since my husband left his behavior is totally different not only to me but to our children as well. our daughters have always been daddy's little girls but now that he's on his own, he just doesn't have time for them. always in a rush to get to work or go to a meeting or too tired to even talk. understand that our daughters are all grown, 4 of them our youngest turning 18 in two weeks however daddy has always been there to talk to or do family outings with the whole nine yards now he's so distant. one daughter did tell him if he ever got serious with someone else she would not accept her, do you think this is why he's behaving so strange. he has been confronted by them and he says he is not seeing anyone maybe to spare their feelings, or maybe he just doesn't want a relationship right now he is very active in his work and is in a recovery program. does he just need time or can we expect these changes to last?
2007-03-25 04:13:02 · 10 answers · asked by MIMKA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
in the previous question "is he seeing someone else" it was not mentioned that i'm newly seperated and no papers have been filed for divorce on either part
this is a very sudden and unexplained event in our family as a whole. we have been married 29 yrs. my life just turned upside down overnite literally i'm still in state of shock
2007-03-25 05:13:27 · update #1
u need evidence,follow his movements u could work as a team then u know for sure.
2007-03-25 04:19:05 · answer #1 · answered by pinklady25 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First it is not your daughters business if their father "dates" or not. He is the parent regardless of how old they are and you need to support that position.
You said that he is in a "recovery program" perhaps he is working on bettering himself so that he can be an even better father for his kids.
He may also feel distant from the kids due to an attitude that you may be subconsciously putting out and the kids feel protective of you. Have they said that if you date they will not accept the person you date? If yes then regardless of how old they are some lessons in respect are desperately in order.
Does he have to pay spousal or child support? He may be working more because he now not only has to support his separate residence but part of another as well?
I would encourage the kids to talk to him and tell him not that they are mad at him but that they love him and miss some of the things that they used to have together. They also should try and schedule time with him so that he can see that they respect his life and that he is an adult, entitled to his own interests now that they are grown but that he can make time for them.
2007-03-25 11:24:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Every since my parents announced they were getting a divorce my father has been distant. He was the one in the wrongdoing and lives on his own now. We see more of my mother and my mom is the type to tell everyone everything she's feeling (except my dad, which was one of the issues)
I think that my father feels like we are against him.
I know that you are concerned about your children but you have to let them take their own course. If they want more contact with their father, encourage it but don't force it on either end. Just advise them to talk to their father about what they are feeling.
I just make sure that my daddy knows that I love him and that is the most I can do.
About the dating someone issue...both you and your daughters need to leave that alone. He is allowed to date and so are you despite how your children feel.
2007-03-25 11:43:28 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah C 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe your husband has been advised by a counselor to keep a distance, until he gets his own life back together. However, your children should not be shut out. They need to know why Dad isn't their for them anymore. I would find out where his recovery program is, and take a chance on going their. See if anyone can help you, and your children find out what is going on.
2007-03-25 11:24:52 · answer #4 · answered by lariat_sonata 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, seperation usually isn't a sign that somebody isn't thinking of seeing somebody(s) else.
You don't hear about people splitting up to enter monastaries very often.
2007-03-25 12:33:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes probably confused and has someone he is seeing but isnt serious...but the kids in his eyes are grown and dont really need daddy the way they use to. ..but Good luck
2007-03-25 11:28:52 · answer #6 · answered by machele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes any time a behavior has changed you need to look at why, in this case it does sound like he may be guilty.maybe a co-worker,check into it,or just ask his straight out
2007-03-25 11:19:54 · answer #7 · answered by kat_luvr2003 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like he is having his mid-life crisis and has
other women on his mind..
2007-03-25 11:23:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You said since he has left..Are you divorced and if so why do you care what he is doing..
2007-03-25 11:23:53 · answer #9 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you have seriously pissed him off. Give him some time.
2007-03-25 11:22:34 · answer #10 · answered by bill a 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋