I can't watch my sister all the time so I never know what she could be up to. Sometimes I feel like there's no way I can stop her from doing what she wants to do. So I try to talk to her but you know how teenagers get, thinking theyre in control and right about everything with stubborn ears. Ive tried everything except tied her to the bed, but that wouldnt be civil. Im running out of ideas. Help?
2007-03-25 02:52:52 · 12 answers · asked by hardworkur84 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hello my brother,
I can understand your situation SOOOOO well---I was your sister one time. My brother wondered what I was up to, and since I was the youngest and only sister (sibling) he had, it was natural for him to feel that he had to be "controlling." He would threaten my boyfriends, have all kinds of talks with me, argue to the point of fist-fighting---been there, done that.
As a fellow Christian, I'm going to respond to you as God would have me respond to you. My advice to you is to pray for her. Whether she finds out harshly or mildly (if she's even having sex), when the time comes, God will pull her coat tail. I know this is a trying time for both of you, but think of this situation as God's way of testing your faith. Even though I don't have a child, God tapped me on the shoulder to let me know that I needed to slow down. Sometimes we may not acknowledge that "tug" as the tug of the Lord, but He has His way of making Himself known.
Trust me, my brother--things will be great and work out for the good. Trust and believe that God will make everything work out right. You'll be able to look back at this same question a few weeks until years from now and remember that prayer does change things. Keep praying and be strong...
2007-03-26 14:50:56 · answer #1 · answered by IB_08 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you heard, " If you can't lick them join them". I'm not saying that you should join them in sexual adventures.
If you can't stop her, do the next best thing - teach her, tell her about the STDs, unwanted pregnancies, safe sex and other things that are related. At least she'll be receptive because you'd then be supportive and moreover she will not hide anything from you, resulting in you getting to choose (somewhat) her partners also. I mean, she won't rebel if you reject an odd sexual partner that you don't approve of.
Nurturing a relationship with a grown up kid is far more difficult than a toddler. Try it, the situation should start improving within a month or so.
2007-03-25 10:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by sanjay 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
***EDIT***Didnt see you were the brother.
you CANNOT stop a teenager from doing anything. As a matter of fact you cant stop anyone from doing what they want to do. All you can do is talk to her about it, and provide her with birth control. As much as you want her to stop, dont play ignorant to whats really going on.
I starting becoming active at the age of 12.My parents did everything in their power to try to stop me from having sex. Instead all it did was push me to keep on doing it more. Because they wanted to play ignorant and think that just trying to stop me would be enough, i ended up being pregnant at 15. And dont punish her for having sex, my parents did that and i wasnt allowed to do anything a normal teen could do. So when it all boiled down sex was all i could get away with. In society today its normal for teens to have sex, so all you can do is try not to be a uncle soon.
2007-03-25 10:04:36 · answer #3 · answered by *Bella Reveuse* 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I have a teenage step-daughter, and I worry about the same thing. All I can do is, let her know that I love her, and talk to her about the consquences about having sex at a young age, and pray for her. I know that the more I fight against her in a topic like that, the more likely she's to do it out of spite. "Turn it over to God, and pray for her!"
2007-03-25 10:19:35 · answer #4 · answered by eyeeat_pussy 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is tell her how much you love her and care and tell her what would happen if she would get pregnant or what would happen if she would get some kind of sexually transmitted disease.Allways be there for your sister no matter what decision or choice she should make. As for what the guy she is with or should be with you could tell him this as i have to all the boys that like my daughter (As long as you don't touch any part of my daughter's body but in your case your sister's body i have no problem.But if you do then i will chop off your private parts. As for me no one messes with my daughter .And all her friends will tell you they won't mess with her.Now mind you i would never do that but put the fear in them and they wo'nt mess with your sister. If your sister is real young press charges on the boy/guy she is seeing..Hope everything works out for you and your sister.
~God Bless~
2007-03-25 10:20:02 · answer #5 · answered by michele k 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you cant stop someone from hurting themselves but you can try. this is a long term strategic plan so carry it out as accuratly as you can if you want: make her feel that you are changing your approaches, like tell her you think you were wrong when you tried to interfer so much in her life and apologize to her informing her that you want to trust her more. let her be for a while and be that caring but not interfering brother whom she can trust not to get angry even if she told him she had sex (hope not). but it is better to have her tell u than hide from u, eh? then, keep her occupied as much as you can without her noticing your plan..like push social activities in her way- give her on her birthday a subscribtion to a good club or magazine. the aim is to elevate her mentality and boost her confidence. if she is into music take her and her friends to concerts- suggest opera or plays as a challenge..travel with her for days around the country to connect better,get her a pet that can raise her sense of responsibility. always a good thing is to take her to orphanages where she can learn to appreciate her life..try to introduce her to nice ppl with good mentality..focus on making her think better of herself..good luck u r a good brother but be patient
2007-03-25 10:04:31 · answer #6 · answered by kate07 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
im sorry but there is actually no way to make them stop. the only thing you can do is tell them how you feel and about how their life could be ruined do to her actions. and be sure to remind her that you were once a teenager to and you know how it feels.
2007-03-25 10:01:46 · answer #7 · answered by shelly l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lets c, i just came outta the teen age n i don't think it would be a difficult job to control myslf if my basics are strong n im aware of what im doing including its consequences...im 20 n a virgin...
i suppose all u can do is set n example for ur sis so it is subconsciously imbibed in her that ppl with self regulation are still appreciated
(there were times when i wanted to do things not acceptable to my own principals...but He helped by confrontin me to ppl i hardly knew but encouraged me to a great extent to stick to my rules)
i think things that we get to hear co incidentally, make a profound effect on us rather than listening to someone's never ending lectures on what to do n not to do
2007-03-25 10:16:03 · answer #8 · answered by close_in_destroy_everything 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yeah, short of 'tying her to the bed', you can stop her from doing anything. You can't live her life for her. Just be a good sister - that's all you can do. :-)
2007-03-25 10:20:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are a foolish if you even think of stopping some one from having sex. You should, instead help them to do that.
2007-03-25 10:02:30 · answer #10 · answered by Shiv Rana 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋