how do I refrain from emptying my emotional baggage to my friends?

Question

I swear I can't help it. I tend to tell my friends my emotional and relationship problems in the midst of normal conversations. I need to stop and just be happy! How do I stop myself from being whiny and silly?

Suggestions for fun conversation topics?

Answer 1

just imagine how annoyed they are maybe then you'd stop because you are so embarrased

Answer 2

If your emotion baggage is empty, then you will not say anything. The cause is that your emotional baggage is too full. The effect is you over spilled the emotions onto your friends.

Friends get together because they want to be happy. Have you seen friends getting together to be sad? I can tell you that your friends will leave you one once they are fed up with you. Use this as a real good reason to stop. Tell yourself that if you don't want to loose your friends you better stop.

Find a quiet place or the lonely beach and shout all your emotions out loud to the trees, animals, or even the gods in heaven. This will help you to ease the emotional burden.

Stop analyzing your problems when you are alone. The more you analyze, the more emotion you have. Every time you start to analyze, catch yourself, "Stop it. The solution will be provided when the time comes". Then start identifying the things around you like "The time on the yellow clock is 3 o'clock" ..... and so on. This will redirect your attention to the present moment. Then continue with whatever you are doing.

Answer 3

Why do you assume that what pains your heart is whiny and silly? It hurts, its not silly. At the same time, none of us wants to be a 'Debbie Downer' when out with friends. So, think, just think a split second before responding in conversations, just think of something pleasant to say. Read more, go to a few movies, read online articles on topics that interest you and them, then when you do go out, you can talk about current events, books, film, etc. and feel like you are contributing to the good time, instead of draining it. But understand something here...your friends probably love you no matter what, and if you need to vent, they want you to be able to do that with them. Just try to keep it reasonable, then move on to other topics. You will be okay kiddo. Good luck.

Answer 4

Try writing in a journal or an online blog to relieve yourself of all of those thoughts. I sometimes call that "verbal diarehea." Meaning, it just comes out without you being able to stop yourself. Do you feel an urge because you don't have anything else to say? Do you have one close friend who you and she can confide in one another about that personal stuff? Is there anyway that you can see a therapist; not because you have problems but to release the stress of having so much that you feel you need to get off your chest.

Ironically, exercising can help relieve that sort of anxiety around people- the extra energy makes you feel like you have to go and go and go- if you're able to release some of it through running, walking, etc, you might find that you are less anxious and more able to control your feelings and words.

Other suuggestions? Write poetry, doddle on paper, take pictures to express your feelings, draw, sing, take a long drive, take a long walk in a beautiful park.....

Hopefully some of this helps. Good luck!

Answer 5

If you have issues that need to be dealt with, seek professional help to allow you to deal with these issues and put them in perspective. Let the past go in a healthy way and stop playing the victim role.
Confine your confidences only to a trusted person until you get a handle on your emotions. Everybody goes through it and you are not unique. Join a support group if necessary on advise from a professional counsellor

Answer 6

Try to journal your emotional issues.
Before you open your mouth, stop think and then stop from talking.

Remember everything that goes through your brain doesn't need to come out of your mouth.

Suggestions of converstaions...
Most people love to talk about themselves. Ask a question rather than talk about yourself.
Talk about a movie or a song or happenings at school.

If you are too much a downer you won't have many friends left.

Answer 7

Keep a journal for your emotional baggage and as for suggestions for conversation topics, let your friends start conversations and you join in. If you feel that you may want to say something, whip out your journal and start writing. Hope this helps!! God Bless!!

Answer 8

There's a difference between whining and complaining and just telling what's bothering you. You should be able to tell your friends what's on your mind. That's also what friends are for. I would want to know when one of my friends isn't feeling good for what ever reason. Maybe I can help by suggesting things or just by listening. Just try not be in the role of the victim and don't push their suggestions of the table. That can make them feel powerless and frustrated. Just tell what's up, vent, let them listen and help.

Answer 9

Write in a journal or diary instead of venting to your friends

Answer 10

thats what friends are for, so you can vent , and unlaod all ur troubles. i vent and unload all the time to my friends and they do to me, it keeps us all sain!