Do guys actually become disinterested in sex?

Question

We have been married 14 years, and in the last 3 years, I am "lucky" once every other month (maybe 6x a year). He states he is just not interested in "it" anymore with anyone. He is in his mid 40's. Please help?

Answer 1

I asked my grandfather: When does sex end?"... to which he quickly responded: "I dunno Mijo, but it's gotta be sometime after 72!"

Realities are, men stop enjoying or lose interest for a variety of reasons:
1) decreased testosterone levels
2) being with same partner over long period
3) other women in picture
4) plumbing weakens- penis is a hydraulic system with valves. At times the system weakens. he should consult a urologist or other MD
5) loss of interesting spouse- spouse ceases to present herself as sensual and appealing via remaining interesting, attractive, a good conversationalist, etc. man also can become boring, which can result in wife no longer communicating as much.
6) depression or other mental health condition that preoccupies
7) stress in daily life

the problems are numerous, but these are the main ones. As for the women whose been married 5 times above, and each one lasts 3-4 years-- I would strongly suspect she may have her own issues which interfere with commitment- ignore that advice!

Answer 2

Well I would bet that if he went to a doctor that he would find out he had low testosterone. I had the same problem and about the same age and I lost all interest in sex. I went to the doctor and he gave me a shot and I thought I was 18 again. Even if he doesn't want to go for the sex he should go for the fact that he will age a lot faster if he doesn't get it fixed. Now I give myself a shot a couple times a month and I am in seventh heavan and my wife thinks she is the luckiest girl in the world

Answer 3

If hes in his mid 40s, he may be having problems "getting it up" and he should talk to a doctor is hes lost it completely.

You can express your concern to him, and tell him its completely normal for older men to have these issues and that its nothing to be concerned about, but you would like to have a healthy sex life with him.

And you could also suggest spicing things up a little, experimenting, asking him if he has any fantasies he wants to fufill, or maybe watching porn together will get his mojo going. Just so it doesnt seem like your putting all the blame on his manhood not working.

Answer 4

Most definately, even those of us with the strongest sexual instincts can feel dead sexually when other emototional needs aren't getting met in our marriage. We lose about 2% per year of our testosterone ... starting at age 40. At that time of life, when our emotional needs start to overtake our sexual needs, we need a revival in our marriage ... a new depth of intimacy that is characterized by more openness and honesty in our primary relationship.

Because men spend most of our lives disconnecting from our feelings in order to deal effectively with the external world, we really need women to help us through this stage of our lives. If our wives don't figure us out in time, we often end up in affairs with women who give us the emotional refuge that we don't even realize we need.

Hence, the mid-life crisis has taken most of my friends from their wives and children. Like sheep, we seem go to any woman who meets our needs for communication, recreation, honesty, openness and converstation. The sex is an afterthought. We start in what seems congenial friendships that develop emotionally, over time, into romantic affairs. That's when the sexual needs become unbearable again.

The 40s must be the most critical time for husbands and wives ... to discover a sense of 'oneness'. But what seems to happen - more often than not - is that we end up feeling dried up in our marriages until some other woman comes along to wet down our hearts again.

This isn't excluxievely a male problem. It happens just as often with women. Actually, the incedents of female infedelity are highest in their 40s.

This can be the most wonderful, or the most horrible time of your marriage. Its definately the most dangerouse.

Answer 5

Absolutely,sorry to say,At around the age of forty the male doesn't lose interest,they lose the ability to get and keep an erection that is strong enough to satisfy his lover and it is embarrassing to him,So he just makes excuses like he doesn't want to or something to that effect .And he just will let it be that way without asking help from a Doctor or anyone else.I know this from my own past!It will ruin a marriage if it's a big thing to you,You should talk to your DR.before it ruins yours.He doesn't mean to be this way,it's just the way it is And it isn't fair to you!

Answer 6

yup for a variety of reasons. My husband is more interested in watching tv and playing spades on line. Unless of course its 3 AM and I have to get up early and I'm in a deep sleep. I guess that's his turn on to wake me up and say hey I'm ready. So count yourself lucky 6x a year. I'm lucky 1 or 2x a year because I've had to start cutting him off because I would like to have it when I enjoy it too. You get more a response from your husband, I get "Nothing's wrong, leave me alone."

Answer 7

It doesnt matter if you are hot and sexy, or fat and ugly,your sex life will slow down a bit.I am 31 yr old married male and My sex drive is starting to slow a bit, and I think when you do it with the same person all the time it gets a bit old,perhaps you need to find a way to spice it up a little,my opinion, from a mans perspective.

Answer 8

Well, that's not normal - he's getting something somewhere else. If you're not real adept on your computer, you may want to do a search and see what videos or pics he's looking at - and make sure he's not getting something out of the house. Men's drive decreases, but not that much.

Check phone records, cell phone records and chat records on your computer - without him knowing !!

Answer 9

well the guy is getting old and sometimes i'm guessing the older you get the less sex is on your mind. you and him have been married for 14 years its possible that he might be bored. but, yeah guys can become not interested in sex, there are many reasons behind it. for me sometimes i don't want to have sex cause i have a lot on my mind and sometimes i'm stressed. if we have those kinds of things going on we won't be able to perform sexually. just have a talk with him and see whats going on in his mind.. he might bw going through something your not aware of and also let him know how you feel.

Answer 10

That's not right that is prime age for sex,his male hormones are down needs to see the doctor or maybe someone else is in the picture that he is having sex with.