How can I train my 3 month old baby to sleep on her own? What's that about letting them cry it out?Pls.?

Question

Other people say it's our fault that our baby wont sleep on her own because we always come to her rescue the second she cries.But now she's 3 months and at 7 kilos I just dont have the energy anymore to lug her around until she sleeps! Pls. Does letting her cry herself to sleep work? Assuming no health problems, how many minutes of crying will we wait before we take her off the crib? Please I need your help.

Answer 1

8 INFANT SLEEP FACTS EVERY PARENT SHOULD KNOW
In order to better understand the how-to's of getting you and your baby to enjoy going to sleep and staying asleep, here are some important principles of sleep that every new parent needs to understand.

1. How you sleep. After dressing or undressing for bed, most adults help themselves relax for sleep by performing various bedtime rituals: reading, listening to music, watching TV, or having sex. As you drift into sleep, your higher brain centers begin to rest; enabling you to enter the stage of deep sleep called "non-REM" (non-rapid eye movement -- NREM), or deep sleep (also called quiet sleep). Your mind and body are quietest during this stage of sleep. Your body is still, your breathing is shallow and regular, your muscles are loose, and you're really "zonked." After about an hour and a half in this quiet sleep stage, your brain begins to "wake up" and start working, which brings you out of your deep sleep and into light sleep or active sleep, called rapid eye movement or "REM" sleep. During this stage of sleep your eyes actually move under your eyelids as your brain exercises. You dream and stir, turn over, and may even adjust the covers without fully awakening. It is during this sleep stage that you may fully awaken to go to the bathroom, then return to bed and fall back into a deep sleep. These alternating cycles of light and deep sleep continue every couple hours throughout the night, so that a typical adult may spend an average of six hours in quiet sleep and two hours in active sleep. Thus, you do not sleep deeply all night, even though you may feel as though you do.

2. How babies enter sleep. You're rocking, walking, or nursing your baby and her eyelids droop as she begins to nod off in your arms. Her eyes close completely, but her eyelids continue to flutter and her breathing is still irregular. Her hands and limbs are flexed, and she may startle, twitch, and show fleeting smiles, called "sleep grins." She may even continue a flutter-like sucking. Just as you bend over to deposit your "sleeping" baby in her crib so you can creep quietly away, she awakens and cries. That's because she wasn't fully asleep. She was still in the state of light sleep when you put her down. Now try your proven bedtime ritual again, but continue this ritual longer (about twenty more minutes). You will notice that baby's grimaces and twitches stop; her breathing becomes more regular and shallow, her muscles completely relax. Her fisted hands unfold and her arms and limbs dangle weightlessly. Martha and I call this "limp-limb" sign of deep sleep. Baby is now in a deeper sleep, allowing you to put her down and sneak away, breathing a satisfying sigh of relief that baby is finally resting comfortably.

NIGHTTIME PARENTING LESSON #1:
Babies need to be parented to sleep, not just put to sleep. Some babies can be put down while drowsy yet still awake and drift
others need parental help by being rocked or nursed to sleep.

The reason is that while adults can usually go directly into the state of deep sleep, infants in the early months enter sleep through an initial period of light sleep. After twenty minutes or more they gradually enter deep sleep, from which they are not so easily aroused. As you probably know from experience, if you try to rush your baby to bed while she is still in the initial light sleep period, she will usually awaken. Many parents tell me: "My baby has to be fully asleep before I can put her down." In later months, some babies can enter deep sleep more quickly, bypassing the lengthy light sleep stage. Learn to recognize your baby's sleep stages. Wait until your baby is in a deep sleep stage before transitioning her from one sleeping place to another, such as from your bed to a crib or from carseat to bed or crib.

3. Babies have shorter sleep cycles than you do. Stand adoringly next to your sleeping baby and watch him sleep. About an hour after he goes to sleep, he begins to squirm, he tosses a bit, his eyelids flutter, his face muscles grimace, he breathes irregularly, and his muscles tighten. He is reentering the phase of light sleep. The time of moving from deep to light sleep is a vulnerable period during which many babies will awaken if any upsetting or uncomfortable stimulus, such as hunger, occurs. If the baby does not awaken, he will drift through this light sleep period over the next ten minutes, and descend back into deep sleep. Adult sleep cycles (going from light to deep sleep, and then back to light sleep) lasts an average of 90 minutes. Infants' sleep cycles are shorter, lasting 50 to 60 minutes, so they experience a vulnerable period for nightwaking around every hour or even less. As your baby enters this light sleep, if you lay a comforting hand on your baby's back, sing a soothing lullaby, or just be there next to baby if he is in your bed; you can help him get through this light sleep period without waking.

NIGHTTIME PARENTING LESSON #2:
Some babies need help getting back to sleep.
Some "resettlers" or "self-soothers" can go through this vulnerable period without completely awakening, and if they do wake up, they can ease themselves back into a deep sleep. Other babies need a helping hand, voice, or breast to resettle back into deep sleep. From these unique differences in sleep cycle design, we learn that one of the goals of nighttime parenting is to create a sleeping environment that helps baby go through this vulnerable period of nightwaking and reenter deep sleep without waking up.

4. Babies don't sleep as deeply as you do. Not only do babies take longer to go to sleep and have more frequent vulnerable periods for nightwaking; they have twice as much active, or lighter, sleep as adults. At first glance, this hardly seems fair to parents tired from daylong baby care. Yet, if you consider the developmental principle that babies sleep the way they do -- or don't -- for a vital reason, it may be easier for you to understand your baby's nighttime needs and develop a nighttime parenting style that helps rather than harms your baby's natural sleep rhythms. Here's where I'm at odds with modern sleep trainers who advise a variety of gadgets and techniques designed to help baby sleep more deeply through the night -- for a price, and perhaps at a risk.

5. Nightwaking has survival benefits. In the first few months, babies' needs are the highest, but their ability to communicate their needs is the lowest. Suppose a baby slept deeply most of the night. Some basic needs would go unfulfilled. Tiny babies have tiny tummies, and mother's milk is digested very rapidly. If a baby's stimulus for hunger could not easily arouse her, this would not be good for baby's survival. If baby's nose was stuffed and she could not breathe, or was cold and needed warmth, and her sleep state was so deep that she could not communicate her needs, her survival would be jeopardized.

One thing we have learned during our years in pediatrics is that babies do what they do because they're designed that way. In the case of infant sleep, research suggests that active sleep protects babies. Suppose your baby sleeps like an adult, meaning predominantly deep sleep. Sounds wonderful! For you, perhaps, but not for baby. Suppose baby had a need for warmth, food, or even unobstructed air, but because he was sleeping so deeply he couldn't arouse to recognize and act on these needs. Baby's well being could be threatened. It appears that babies come wired with sleep patterns that enable them to awaken in response to circumstances that threaten their well being. We believe, and research supports, that frequent stages of active (REM) sleep serve the best physiologic interest of babies during the early months, when their well being is most threatened.

NIGHTTIME PARENTING LESSON #3:
Encouraging a baby to sleep too deeply, too soon, may not be in the best survival or developmental interest of the baby. This is why new parents, vulnerable to sleep trainers' claims of getting their baby to sleep through the night, should not feel pressured to get their baby to sleep too long, too deeply, too soon.
6. Nightwaking has developmental benefits. Sleep researchers believe that babies sleep "smarter" than adults do. They theorize that light sleep helps the brain develop because the brain doesn't rest during REM sleep. In fact, blood flow to the brain nearly doubles during REM sleep. (This increased blood flow is particularly evident in the area of the brain that automatically controls breathing.) During REM sleep the body increases its manufacture of certain nerve proteins, the building blocks of the brain. Learning is also thought to occur during the active stage of sleep. The brain may use this time to process information acquired while awake, storing what is beneficial to the individual and discarding what is not. Some sleep researchers believe that REM sleeps acts to auto-stimulate the developing brain, providing beneficial imagery that promotes mental development. During the light sleep stage, the higher centers of the brain keep operating, yet during deep sleep these higher brain centers shut off and the baby functions on her lower brain centers. It is possible that during this stage of rapid brain growth (babies' brains grow to nearly seventy percent of adult volume during the first two years) the brain needs to continue functioning during sleep in order to develop. It is interesting to note that premature babies spend even more of their sleep time (approximately 90 percent) in REM sleep, perhaps to accelerate their brain growth. As you can see, the period of life when humans sleep the most and the brain is developing the most rapidly is also the time when they have the most active sleep. One day as I was explaining the theory that light sleep helps babies' brains develop, a tired mother of a wakeful infant chuckled and said, "If that's true, my baby's going to be very smart."

7. As they grow, babies achieve sleep maturity. "Okay," you say, "I understand this developmental design, but when will my baby sleep through the night?" The age at which babies settle – meaning they go to sleep easily and stay asleep varies widely among babies. Some babies go to sleep easily, but don't stay asleep. Others go to sleep with difficulty but will stay asleep. Other exhausting babies neither want to go to sleep nor stay asleep.

In the first three months, tiny babies seldom sleep for more than four-hour stretches without needing a feeding. Tiny babies have tiny tummies. Yet, they usually sleep a total of 14-18 hours a day. From three to six months, most babies begin to settle. They are awake for longer stretches during the day and some may sleep five-hour stretches at night. Between three to six months, expect one or two nightwakings. You will also see the period of deep sleep lengthen. The vulnerable periods for nightwaking decrease and babies are able to enter deep sleep more quickly. This is called sleep maturity.

NIGHTTIME PARENTING LESSON #4:
An important fact for you to remember is that your baby's sleep habits are more a reflection of your baby's temperament rather than your style of nighttime parenting. And keep in mind that other parents usually exaggerate how long their baby sleeps, as if this were a badge of good parenting, which it isn't. It's not your fault baby wakes up.
8. Babies still wake up. When babies mature into these adult-like sleep patterns varies among babies. Yet, even though babies achieve this sleep maturity some time during the last half of the first year, many still wake up. The reason? Painful stimuli, such as colds and teething pain, become more frequent. Major developmental milestones, such as sitting, crawling, and walking, drive babies to "practice" their new developmental skills in their sleep. Then between one and two years of age, when baby begins to sleep through the above-mentioned wake-up stimuli, other causes of nightwaking occur, such as separation anxiety and nightmares.

Even though you understand why babies are prone to nightwaking, you realize it's still important for parents and babies to get a restful night's sleep, otherwise, baby, the parents, and their relationship won't thrive.

Answer 2

3 months is young to leave her crying. Personally, I don't think babies younger than 6 months should be "crying it out." If you do try it, don't let her go longer than 1-1.5 hrs(which is what the cry it out people recommend). You could try "sleep training" where you teach her how to fall asleep on her own. It will take a few weeks, but it's better than leaving her to figure it out on her own. It is partially our faults as new parents that we respond to every whimper instead of allowing them to soothe themselves, but again, 3 months is really young. I know you're tired and I know you are about to pull your hair out, I had a very colic baby. If you find yourself getting frustrated then it's okay to lay her in the crib and go get a nap while she cries...if you can do that. Otherwise, I suggest either having her sleep with you for a month or so OR start sleep training. There are a ton of different methods, so you'll have to wade through all those(or ask a friend what worked for her). I did the Ferber Method but I know women who've had success with "Babywise" and "Baby Whisperer." Hang in there mama...I know you've almost hit the wall but it does get better, I promise. Good luck!

Answer 3

Honey, you sound tired and my heart goes out to you. Its not anyone's "fault" that they love and care for their child. Experts will tell you that their is no such thing as spoiling a three month old or that you can love your child too much. Don't listen to "other" people.

I will give you a suggestion because you asked, you can use it or not. The most important things for a good nights sleep is consistency and a full stomach. Give your baby a warm bath around seven pm, dress them comfortably for sleep with a clean diper. After the bath sit in a rocking chair, talk to your baby soothingly while you breastfeed or give a warm bottle. Rock softly in the chair, its comforting. Hopefully your baby will fall asleep during the feeding or after the burp.

When you lay your baby down and you know they are NOT hungry, NOT wet, NOT sick and nothing is sticking them anywhere (an ancient concern from mothers who used diper pins) then let them cry for five to seven minutes before picking them up. It is NOT good for a baby to cry hard for 20 or 30 minutes, it raises their blood pressure and keeps oxygen rich blood from getting to their brains.

Its hard to hear your baby cry, a friend told me to watch the clock, what seemed like forever was actually less that 6 minutes and then she would sleep. Have a nightly routine and your baby will respond. Good luck honey, can grandma help you guys out so you can get some sleep?

Answer 4

I have two children and both as babies were different..sometimes you have to do what you feel is best...your baby may start to sleep more in a couple of months...if you can wait maybe five or seven minutes and then go to your baby...a baby deserves to be hug and soothed they can't talk so if a hug and rock comforts her/him then i don't see anything wrong with that...motherhood comes with its ups and downs... i remember almost having to just fall on the floor to wake myself up some nights....so i understand the tiredness... but i wouldn't trade it for the world...she's still young and likes the comfort and closeness of your body and maybe still likes to hear your insides...i had a rocking chair in my bedroom so whenever my babies cried i would lay them on my chest and let them hear my heart beat and hug them close until they went to sleep...sometimes they need that extra attention and affection... i feel like they've been cuddled up inside you for so long they may still need that feeling.... sometimes it takes a few months for them to sleep a whole night but it will come be patient and hang in there it will get better...sometimes the best advice is a mothers instinct especially if nothing is wrong health wise...good luck and congrats...

Answer 5

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Answer 6

does baby suck a pacifier? it helps. my baby started sleeping longer thru the night around 3 months. when he'd wake up crying i'd give him his pacifier and he'd go back to sleep. i stopped giving him a middle of the night bottle altogether. he also slept in bed with me then which made it easier. i am a single mom so it didn't interfere with anything. you could also try putting some baby rice cereal in her last bottle before bedtime to fill her tummy longer. my baby just turned 1 and he stopped sucking the pacifier at 10 months and he's completely off the bottle! his pacifier was a life saver for me!
i tried letting my baby "cry it out" but that didn't work for me. he'd cry until he turn red in the face and coughing and i wasn't gonna do that to him. but u could try it. your baby is still so young he needs attention. you cannot spoil a 3 month old, don't listen to ignorant people! but now i let my 1 year old cry it out. he's older now so it works (sometimes) :-)

Answer 7

Get Instant Baby Sleep Now!

Answer 8

It's not as simple as just letting the baby cry to sleep, and, more importantly, it is still too early to practice CIO, so says the creator of the CIO method. Generally they don't recommend it until 4-6 months, depending on the baby.

There is a huge and long running debate on CIO vs. Soothe the baby vs. rush to the babies aid whenever. The most recent study say no method is necessarily better than the other, so long as you practice (a) method consistently.

Take a look here:

CIO
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/baby/babysleep/7755.html

Soothe:
http://www.babycenter.com/expert/baby/babysleep/1272921.html

No Tears method
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/baby/babysleep/teachsleep/1497581.html

Good luck.

Answer 9

at 3 months, most doctors recommened that
you still dont let the baby cry herself to sleep. between the age of 4-6 months, crying for less than an hour will most likey not physically affect her, but after an hour, if she is still upset, pick her up and hold her. at 3 months, more than 15 minutes could do damage.

Answer 10

If you want to put your baby to sleep in 20 seconds you must get the "Instant Baby Sleep" MP3 sound track. Here is their official web-site: http://www.instantbabysleep.net

The sound track gently produces energy over the full human hearing spectrum with an embedded pulse that gently eases the brain to the Alpha state well known for drowsiness and sleep induction.

Answer 11

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OK A BABY THAT YOUNG WILL NOT USUALLY SLEEP ALL NIGHT (THEY NEED TO EAT FREQUENTLY NOT STARVE FOR 8-10 HOURS) AND I THINK THAT LETTING A BABY CRY IT OUT (WHICH IS NOT SO SIMPLE AS JUST LETTING IT CRY N CRY) IS NOT THE ANSWER! IT IS NOT SO HARD TO PUT BABY TO BED! U NEED A RITUAL CONSISTENCY! DO THE SAME THING EVERYNIGHT! BATHE DRESS FEED AND ROCK THE BABY N PUT HER IN THE BED, MAYBE LEAVE A MOBILE OR SOFT MUSIC ON FOR HER. IT WORKS!!!! I DO BELIEVE BABIES CAN BE SPOILED BUT I FEEL WHO CARES AS LONG AS U KNOW YOUR BABY LOVES AND DEPENDS ON YOU AND KNOWS MOMMY IS ALWAYS THERE 4 ME!!