at the mo, i am really confused over my sexuality........... two days ago i left my boyfriend - but we never saw each other much and when we did it was really uncomfortable - i left him for a woman/ girl and this woman/girl i have had an affair with before and i really do love her but im so confused.................. and yes i do have fantasies about other women/girls too. please help me i dont know what to do..... i really should tell my family, but i dont know how. i dont think they would accept it and i mean i would tell my mum but she relies on me too much and i think it might break her heart.....
2007-03-25 06:00:56 · 16 answers · asked by Kari 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Either you can build a wall of lies between you and your family to keep the peace or you can come out. It's your choice. If you do decide to come out, make sure that you're honest with them too.
2007-03-25 20:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slow down! If you do not know where your preferences lie it means you are going through a period of confusion. Your parents do not need to know at the moment so why do it with the chance of causing all concerned pain and distress?
If you have always had an open relationship and readily discussed sex with them, such as telling them when you first did it etc, then fine - explain your confusion!
I suspect few people have that sort of relationship so you are better not telling them at the moment.
Try and give yourself time and space to settle down a bit. Two days away from men and a brief fling with a woman does not a marriage or a lesbian make. You are simply confused at the present time and I suspect - hurting because of it.
Take your time - as long as possible - to sort out what your feelings and desires are. Then if you decide to settle down in a stable relationship with a woman you can consider how to tell your parents.
2007-03-25 13:10:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion would be to continue to explore your sexuality first.. make absolutely sure that you are lesbian before you take the step of telling your family. As you experiment more and learn to confirm that you are, consider telling your mom only. I know you said it would break her heart, but you are closest to her. I feel you would have an extremely tough time with it if you're sitting in front of the whole family. So break it to mom first, and go from there. Just a thought...
2007-03-25 13:07:50 · answer #3 · answered by gabound75 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion would be to continue to explore your sexuality first.. make absolutely sure that you are lesbian before you take the step of telling your family. As you experiment more and learn to confirm that you are, consider telling your mom only. I know you said it would break her heart, but you are closest to her. I feel you would have an extremely tough time with it if you're sitting in front of the whole family. So break it to mom first, and go from there. Just a thought
2007-03-25 13:09:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
this is ur life and how u feel u can make any decision that u want if ur family truly loves u they would accept ur decisions no matter what.... u cant force them to accept ur decisions and u cant loose how u really feel either so.... if this what u really want then u should go for it no matter what i know it's like we always have to please our families but that's not right... i say follow your heart and hope that ur family understands but if they dont there's nothing u can do about it, u cant make them accept it so just let it go and do what u feel is right.... it's YOUR life afterall and YOUR future, your parents were part of it at the beginning but now u are more independent so therefore u should have all rights to do what u want to do and follow ur own path... good luck
2007-03-25 13:06:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
well..being lesbian doesn't change who you are, I don't think your mom relies on you to sleep with a man. It's about your happiness and what you need to do in order to be fullfilled in your life. My mother didn't take it too well either at first but there's nothing that I or she can do to change the fact that I like the same-sex.
2007-03-25 13:15:24 · answer #6 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP ! do not tell them yet until you figure out what is happening with you for yourself. Get yourself together first, get some inner strength and support first. You will need it for the Homophobic attacks out there. They will devour you and spit you out before you can even find out whats happening seems like at this point. if you are not strong enough yet wait.
2007-03-25 13:10:33 · answer #7 · answered by stroke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if i were you, I wouldn't tell them. My best friend told her family that she was gay, and they kicked her out, took away her car, they don't even call her even on her birthday. And they told her she better not tell any of their cousins because they are embarrased that they have a gay daughter. And she's their only child. Then when they kicked her out, they packed everything and moved away to texas. they used to live in california. because they stopped paying tuition, she had to drop out of college and move in with her girlfriend and work at wal-mart. And then when her and her girlfriend broke up, she moved in with her god parents. So if you tell them, make sure u are moved out of the house and supporting yourself.
2007-03-25 13:45:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to come to tems with this yourself before you tell your family, it takes time but you will work it out, tell your family when your comfortable.
When i told my mum she just looked at me and said ' I Know' and that took me bout a yr to do
2007-03-25 13:09:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
know yourself? my longtime friend, had a boyfriend for years, but when she reached 23 y.o. she broke up with the guy and realized that he like girls. she started getting steady with girls, w/o telling her family, and they just realized that. now, they are lived in partners with my friends family under one roof. things comes out automatically.. don't worry.
2007-03-25 13:14:23 · answer #10 · answered by myself 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋