After you discover that he was illerate, you hired a private tutor and trying to teach him yourself, by getting phonics and everything else there was to get to assist him. You stayed with him for 10yrs only to relize that he is bringing you and your kids down, All this man expect is to hand him everything. he can't drive, and he cant hold a job. what do you do as it is affecting your selfesteem since you are the one carrying the family? You had to go back to school to gain two degrees just to make a decent income to hold the family together. You no longer love this man as he is not willing to better himself.
2007-03-25 00:28:58 · 13 answers · asked by sweet 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
leave. everything is a lie, and he has no problem with it.
The future with this person is doomed.
Protect yourself since this person has no conscience at all.
Protect your emotions, your dignity and your assets.
Move your cash before you move out.
Document all you have
make notes of the lies and leave this with a trusted friend in case you need it later ie he is stalking or slandering you.
Good luck, my friend just went through this.
2007-03-25 00:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all i am really very sorry to hear. Second of all, i would like to praise you for putting up with someone like him for more than 10 years.
From what you have written, i can see that this man is clearly a disgrace to all men. He should be demoralised for all these things he had committed. He should be reforming instead of just accepting who he is; a lazy bum.
My Advice:
It's time you end this suffering. Go file for a divorce. Because he is clearly making use of you. Losing a man like him would not bring you to a loss. As a matter of fact, you gain. You have to feed one person less. The total gross income is gonna stay the same. You dun lose any money. You will also be happier.
I think that you are the greatest woman i have ever met. Many women woud just dump the guy after realising that he had lied almost everything bout himself. I have to applaud you for staying with him. Trying to improve your husband. But no matter how hard you try, he is still not doing anything for himself. I would say that you assisted him for too long. And he has depended on you. If you do not put a stop for this, he would just carry in depending on you. Its time you put a stop to all these things. Dun let him bring you down. Leave him and let him fall. You shall climb the ladder with your kids.
Good luck with it. And do not be depressed. Learn to be happy and make a wise choice. Because whatever choice you make will affect ur life till you pass on. God bless you.
2007-03-25 00:47:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would you give someone like that ten years of your life? To answer your question, no, you should not stay with someone who has demonstrated himself to be a liar, user, and overall drain on you.
In any relationship, you are right to have an expectation that you will get something positive out of it, whether that be financial security, companionship, family, love, or whatever. It sounds as if you're getting little or nothing positive out of this relationship. Wouldn't you be better off on your own, then with this person whom you describe in such negative terms? And, what are you teaching your kids about both women and how it is to be a man? That a woman should just take whatever is handed to her and accept it? Or that her happiness doesn't matter? Or that its ok for a man to be lazy and contribute nothing to the fmaily or to his own relationship? All bad messages for kids.
2007-03-25 00:52:51 · answer #3 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he lied about that what alse has he lied about.And girl he is using you for everything,If he wants a mother he should go back home.Your not his mother your his wife,and he is holding you down,If he can't get off his *** and do something,and help take care of his family,Its time to have a long take with him.He has no wright to bring you and the kids down,when he is at fault.
2007-03-25 01:50:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, of course you shouldn't stay with him. It's too bad you spent 10 years on him. If he's an energy, emotional, and financial drain he isn't contributing much except, perhaps, to make you feel as though you can carry a heavy burden. That's a very good reason to not continue with him. Kick him to the curb.
2007-03-25 00:39:07 · answer #5 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO. Kick him to the curb. Someone as patient, nice, and forgiving, and with such a good heart as you deserves FAR better than the deadbeat likes of that loser.
Best of luck to you and your family.
2007-03-25 07:32:17 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already have the answer to your question. I cannot understand why it's taken you so long to realise that he is not adding any value to you or your children, especially since he cannot be truthful about anything. The sooner you are free of him, the better!
2007-03-25 00:34:59 · answer #7 · answered by Jacqui Waze 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you already have all the answers you need.
This man is no good and hasn't been from the start. Anybody deserves better and should leave.
2007-03-25 00:36:47 · answer #8 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if thats the case,
i think that u should divorce him, cause it seems like ur marriage from his side is based on a lie,
and what kind of marriage is that ?
i think the best u can do for ur kids and of course ur self,
is just get a divorce,
all the best,
2007-03-25 00:40:32 · answer #9 · answered by emily j 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what you need to do, but you are just holding on. Face the fact that he doesnt want to put any effort into it!
2007-03-25 00:34:43 · answer #10 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋