I'm a male im engage to my girlfriend, but something happen last week, i believe she cheated on me with a a friend of hers which is a male, this guy likes her for the past 2 years but she told me she has no interest, I Don't have physical proof but she told me she ended up falling asleep in his bed because she was a little drunk, and he sleep in his couch, ( THERES no way that i will sleep in my own couch of my own apartment while i have a girl that i like in my bed. ) shes been spending time with him daily since that day, MY PROBLEM is that she tells me shes hanging out with him, but i when i asked her twice if theres something going on, she said no,
SO how do i ended with her? WHAT words should i use?
I'm willing to forgive her if she admits she cheated on me, but if she denies it i'm done i my doing the right thing?
I Need to know the words you will use on the conversation or what are the right words for me to say that way maybe she will confess to me?? PLEASE HELP ME ...
2007-03-25 07:31:02 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What if you are wrong? What if just because you wouldn't sleep on the sofa if you had girl in your bed that was engaged to someone else, doesn't mean he did...perhaps he has morals and values different from yours...
Perhaps she cheated and perhaps she did not...if you want to break up with her then do it, but don't base that on whether or not she confesses to something you don't even know for sure if she did...you two need to talk more about this issue and maybe involve a 3rd party counselor...
I think maybe she might be better off without you (there's a lack of trust there at the very least)...but then I don't know either of you or whether or not she cheated so I can't really say that for sure...
2007-03-25 07:40:20 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOAH! bro. DO NOT break off the engagement. Wow. Thats a huuuuge thing to do. I reckon you should give it a while. Until you find out if it's true or not.
Just put it this way, i'm not trying to be mean, but if you did break off the engagement, you could be breaking off the rest of a happy life. If she's not cheating on you, and you break it off, then you find out nothing actually happened, you're going to feel like a complete prick.
I've been really good mates with my best friend for about 3 years now. And i've liked his girlfriend every day of it. She's stayed the night at my place quite a few times, but i've never done anything with her. As much as i want to, i know that it would ruin three people. So i deal with it.
You don't know whether this guy is the same as me. He might well be doing things with your fiancee, but you dont know for a fact. I'd stay with her man. Think it through. Please. I don't even know you but i'm saying PLEASE! don't break it off. You're probably just seeing the worst of the situation.
Good luck anway okay.
Hope everything turns out for the best
Sillky
PS: Gratz on the engagement :D
2007-03-25 07:41:08 · answer #2 · answered by Zen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I would do is point out that if she is partying like that and staying in someone elses bed, then she is not ready for marriage. Further, the fact that you have not raised this important issue with her yet shows that you are not ready either. play the "we're not ready" card, delay the impending doom of the relationship getting serious (doom because neither of you are ready), and point out that her behavior is unacceptable to you. If you do not set boundaries early, you are in for one hell of a long and painful road.
For now, I would just put things in reverse, and see how she reacts. If she is seeking a way to get out, this will leave the door open, and then you can claim to be the good guy who is trying to be mature and work things out.
On the other hand this might serve as a wake up call to her to stop behaving in an immature way and get serious with this relationship.
Good luck!
2007-03-25 07:41:23 · answer #3 · answered by fromorto12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to at least consider that she may not have slept with him. You said if she admits she cheated, you would forgive her, but if she denies it, you're done? Think about that and see if you can understand the reasoning on that.
Tell her: "I have this strong feeling you cheated on me with ____ and you've been with him a lot since that night you spent with him. I don't want my marriage to begin with mistrust and deceit. That's why I'm asking you for the truth right now because I don't think I can go through with the marriage feeling this way. I can't say what my reaction will be if you have cheated, but I have to know for sure and I have to know if you truly love me.
2007-03-25 07:40:29 · answer #4 · answered by nobluffzone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may not have slept with him YET... but chances are she will.She likes having a guy on the side goo goo over her in case YOU get out of line.She will have a safety blanket and she likes playing with fire.Like an old preacher friend of mine used to say"rub 2 sticks togther long enough YOULL GET a fire".Tell her you have changed your mind, and you want someone who is willing to commit to you, because one of your marriage vows will be "do you forsake all others for him/her?"She isnt willing to do this and if you marry her you WILL be sorry.
2007-03-25 07:55:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask to talk. Tell her how you feel and be honest and if she blows up or does not want to talk about it. Something is going on that she does not want to tell you. If you and her talk things out...again be honest...see if the relationship can last. But from what I have read there is no trust on your part and no respect from hers. That is not a good healthy relationship. I had all guy friends who loved me but when I knew I met the man I was going to marry I broke the friendships because I did not want my now husband thinking wrong or not having trust in me. I respect and love him so much I did not want to jeopardize a good relationship. Be honest and be cool. Good luck.
2007-03-25 07:39:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Neither of you is even close to being ready for marriage.
Use your own words.
Admit that you aren't ready for marriage and now isn't the time to plan a wedding.
Better now than 7 years from now when you are married and find out that one or both of you aren't faithful.
2007-03-25 07:36:40 · answer #7 · answered by zaphodsclone 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You're doing her a favor by ending it. You never trusted her to begin with. Just tell her how you feel, you did a swell job here--use the words you've used here. Good Luck.
2007-03-25 07:35:18 · answer #8 · answered by bahjij6 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you have no proof and you are showing that you dont trust or believe her and calling off an engagement might not be a bad idea because you dont sound like thats what you eally want
2007-03-25 07:53:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her you want to end the relationship because you think she cheated on you, and you can't be married to a cheater....and even if she didn't cheat you still can't trust her, and you can't marry a person whom you don't trust.
2007-03-25 07:50:56 · answer #10 · answered by Mari76 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋