How do u handle a situation when u've thought u were a good wife for 16yrs only to find out in one heated disagreement that ur not?
2007-03-25 05:27:41 · 16 answers · asked by cashmere3636 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I no i've been a good wife because I stayed to "work it out" after numerous affairs, financial woes and emotional stress. We have a 3yr old ,a 2800 sq ft home which I manage to keep spotless, I'm never skimpy with the sex, I cook at least 4x a week AND I work a full time job! Therefore, I know I've been a good wife.
2007-03-25 05:44:51 · update #1
You "found" out???? What the heck does that mean? Up until then, you thought you were a good wife? Cared for your children, made a good home for your family, were faithful and supportive, and cared for and loved your husband? But, then you had this revelation that told you that that wasn't enough to be a good wife? This sounds like just a marital spat, and silly stuff was said. My ex once told me she hated my dead dog, that I'd had as a kid. She'd never even known the dog, it died before I ever met her. It was just said during an argument, and was so silly, that both of us had to stop fighting and laugh. Even people that love each other say silly stupid things during spats. It's just proof that we never truly grow up, and that even the best of us are imperfect.
2007-03-25 05:56:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is your answer if it was said in the heat of the moment it probably was a fly off the handle remark designed to hurt you. Don't focus on it, I have been very happily married for 15yrs and my husband and I have said some nasty things in an argument only to find out after that the other does not even recall saying it. After 16yrs he knows how to get to you and in a heated frustrated argument that is the objective.
You know that the best way to maintain a healthy marriage is communication, so talk about what was said and find out if he really meant it,which is unlikely. Equally the best way to destroy a marriage is to bury things and build resentment.
He knows you are a good wife and probably wants an easy opportunity to retract what he said.Good Luck
2007-03-25 05:39:58 · answer #2 · answered by strictmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others, one heated argument doesn't mean you were a bad wife for 16 years. Perhaps you've done or not done some things you weren't aware of? Try and work on the things you'd like to do better or change. Remember that you are only human, and we all make mistakes.
2007-03-25 05:38:57 · answer #3 · answered by Lappet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't change who you are based on one disagreement.Look at all the things you know is going good and keep doing them. Take the things you are not sure about and try to figure out what it is that makes you a bad wife.You may find that the things that were said was only said out of hurt or because he was mad.Chances are these things you are worrying about is nothing more than a difference of opinion.
2007-03-25 05:38:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Where are the items that money cannot buy?
You know , love and affection.
All the rest of your list can be purchased for some cash. I mean the whole list.
What would make you the good wife is respect, friendship and affection. All items woefully missing in your stated inventory.
Perhaps that is what he meant and you still do not understand.
2007-03-25 06:26:04 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes words are just that, words. In a heated argument, anybody can and will say anything to "get" to the other person. Once things have cooled off, and settled down, discuss why he said those things. Did he really mean it, or was he just angry?
2007-03-25 05:57:03 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, one lone disagreement doesn't make you a bad wife. You had a bad moment, is all...and don't let your husband tell you any different!
Whatever it was you said to him that you think makes you a "bad wife"----just vow to never repeat those words. Tell him you're sorry; we all say things we don't mean on occasion.
2007-03-25 05:33:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
selam aleykum, bcuz all muslims are and it is becuz allah (s.w.t.) allowed us; and now we are able to in basic terms think of why: nicely if u think of that a guy can do greater babys with 4 women u might think of wow thats mushy for the folk, and then if u think of a woman ought to marry 4 adult adult males u see there isnt the convenience like a guy might marry 4 women. in cases of conflict this could be an spectacular component to refull the inhabitants. anyhow we shouldnt ask to each rule, why? salam :>
2016-10-19 21:18:05 · answer #8 · answered by ramayo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't always take things said in a heated argument at face value. When guys are hurt, we don't want to cry. We want to hurt back.
2007-03-25 05:34:52 · answer #9 · answered by jax0817 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe accept the fact that either
a) you really weren't, or
b) it was said in anger in the heat of the argument.
2007-03-25 05:37:04 · answer #10 · answered by H.B.K. 2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋