what do you do when you just got married and the person has no ambition?

Answer 1

"No ambition" is pretty vague. For that reason, I'm betting what you really mean is that his/her ambitions are different from your own. This is something that is usually at least touched on prior to marriage. Neither here nor there at this point. If you are able to openly discuss your concerns with your spouse, do so at once! Try to identify 2 or 3 things that you both feel ambitious about and focus on reaching those goals as a couple. Do not be afraid to assign specific action items that you are each individually responsible for in your quest to reach that goal - as well as action items that you are jointly responsible for, such as budgeting.

Step two would be to acknowledge his/her own ambitions which may be different from your own. If he/she is happy to sit at home on Friday night and watch movies, while you would rather go golfing or go out with friends, designate one night a week that you each do your own thing (within reason and marriage vows, of course!). It is good to hold on to your individuality even though you are now a married couple. Most importantly remember, his/her individual ambitions are as important to him/her as yours are to you.

If you each allow each other to be who you are while sharing a few things that you can do/be together you will be well on your way to a successful marriage. Your biggest obstacle at the moment is what appears to be your unwillingness to now accept your spouse for being what was undoubtedly the very same person you fell in love with and wanted to marry in the first place.

Answer 2

I had this happen and it continued off and on during the almost 6 years we were married. I eventually divorced him because I couldn't take it any longer. There were other reasons involved also, but that was one of them. Try talking to your spouse and finding out what hte problem is. There could be an actual reason that you don't know about. Suggest counseling if you are not able to get through to the person. Don't just give up on your spouse. But if over time you just feel like you can't work it out, you'll have to take a look at yourself, your spouse, and the marriage.

Answer 3

He (she) got married!! that's ambitious nowadays..:-) I think the ambition comes when you both share a goal or a dream. You have to find one that really stimulates yu both. And besides, be patient!

Answer 4

You should have known that he had no ambition BEFORE saying "I do".A wedding cerimony doesnt magically change someone into something they are not.Accept him as is, or get a job and support the both of you.

Answer 5

I presume the person to whom you refer is your spouse. I must first ask how you didn't recognize this trait BEFORE you got married?

But, by marrying this person you have made a choice to accept all of his traits - good and bad. You can encourage him and coach him, but in the end, he'll end up doing what he pleases or resenting you.

Answer 6

Oh yikes, you didnt know that before you married? You should know the person first! Motivation for what; working or your relationship! Either way if he/she doesnt get off that a$$ you will both suffer. So sorry

Answer 7

You should have thought about that before you got married.

Answer 8

WEll obviously she did NOT know that...the woman would have to support the man IF THAT IS THE CASE...BUT I just feel it would end up in a divorce....if he continues to lay around...but i do not have enough information...

Answer 9

For me they would have to work a job.
Too bad you didn't pick up on this before the
wedding.

Answer 10

Well, you DID know that before you married him, but you did it anyway.... so you deal with it.