My boyfriend has become distant with me. He has been like this since he hasn't got his promotion at work. He works full-time and he is now looking for a new job as he is unhappy with his current one. He goes to interviews almost every week, he even went to interview near my city. He has been quite stressed about all this and he told me last weekend he is fed up of loosing as he has had some negative replies from his interviewers. I took his distnacing personally and have been questioning him, worried he has lost interest in me. He was trying to explain that it's all due to his job stress but I still became very needy and accusatory. He pulled away even more and became angry with me. He said I am loosing him this way as I don't support him. I don't know what to do as he is now even more distant with me than before. I asked him to meet but he says he is not sure now. Please help, I love him very much but I am worried I am loosing him.
2007-03-24 22:55:22 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Its not all about you....I think you should give him some space... the man is stressed!!
2007-03-24 22:58:59 · answer #1 · answered by purple_85 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can be very hard to support someone who is distant all the time and so caught up with their career that they lose sight of the things that really matter. Ask him what it is that he wants you to do. How does he want you to support him? So what if he hasn't had much luck in getting another job? Thats hardly your fault is it? I would just give this guy some space for a while - do not contact him at all. If he comes back then you can sit down and talk this through. If he dosen't you can be sure that he isn't the guy for you and you had a lucky escape. If he gets this stressed and takes it out on you then it isn't worth it. This is only making you unhappy and he isn't helping the situation at all.
2007-03-25 01:06:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is more in a mans life than women u know. We do get stressed over other things. Looking for a new job and getting constant rejections is not nice. It is stressful. He doesnt need the girl who says loves him to stress him out as well. Do things to show you love and care and support him. I know myself from a past relationship words are too easy to say. Put these words into actions. He will appreciate it. Its not all about you
2007-03-25 02:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
now you have given more details and been a little more honest about the situation then my answer is much the same as last time except you must support him and not take it personally at all he is going through a really hard time at the moment and to feel he doesnt have the support of the woman he is with is just adding to his problems, i always say that when the chips are down you know who your true friends are and this looks to me like you are putting your own insecurities before his need at the moment, apologise to him now and explain that you sholud not have taken it personally and that you will be more supportive now and do something really nice for him, do this a.s.a.p or you do risk losing him, he needs to know you are 100% behind him, at least you recognise the problems and are addressing them good luck
2007-03-24 23:04:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can be a very challenging time for a guy. His ego is bruised by being rejected in interviews, and he might truly be very busy looking for work.
Guys need to see themselves as attractive for what they do. If you support him more, he will want to be with you more.
But guys do need to spend some time "in their cave". Read some Mars and Venus books by John Gray to get some insight into this. Personally I liked "Men, Women and Relationships" the best. "Mars and Venus on a Date" was also excellent.
Ultimately, he needs to believe in himself to allow himself to be loved by you.
2007-03-24 23:05:10 · answer #5 · answered by abrunger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are distressing hi, A guy wants his career and if he is attempting to improve his career, you should support him. If you can't because of YOUR emotional problems, keep away from him until he is properly settles down in his career.
2007-03-24 23:07:48 · answer #6 · answered by AdultMale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let the things be go as they r going . Don't worry at all he will be yours just give him little time to think . After some time he realise and definately come to u. Be happy
2007-03-25 00:25:54 · answer #7 · answered by Naresh K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs your full support not the extra worry of insecurity
2007-03-24 22:59:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋