How do you turn a toxic life around? Not about religion...?

Question

I feel like my life is toxic. I'm overweight, I'm always depressed,( I take anyi-depressants-tried a million different ones...) tired, overwhelmed and in a rut. I used to be creative. I used to brim over with ideas and excitement about new possibilities. Two of my three kids are college aged-one left is a teenager. They all still live at home. My house is a mess and full of stuff I don't know what to do with. My hub is always tired because he has RA and after a days work he's knackered. I'm in so deep and I'm losing sight of the sky.

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I'LL CHOOSE A BEST ANSWER. THANKS TO MOST ALL OF YOU-!!-(1 ANSWER WAS DEF NOT WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR...) I APPRECIATE YOUR THOUGHTS. NOW- EENIE, MEENIE MINNEE MOE....

Answer 1

Ok sister...this is serious.You know this is SERIOUS...CHANGE IT YOU CAN DO THIS...You are sick and tired of being sick and tired......Well I don't know much about the meds you are taking!!!!!But I know all about the depression...EXERCISE NOW!!!!!!I don't care what kind of exercise......Get out of the house and get fresh air and breath a whole lot of breathing!!!!! Go and find information on Yoga,Meditation,Creating your sacred space....make boundaries for this space..No negative thoughts aloud into this space.....no interruptions while in this space and I mean none.Get some candles a nice stereo,some big fluffy pillows a real nice comfortable mat or cushion maybe a tv with vcr or dvd..lots of natural sunlight or the lights that have those special uv rays we need....get books on nutriton,meditation,yoga,healthy eating,self help books.Dvd's on Yoga,Meditation,start with the beginners edition.Look at Tai Chi....Keep an open mind don't tell anyone what your doing....This tends to bring in judgement from others you don't need...These new ways of looking for self, are strange and new concepts to some people .They may feed you negative vibes that you DO NOT NEED!!!!Then you need to decide how you fit this into your day..preferably when noone is around.... change in your diet alone can make the sun shine come back in...change in your exercise alone can bring the sunshine back in. The creativity is there,it will prevail...Cleaning the house,ridding it of all the junk we tend to collect ..will give you more clarity...your kids are now in adult hood and should keep there stuff in there own space not yours...They should be helping you with the chores.....Take them into your space and set BOUNDARIES!!!Clean up all the unneaded stuff,get all there stuff into there space and that is where it stays, or else it gets tossed in box in the garage, or in the garbage.....they have two choices, find it in a box, or look in the garbage befor the trucks come in.....Remember when Momma is'nt happy noone is.....That alone is enough insentive to want to bring about change...There are so many modalities to help you with this.The almighty super happy pill does not exist...A little hard work and some quick changes can bring you back into the light...Find your creativity again,and have a beautiful healthy happy home....You deserve...Now get out there and research.Maybe join a club or fitness center or find out where beginner Tai Chi classes are being held and don't be afraid in the great possibilities that are out there for you.....PEACE AND HAPPINESS BE WITH YOU ALWAYS

Answer 2

Well, I wouldn't call your life toxic. I would say you just need some ideas for direction. Here is what I would do:
1) Start in one room and begin de-cluttering it. If you are a hoarder or saver and just can't throw anything away, force yourself to do it. Make a pile in one corner for items to be donated to a charity, make another pile for a garage sale, and finally get a garbage bag and begin filling it with all the junk that should be thrown away. Then clean the room and place the items you are going to keep in the correct place. You must get rid of the junk or you will simply rearrange everything. Do it. You will be so pleased when you are finished. Then move onto the next room.

2) As for your kids. If they are still living at home and they are college age. Give them an ultimatum. Either go to college or go to work. They have 60 days to move out. That's it. You are doing them no favors by allowing them to just be bums and live with you. They will never grow up and be productive this way. During the 60 days, they will have a list of chores that need to be completed in order to live there. Be firm. Get your husband to agree to these terms unless you both want a bunch of 40 year olds living with you in the future.

3) Begin eating more healthy and walking for exercise. You will find that you will feel better and have much more energy. Before you know it, the additional pounds will be gone also.

4) Have a family meeting and discussion. The road you are heading down is not good for you or anyone else in the family. Enlist everyone's help in de-cluttering your home. If they refuse to help, do it yourself. Sometimes when people see a job well done, they get enthused about helping then.

Get back to being creative. Once you get your life back in your control, you will feel happy and positive again. Why not start on one room today? Get busy. Good luck to you, Sweetie.

Answer 3

Hi! You´ve gotten lots of advice already, and I won´t be able to beat that. Reading your question just reminded me of how I was in a big rut last winter ( a year ago). Tired, overwhelmed, depressed... you know it all too well.

(I´m presuming you have been checked throroughly by your doc, and that he/she has also tested your Thyroid recently. If not, do so. If that is underfunctioning, you cannot get further, you will fall deeper. It´s really worth clearing it up).

Yes excersise is important (I just read, coincidentally, a report about how excersise is actually MORE effective in healing depression than anti-depr. meds), and yes, I KNOW how hard it is to do anything like that when you´re in such a state. As the others said, do anything. Sometimes I make an excuse to walk to the store (buy 1 jar of peanut butter....), just to get out.

At the very least, sit on your porch / balcony etc. Esp. in winter, I NEED sun - at least 10 minutes of sitting and letting sunlight into your eyes (you don´t look directly AT the sun) makes the brain produce ..... "happy-hormones" (forgot the real name). Medical truth. And I really notice the effect it has on me, esp. 20 min., when I´m down anyway, in winter.

Now, what I actually wanted to say. What helped me was writing in a diary every time I felt overwhelmed. I keep it well hidden, and plan to burn it when it´s full, so I don´t worry about someone reading it someday. I write /wrote every single thought that came into my head. Sometimes pages of junk. After a while (weeks? ) I was better at identifying the problem at hand. And then months of writing about the same problem every time it bothered me. (I couldn´t change it.... but writing it down got it out of my system a BIT). I wrote the WHOLE truth, even the things I didn´t want to admit, and have never said in my life. Really, it helped. No, it wasn´t the only thing that helped me out, but it definately helped. I only write when I´m angry etc, so I realize it is NOT a good idea to re-read what I´ve written before (it can actually get me into a bad mood about something I´d already gotten over! ha ha!)

After a few weeks of writing, I bought a sketch pad and pencils, and drew whatever came out when I was feeling bad. I´m not an artist, and I won´t show these pics to anyone either. Mostly abstract drawings, but you see the mood. After a few weeks, the drawings showed that I slowly found hope, and was moving towards .... getting better. Really, it is completely unimportant what the pic is, if its good or bad. It´s just about getting the mood down on paper. I always felt free after finishing a drawing.
This was the first step to rediscovering my own creativity, which I had also "lost".

Do what is in your power, even if it just seems to be a little. The rest WILL come (even if it takes longer than you want.). Make small changes, plan ex. one each week, write it down. I wish you all the best and I hope you feel better soon!

Answer 4

I understand completely...been there myself many times..I tend to ease into the changes I want to make.. I to am over weight and have been sitting here saying I need to do something.. so when that comes out of my mouth I have forced myself to get up and I take a walk around the block or 2..I have even started a habit that on weekends I go to a park or Sate park and walked some trails.. I have now done this for a while and slowly getting into the habit of just doing something.. as far as cleaning ha you got kids living at home.. tell them they either start cleaning up the mess or when you do it hand them a bill! You said you used to be creative... you still are you just need some motivation...this is the perfect time to go out with your camera and take picture of new life popping up all over.. if your a good drawer..take the skecth book out and just draw what your inner eye sees..It has to come from you dear.. we can give you all the advise you want but until you get up and put forth the effort there is not much else to say.. Just get up and put one foot in front of the other until you have completed what you started! You can do it! I send you strength to help you on your way.. may the light of the day shine bright on your darker ones! Blessed Be!

Answer 5

Funny how people can drop a brick like that at someones feet with all of its expectation and all of its anticipation rathen that to actually say anything helpfull or productive...

These are the ones who think they are going to heaven because they helped someone today?

I ask you... do you feel helped as a result of that comment above?

Anyway... *Note... (this is not said from a religious place... I am not actually looking to preach a religion to you!) I do not believe in religion!

As far as God goes... God said that you are made in His image and that every man is given a measure of faith, a measure of potential energy to either increase or abuse as they see fit. Therefore God is not punishing you or helping you at all really... Other than He gave you life and blessed you with all of the faculties you possess to use to benefit yourself in any way you see fit. His responsability for all of or any of it ends there...

so what I am trying to say is you dont have to ask Him to bless or help you because you already posses everything you need to help yourself and don't curse or blame Him for your lacking because you had it and you did what you did with it in the form of your choices... That no one knows better than you do, in reality, that lead you down the path you are on right now...

My suggestion to you... is believe it or not. Dr. Wayne Dwyer.

The power of intention.

Go to your local library and see if they have a copy. If they don't buy it and read it and learn of the universe, it's energies, how they operate and flow and how we honestly do indeed talk ourselves right in and right out of every mental health state and condition there is and how until you actually fix your own inner mantra, your own inner dialoge and driven in expectations of everything you say and do... No pill in the world will ever do anything for you other than get you fat.

Yes another choice you make every time you stuff one dowen your throat.

Don't curse the darkness love... Light a candle instead.

"Mental health is accountability, responsability and honestly within the self concerning the self."

Good luck to you!

What God says on this matter to be exact is...

"Choose ye today life, death , blessing or cursing." and He also said....

"You will be held accountable for every worth that falls from your mouth."

That is exactly what Dr. Dwyer teaches... How to learn to speak. God created the universe through speech... and if we are created in His image... we honestly do create our own lives through our words...

Are you a negative speaker or a positive speaker?

and what events have taken place in your life as a result of the speech you call over your own live in expectation and anticipation?

Do you love yourself and speak good things over your life... or are you in a state of self loathing and self hatred?

Change your words and your life will change because the intelligence called spirit in this universe doesn;t care what you ask for... it gives it to you either way. Good or bad...

That is what that Bible passage means...

"Chose ye today... life or death, blessing or cursing."

Answer 6

Turn to the LORD and he will change your life around...