09 · answer #2 · answered by Millie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Salaam 'alaikum You decrease your gaze as commanded in our faith [Al-Qura'an 24:30-31] and you do not cheerlead as that's not some thing a God-fearing self-respecting youthful woman of the Muslim faith [or any of the Abrahamic faiths at that] ought to choose to do. It instills arrogance and promotes lustful eyes. A muslimah can in basic terms marry a muslim because of the fact God is familiar with ultimate....era...as consistent with the wonderful Qur-an. What do you define as general? in case you decrease your gaze particularly you will on no account be falling in love with every physique until eventually you're on the journey-making point which would be a lot later for you as you sound especially youthful. So focus on your study, do nicely in those insha'Allah and get your self a good occupation and then possibly think of roughly marriage. Salaams.
2016-10-19 21:36:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One you are not very independent if you are fearful of being alone. what would be worse not being happy and staying married with out help, or getting out and remaining friends?
married life is not easy think maybe you all could go and talk to some, do you go to church, maybe some there can help lead you in the right direction. Four years is not very long you need to sit back and see if you really want to make this work or if you are really ready to get out. I would definitely find a counselor to talk to if he wont go than go for yourself that's where healing begins.
good luck
2007-03-25 08:11:50 · answer #4 · answered by samantha_g_smith 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if your feeling this right now why stay there. Sounds liek a one sided marriage and your the one doing everything. The best thing to do is think real hard about what's going on in your life and if you want to go on like this. But if it was me and as indepent as you sound I would divorce him and move on and not worry about nothing but making yourself happy. BEcause a thorn will never come out until you pull it out. But want to chat more just e-mail me or IM me anytime
2007-03-25 08:03:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be in the same situation. I have been there and done that. Divorce is a nasty word, but it is many times necessary. Twenty five years later I am still happy I made that move. Sit down and talk about it, but do what is right for you. Not your spouse, not your family, just you. You will have to live with yourself longer than anyone else, so do what is right for you.
2007-03-25 08:00:30 · answer #6 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to do what you feel is right in your heart. If you feel like you gave it a try and it is unrepairable then you did all you can be sure try time away.
2007-03-25 08:04:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe should have a break from each other, to clear your head, or maybe try marriage guidance. have you told him how unhappy you are, if not then you should. good luck
2007-03-25 07:56:56 · answer #8 · answered by RACHEL B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋