This was 20 years ago.....She has since moved on, married and has kids.....At the time I basically used her and didn't appreciate her. Now, I can't stop thinking about her....Will this ever end for me? NO, I'm not stalking her at all.
2007-03-25 02:37:57 · 12 answers · asked by TNT 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow, i guess I needed a swift kick in the a.s.s by women on this one. I am NOT that same person I was 20 years ago. Yes, I regret what could have been to some degree.
2007-03-25 02:51:14 · update #1
Because you realize what you had and what you threw away. Probably when you treated her like crap you were going thru that stage where you didn't want a relationship and were just having fun. Now that you see she's moved on and is married and happy, from the outside looking in you see that could have been you and see what a great girl she really is. Yes, it will go away, you're just going to need to find someone to fill the void.
2007-03-25 02:51:17 · answer #1 · answered by amanda m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree w/Deu's answer. I was in a relationship for 10 years with a guy, and the same thing happened with me. Treated like crap especially at the end. Been out of it now about 4 months. He's going through the same things you are right now. A relationship is a special gift that should not be taken advantage of.
There are millions seeking a relationship right now on all of the singles websites. Would give anything, go anywhere in the world to find one etc.
Is it worse to not have a relationship, or screwed one up because of poor behavior, and are now single feeling extremely guilty? Frustration city, man!
I will advise you like I told my ex. Go to therapy. There are underlying issues that you have, that had nothing to do with that relationship. Behaviors that you had in the past maybe previous hurts that caused the poor behavior in this particular relationship. Only therapy can help you get to the root, and conquer those issues.
You will never stop thinking about it otherwise. Not in 30 years or 50 years if you don't.
2007-03-25 03:04:05 · answer #2 · answered by Credit Expert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it will if you let it go. Right now you probably realize that she was a good catch and may be feeling a little guilty because of the way you treated her.
It is ok to let her know that you are sorry for how you treated her, this will help you 'let it go" a little.
I had a guy do the same thing to me about 10 years ago. Right now he is going through major regret, he knows i have moved on but can't help but wonder "what might have been" and that is what is bothering him the most. I remind him that things are meant to be the way they are, and that even if I was single again, I still probably wouldn't date him based on our previous experience together. Its hard for him to hear that kind of rejection, but at the same time, it has helped him to move on.
2007-03-25 02:45:36 · answer #3 · answered by Deu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are feeling guilty and need to make amends. I suggest you talk to a trusted friend and let it out on them. Leave her out of the picture and deal with YOUR demons. If you run into her treat her with kid gloves and respect. She will get the picture. Her husband might want to tell you off and I don't think that is what you think your asking for here, so stay clear and in the know. This feeling may be cathartic and healing for you.
2007-03-25 02:53:30 · answer #4 · answered by birdshoecat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont know what you got until its gone.
I guess try to find a woman with simular traits, and treat her better.
And maybe you can call the woman up, and tell her your sorry for treating her like you did, you were a big *** that didnt know what a good thing he had with her. But dont meet her, that will just make things worse. But maybe calling and apologizing will help the healing process for you.
2007-03-25 02:45:14 · answer #5 · answered by Zenthae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think you have saw what she has now, and know it could have been you if you werent so mean to her. personally i think its guilt you feel about how you did treat her. dont let it eat you up im sure she has gone on and forgot about it and you should to. you may always have a place in your heart for her but go and find someone that will fullfill you and have a good life.
2007-03-25 02:52:43 · answer #6 · answered by shelly l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you've heard the old saying- hindsight is 20/20.
You are now reaping what you've sewn.
I have no sympathy for anyone who uses someone else.
You are only feeling guilty (as you should).
Get over yourself-indulged pitty party.
2007-03-25 02:46:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's because you have unresolved issues. You don't want her to still be thinking you're a jerk.
My advice is.... get over it and move on. She doesn't care. She probably never even thinks about it. Even apologizing at this stage would be.... just.... plain.... weird. There's nothing you can do about it now, so don't drive yourself crazy over it.
P.S. Find someone else...
2007-03-25 02:45:27 · answer #8 · answered by Kia A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not long for this woman per se. You long for the control you had over her. You say you treated her like crap - that is what you long for. Work on changing your attitude about relationships.
http://www.predator-awareness.com/
2007-03-25 02:44:18 · answer #9 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
b/c she has touched u personally and u obviously like her still and i don't know if this helps u any
2007-03-25 02:46:37 · answer #10 · answered by v-ball_chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋