a year ago i used to call someone whom i respected a lot. he was also fine talking to me& he used to like it when i called him up&talk to him.he then started liking me and one fine day proposed to me.I had no reason 2 turn him down and since i respected him a lot i said 'yes'.problem is,since i wasnt "really" in love with him,and it was in just initial stages,i dint respond to his feelins properly.&i also dint know at all abt how to maintain a relationship&all that.it went on like that for nearly 7 months&after that suddenly he started saying that "you dont love me coz u dont respond to my feelings properly. I am fed up with this relationship." but he didnt say nething abt leaving me.but he kept abusing me on&on.it never seemed to end though i corrected my mistakes.finally i got fed up with his abusals&dumped him.recently whn i called him he said "y cant love end in frnshp?let's be frns".I am now in love with him.bt am afraid to go back coz of da abusals.he says dat he still loves me
2007-03-24 22:32:44 · 21 answers · asked by MOKSHA 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the abusing isn't just telling that "you dont love me coz u dont respond to my feelings" it was really hard nearly for a month and i started having nightmares about it. now when asked about it, he even justifies himself!!!
2007-03-24 22:52:44 · update #1
the abusing isn't just telling that "you dont love me coz u dont respond to my feelings" it was really hard nearly for a month and i started having nightmares about it. now when asked about it, he even justifies himself!!!
2007-03-24 22:53:38 · update #2
but during those passionate 7 months he loved me and respected me a lot
2007-03-24 22:55:04 · update #3
Well honey, he must have had feelings for u and im sure gave u lots of respect also. But u see even u said u did not know how to deal with relationship so the same applies to him also.. he doesnt know how to behave in relationship. If uve dumped him bcz of the abuse then why do u think he wont abuse u again.. see i can understand that now u also have feelings for him but whats the gurantee that he is better now and will love u more than b4.. dear u need to move on or make sure he never comes up with those abuses cz its all about respect.. u give and u take respect. ok
take care wish u luck sweetheart..
u can reply if u wish to chat..
2007-03-25 02:01:20 · answer #1 · answered by Deeps 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear friend!
if someone abuses you then that means they don't respect you & you deserve better than that!
if you say now that you love him you should analyse why?
what made things change?
do you feel pressured that's why you wanna be with him or do you somehow now after all this time realise that you actually do love him for the person he is!
you got to make the decision wheather to go back to him or not & if you do.......are things gonna change or be the same?
if you don't go back to him............you got to come to terms with the fact that will never know what could have happened?
it's no use asking yahoo friends to give you an answer because it's you that have to decide & live with the consequences..........!
goodluck!
2007-03-26 04:37:11 · answer #2 · answered by KARMA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
abuse doesn't make a friendship, it called entrapment. When you go back he's going to abuse you even worse than before and this time it will be because you left him. Then we'll read about another women killed by her husband. Use your brain, how can you be in love w/ someone that hurts you? If you go back you probably won't be able to get out so easy this time.
2007-03-25 05:46:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Dear !
That depends on you that how you take him or the theme behind his abuse act .I personnelly feel that too bad but if you really care talk to him on this issue to make him feel better and special to avoid all phrase ! The best solution is to discuss the matter with him personnally to get the solution
2007-03-25 19:28:17 · answer #4 · answered by Prakash Chandra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every abuser says they love the person he or she is abusing; it's a luring method. In other words, he or she knows if they play on your emotions, you will stick around. They know you will somehow blame yourself for their behavior. You were smart and got out of the relationship. Please, don't be stupid and go back no matter how much he CLAIMS he's changed. If you do go back and the abuse starts again, guess who you should be mad at? You. :)
2007-03-25 05:37:06 · answer #5 · answered by VHagerty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his frustruations of long wait of acceptence.. just meet him and tell him you took time to make the decision of materialising your love towards him in the correct time.and also tell him abuses hurts and a man with brain has to contol his anger and analyse the situations with a right frame of mind. point out his shortcomings with wisdom and is he financially independent? If not you should try and give a second thought of loving some one else more matured and handle any unforseen situation calmly and respect you!!!
2007-03-25 05:44:56 · answer #6 · answered by sweet papa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok,
him telling you that "you don't love me because you don't respond to my feeling properly" is NOT abuse. I'm so sick of you silly a** women out there whining about abuse when it's not happening. When starts beating you mercilessly, then let me know. (Yes, I know there's mental abuse too, but what she's talkin' about AINT it!)
So grow up. It sounds to me that you're FAR too immature to be in ANY kind of relationship until you grow up.
So Grow UP!
2007-03-25 05:37:42 · answer #7 · answered by Love Answers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg!u r 1confused chic!!!! there is so much goin on in that situation that it is getting confuse. first of all do you even really know how you feel? i mean why would you say yes to a marriage proposal when u r not in love? you say that there was no reason to turn him down? is THAT not a reason??????? marriage is more than respecting somebody. i think that you need to spend some time on your own getting to know yourself and figuring out what you want in life and it sounds to me that now that he doesn't want you... you have decided that you want him!
2007-03-25 05:43:21 · answer #8 · answered by pom pom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont get how you can be in love with someone who you claim abused you thats just silly. Get the hell away from him he will grow up eventually, you said you changed yourself to make things work then you gave your marriage ago. Let it be your past and move on.
2007-03-25 05:55:39 · answer #9 · answered by wana help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shud better leave him ....Love is not a language of abuse . when he didnt understand u .
If someone get a person who is perfect thats not possible.
Love can b more passionate wwhen u make or learn someone love or care . he actually didnt understand u . he abused that means patienceless guy .
better find who cares u
2007-03-25 05:52:20 · answer #10 · answered by Don 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋