what do i do? there is no reason for him not to trust me. i have just been divorced and my ex was the same very insecure. help!!
2007-03-25 01:25:00 · 25 answers · asked by sweetiepie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was with someone that was a lot younger than me and she left me over and over but in a nutshell i think it is hard for the man to trust when he is older because he may have been hurt in the past or more to the point they can't understand why someone so nice and young as you would want then so they will leave you or push you away before they get hurt even though you may never do that they are scared to take the chance
2007-03-25 08:02:55 · answer #1 · answered by andrew h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's 45, right? So when you are 50, he will be 78.
You have two ways of looking at this. If you regard the relationship as one you would like to have lasted forever, you can try and win him back, insecurities and all. But just bear in mind that he's some time going to be very dependent on you and that might not be something you will want at age 50. If you reach ~that~ conclusion, look on the break as being a benefit for you to be able to find someone your own age and get out there again, girl.
On the other hand. You say you've just been divorced; if he was there for you during the messy times it may be he feels his job is finished, and is just trying to let you down gently. However, if you left your husband ~for~ him, then, sorry, he's perhaps right not to trust you - if the relationship proceeds, how does he know you won't leave him for another guy?
2007-03-25 08:15:44 · answer #2 · answered by musicalj2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, he may have issues with insecurity or/and he has been burned himself. If you don't love him then no big deal. If you want to pursue the relationship then reassure him that you are a trusting person when you're with someone you love. Maybe he is testing you out to see if you are that serious about him or you have given him reason to believe you are not trusting. Could be he is a control freak. Whatever! Hey, enjoy your singleness for now. Why jump into a serious relationship so soon.
You may want to consider reading some literature on what makes men and women 'tick'. There's some good books available.
Take Care.
2007-03-25 01:44:37 · answer #3 · answered by Marina 1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your ex was the same then your either a) going for the wrong type of guy or b) there must be something your doing that makes them feel insecure! Ring him and ask why him why he thinks he cant trust you and take on board what he says, if he has no valid reason then just accept he wanted out of the relationship
2007-03-25 01:30:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to find out why he feels he cannot trust you. Do you flirt with other guys at all? Do guys hit on you alot when he is around if i may ask? You need to know the reason he does not trust you . You may not want to be with this guy if he is so insecure anyways. If i were you i would break up with him and move on with my life.
2007-03-25 01:37:12 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dear if you logically see no reason for him not to trust you then the problem is not yours to own. Think about it. He may have an insecurity or it may be a manipulation tactic. Review my website and see if any thing else in there rings a bell. If not, you need to let go of this. Some one else's insecurity is crazy making.
http://www.predator-awareness.com/
2007-03-25 01:57:44 · answer #6 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
That's a very weak excuse, especially if you haven't given him reason to not trust you.
IMHO I think he may be engaging in or is starting up a new relationship elsewhere.
Keep away from men for awhile, enjoy your single freedom and be choosy next time, VERY choosy!
There IS someone out there that is just right for you - you just haven't met them yet!
Best of luck!
2007-03-25 07:28:15 · answer #7 · answered by Moofie's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has no evidence and says he loves you then why leave? It doesn't add up and could dare I say just be an excuse to finish it, also by conveniently putting the blame on you!
I wouldn't bother with this man, he hasn't the capacity to be honest. There are men out there that are self assured and comfortable in the themselves, go find one!! x
2007-03-25 01:31:52 · answer #8 · answered by farleyjackmaster 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes we do tend to attract the same types of people, u need to distance yourself from him, won't be any different than with your ex, just an insecure man with no self worth, who will make your life miserable. u don't continue the relationship, unless u haven't learned from your past.
2007-03-25 01:30:03 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ignore all these peole on here telling u to dump him age dosent mater .you do need to tell him to trust u though i dont think its his age causing the problems my bf was the same i just said get over yourself if i love him
it worked we now been toghther 8 years
im 31 he is 53 in few weeks
good luck
2007-03-25 01:42:55 · answer #10 · answered by veronica 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋