How do you keep from beating yourself up about past decisions?

Question

I constantly beat myself up about past decisions of mine. I don't know how to stop doing it.

My ex-husband moved due to job reasons and he has sole custody of our 14 year old daughter. He left the child in the state where they live. His mother lives a few miles away and is helping to take care of her.

I went to try and help take care of her. I stayed in my ex-husband's house. Things did not work out so I came back. I live in another state.

Now, I feel sad when I see that my child is not doing well. I was able to help her a little with her studies. But I could not influence her much.

I regret my decision to leave and come back to the state where I live. She wanted me to stay for the entire semester which was about 3 1/2 months more. I should have sacrificed my life for her.

My ex-husband also said he was looking forward to meeting me.He was coming home over the weekend.

Answer 1

they only way you can move on is accepting that the past can't be any different. the only thing you have is now so do what you can to make sure the future is different. please don't focus on the it will eat you up.

Answer 2

Stop! stop thinking about it.I made a terrible decision, about a year ago.I've kinda put a mental block over it,now,when ever I think about what has happened,because of me, I just block it out of my brain,and stop thinking about it.I know it's easier said,then done,but you just have to try.
Personally,I know what I'm telling you(to ignore your problems)is wrong,and it would be better to fix what's wrong,but putting up a mental block,seems like the only quick way,to pull out of depression, or to stop the hurt.
Last year,I told a couple of friends,about something that was done to me,they promised not to tell,but they did.I ended up being placed out of my home, and into a foster home,which ended up placing my family in a huge rut.Friends were lost,family just up and dissapeared from us,money was/is very scarce, and not to mention the hummiliation and pain on my family.That is what I put a mental block on.Now,I don't think about,court dates or money problems,it all seems like someone elses life.It's not right,but it does make you feel a bit better.I'm not saying you should try this,because,you don't really think about your problems,but when you finally do remember you have some problems,and that mental block breaks,a whole set of emotion spills out.
I think if anything,you should maybe talk with,your Ex.,your daughter,and your Ex.'s mother,at the same time and tell them how you feel,the worst thing to do is to keep everything thing inside,If you do,the pain will always be there.
I know i'm telling you to talk with your family,when i hadn't even done that my self,but you should really try it,if not,go on your email and type a very long letter,expressing all your feelings,that delete it,it's temporary but makes you feel better for at least a week or two.
well, i'm going to shut up,I don't think i'm giving you very useful info.lol!so, good luck and I hope you feel better.

Answer 3

A mistake is a mistake. Learn from it that things done in haste are often regreted. Go to her, after you see him. Try to make arrangements to stay the remaining school term with her. You may be able to turn a topsy turvy relationship upright. Good luck!

Answer 4

You didn't know what you know now. All you can do is forgive yourself and do better with the knowledge that you now have about the situation. You sound like a caring mother. I wish you luck.

Answer 5

You cannot change what was already done. However you can ask yourself "what did I learn from this mistake?" and then "what am I going to do differently next time?"

Then make a decision to not make the same mistakes twice.

Answer 6

The past is just that live for today and make good decisions for your future.

Answer 7

those feeling are everyday and all of us have them. you may study to freeze them out with the help of questioning approximately something else. It takes a splash prepare. close your eyes and lean decrease back relax. exchange into attentive to your respiration, think of your self leaving your place, you lock the door at the back of you leaving all of the undesirable innovations locked interior. next think of your self walking right into a eye-catching place, you may sense the warmth temperature of the solar on your face, birds are making a music and there are eye-catching flora alongside your path. Now that's as much as you to create your happy place. Use your mind's eye to create a international which you will possibly % to stay in. inclusive of a cabin interior the mountains, decorate the rooms, upload human beings you're able to do what ever you % and flow there while ever your feeling detrimental concept push them out with the help of occurring your happy place and the folk who love you will constantly be waiting. there is no longer something to be achieved with regard to the previous, that's history and those human beings weren't properly worth it. yet you're properly worth it, be good on your self, exchange into your very own ideal pal and do something good for your self. wish that this works for you. i'm a psychologist, yet I constantly propose treatment for melancholy. it constantly helps to speak head to head with a professional in case you initiate feeling depressed and unhappy.

Answer 8

The recipe is: always 1.like yourself, 2.accept yourself even if everything dont work out so good..

Answer 9

learn from yesterday,
and live for tomorrow?