My husband is a very caring, fun loving, gentle person most of the time!. But he has a bad temper. He gets angry quickly but he forgets about it very fast, then he is back to normal. I dont mean to say that he is a wierd character, it's just that he cools down very fast. But when he is angry he has a habit of letting all the others know that he is angry - he shouts. This really drives me crazy. It totaly pisses me off. I have to remind him to keep his voice down etc. This is really embarrasing when other people are around. I keep on telling him about this, but nothing changes.
Any advice?
2007-03-25 04:23:54 · 8 answers · asked by sapphire_wisdom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I will assume that RedDevil has never had the embarrasement of being on the recieving end of that humilation or she might feel differently. I am married to a man that does the exact same thing, and the bad part of it is I usually don't even know why he is mad. He has done this throughout a 22 year marriage, and even though he always apoligizes it doesn't make any any less embarassing. I will be reading your answers to see if there is a way to fix this problem without killing him first. Ha Ha
2007-03-25 05:44:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Growing up, my father was EXACTLY the same way. It didn't bother my step-mother as much as it seems to bother you. This is your husband, I would suggest getting some counseling. You are in a committed marriage, you both need to be happy. If he can get some assistance to controlling this quick- upset - and - get - over - it - faster - anger, then WONDERFUL.
My dad's anger was usually focused on the fact that everyone seemed to dump their CRAP on me. It was resolved very well the day I moved out. He is happier in that sense. So am I.
In other words, I think that root of why your husband does this needs to be figured out. More then likely he is an extremely kind person, has a big heart, gets upset but realizes quickly (because he is such a great person) there is no sense in being upset so he calms down right away. Hopefully you can look at it this way a little. At least he realizes it quickly. My husband has had such issues like this as well, he has SO calmed down since we got married though. :) He rarely gets upset etc.
I think you got a great man though, I am happy for you. Please check out the marriage counseling, it is not always a bad thing to do so. (Certainly not in this case)
Good luck and have a great day! I would love to know how things work out if you would like :)
Kristy
2007-03-25 11:47:48 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully, it doesn't seem that bad to me. It's almost as if the shouting helps him defuse his anger....and while it's embarassing, at least he doesn't hold on to his bad mood for DAYS...that is very hard to deal with and makes everyone around him miserable. I think I'd rather have the shouter than the pouter.....so if you are embarassed, turn it around if someone says something to you. Say to them, "Oh, that's just what he does when he gets upset, the beauty of it is that once he let's it out, he calms right down, gotta love a man who gets over things that quickly!"
I'm sure that's not what you were looking for, but I didn't have any other advice.
2007-03-25 11:58:07 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When there are other people around just walk away from his area and let him stand there alone.Hes just doing it for the attention that bhe thinks hes right and is trying to make his opinion heard thus showing what a nerd he really is. Ignore him and sooner or later he will get the picture and just how annoying his actions really are. Good luck
2007-03-25 11:57:55 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need couples counseling, my father was like that for several years, he was a mostly great father and a mostly great husband but when his temper went off, dude what a jerk, my mother died young because she put up with it for way to long before going into counseling. Things got so much better once they were in a group.
(he never hit her just broke her heart)
hope this helps.
2007-03-25 12:29:45 · answer #5 · answered by Blessed Rain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him if he doesn't change that temper that he was going to lose you. That what would tell him sweetie no girl needs a guy like that. Trust me, good luck. :)
2007-03-25 12:23:16 · answer #6 · answered by ~Sarah~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are not a child, and he is not your father and that you will not tolerate that behaviour or be spoken that way. If he is putting you down, and belitteling you, soon you will lose love for him and respect.
2007-03-25 12:00:52 · answer #7 · answered by chez006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sign him up for a class on anger management.
2007-03-25 16:24:11 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋