Having a baby at the age of 19. what do you think?

Question

I'm 18 at the moment, in a steady relationship and not pregnant! But i'm feeling really broody and would love to have a baby. If i got pregnant within the next few months it would make me 19 when i have a baby. Do you think that's ok? or do you think i'm too young?

Answer 1

It depends on your and your bf's maturity, as well as on your financial situation, to some degree. You don't have to be rich or anywhere near that to have a baby, but you do have to be aware that one huge initial expense will be giving birth ($6k and over at a hospital, or $2k and over with a midwife, find out what rates your local hospital/midwife charges), so you'd have to know whether your insurance covers that or whether you've saved up for that. Then, odds are you'll want to stay home with the baby for at least the first year, and quite possibly longer, so your bf would have to earn a living for the 3 of you, so think $25k/year and up... and you probably don't want him working two jobs in order to support you and the baby because he should spend some time with you and the baby as well. If you plan on working anyway... child care is expensive, and so is having two cars, etc... unless you make a fair amount of money, odds are staying at home is not any worse financially than working.

And then there's the issue of how well you and your bf communicate... how well you agree on issues and such. It's easy to get along with someone when life is easy, but when financial stress comes along, and a baby and sleepless nights and tons of responsibilities, will you still get along well? It's not just about your current opinions on things, because even if you agree on everything now, one of you might change their mind and then you'll have to be able to talk about things and figure out a solution anyway. Also, consider getting married first. It's a sign of commitment, plus it gives certain financial advantages/legal protections.

Finally... are you sure you want a baby, or are you just bored and need a hobby, or a dog or something? Do lots of research about the realities of having a baby, and don't just look at women who somehow manage to juggle having a great career and kids at the same time... it might work for some, but the first three months of my pregnancy I spent 13+ hours asleep in bed (and no, I'm not anemic) and was nauseous the rest of the time, as well as not being able to think very well, and mood swings... I totally dropped school because I just couldn't handle the combination being pregnant and other things, even though my husband did almost all the housework. In other words, don't assume things will be easy! I'm currently somewhat more like my normal self, but I'm still more tired than usual, etc. I'm almost 5 months pregnant now, so things will probably get rougher again late in pregnancy and after the baby is born. It's fine to ask other people for help, but don't expect your parents to help with the baby all the time... (I don't know whether you were planning on them helping).

Good luck.

Answer 2

I have a few questions for you...

1) Is your partner ready to be married? You don't have to be married, but if he isn't even thinking about marrying you then you may have a problem. If you're going to have a baby you'd want a long term solid commitment whether that means marriage, engagement, or promise rings.

2) Are you living on your own or capable living on your own? Too many younger mothers make the mistake of having a child and then not being able to financially support the baby.

3) Can you get your own health insurence for yourself and the baby? I have nothing against usuing state aid to get on your feet but you should never EVER plan a baby if you know that you'd have to get state aid to support it.

4) Have you done all that you want to do in life? Do you want to go to college? Do you want to go travel the world? That becomes near impossible if you want to be a good parent no matter what age you are. Just keep that in mind.

5) Do you take good care of yourself and your partner? If you can't do that then it'll be very difficult for you to care for a demanding baby.

Even if you and your partner answered "yes" to these questions I would still suggest waiting. You said that you are feeling "broody and would love to have a baby" I'm going to be blunt here...that sounds immature. People should not have babies because they are broody. I know that you probably know this but babies are a lot of hard work and not all fun and games.

Take time and think it through long and hard. This is a total life changing event and you want to make sure you are 150% ready before you take that step. Good luck!

Answer 3

I was 19 when I had my son and I wouldn't change anything about it....except my age..lol. Don't be in a rush to get pregnant or anything like that. You're young and this is time to get your life together. Plus you're not married and just because you're in a steady relationship now doesn't mean that you always will be with this person. I'd wait till you were married. Having a child on your own will be a bit more difficult than if you had someone there to help you. Enjoy your life and do the things that will be a bit harder to do when you have a child, like go to college. I'm not saying that kids are going to destroy your life and tie you down, but they will make it a bit more difficult to do somethings you might want to do.

Answer 4

I was 17 when I had my first daughter, 19 when I had my second daughter and I will be 20 when my little boy is due. It all depends on if you are ready. No more parties, going out with friends. There is alot you must give up being a young mom, but it is worth every bit of it!!! I was married before my first daughter was born and still with the same guy. Just make sure that you can give your baby the best life possible. Good luck hunny!!!

Answer 5

I'm 19 and pregnant with my first baby. My fiance and I are totally secure financially, and also in our relationship too. Are you in a good financial position to have a child? In stable relationship? Do you have somewhere to raise the baby? These are all very important facts. It's a very personal decision and one which you should both make together. I know there will be people out there who say i'm too young. I know differently, and know my partner and I will make great parents. Think about it carefully, it will change everything, good luck x

Answer 6

You are far too young still to be thinking about having a baby...your not even 21 yet and have so much yet left to experience a baby would just get in the way...trust me I know I had my 1st at 18 and really wish i had waited

Answer 7

WELL I AM IN THE SAME BOAT I GUESS I AM 18 AN IF I GET PREGNANT IT THESE FEW MONTHS I WILL BE 19 WHEN I HAVE MINE AN WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT IT 4 SO LONG I COULDN'T BE MORE SURE BUT I REALLY THINK ITS UP 2 U AN YOUR BOYFRIEND EVERY ONE DEALS WIT DIFFERENT SITUATIONS DIFFERENTLY SO IF U R ABSOLUTELY SURE THIS IS WHAT U WANT AN YOU HAVE THOUGHT THE WHOLE THING THROUGH GOOD AN BAD AN KNOW U WONT HAVE 2 BE TOTALLY DEPENDANT ON ANYONE 4 ANYTHING U SHOULD DEFINATELY DO IT GOOD LUCK IN YOUR DECISION

Answer 8

Well I am 21 and I am 6 months pregnant. Most of my friends had baby's younger than me and they did just fine.
I dont go much by age if you are too young to have a baby (unless your like young). I look at it in many other ways. Do you work? does your boyfriend work? are your jobs steady? who do you live with?
Their are many factors to look at when pregnancy and motherhood occurs.

Answer 9

You've got alot of time to even think about having children. Wait. Live your life first, complete schooling, think about a career, and see how your relationship grows, have fun with your friends, travel, and get married before even thinking about starting a family. Having a child so very young is extremely hard, I speak from experience.

Answer 10

I think it would be better to get your school stuff over with first, you don't need a baby to worry about while you're still in college (if you're going). I don't want children unless I'm positive I can fully support them, not just now but in the future. So I'd say wait. I think 25 is a good age.