I left my husband when he was diagnosed with cancer.Now he's ok and I want him back.What do I do?

Question

We were married for 5 years at the time he was diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer.It wasn't terminal but we were told the journey to get him better was going to be a very lond one.When I found out I totally lost it and I know it was extremely wrong of me but I left him because I didn't think I could deal with the disease and how it'd affect my life.He didn't have any other family so I did feel very guilty but I didn't feel like I had a choice but to leave him.It's been 2 years and he's in remission.I want a second chance so badly.He treated me like a queen throughout the whole time we've been together and I still love him as much as ever.He won't even look me in the eye let alone consider getting back together.What do I do?

Answer 1

Leave the poor guy alone and let him find a woman who will love him thru sickness and health til death.
You are no good for him. You dont deserve to be married to anyone. Do you think youre gonna get thru life with no hard problems? You need to see a shrink. I hope to god hes not stupid enough to take you back.

Answer 2

That's hard to answer because when he needed you most, you left him. It's not like you didn't have a choice... Most people get better when they are happy and feel loved. It's a very important thing to have in life. If you truly loved him, you wouldn't let yourself do what you did. What would you do if he comes back to you and about a year later have another type of cancer? You would probably do the same thing again. It's really sad. I think you should try to work on yourself first, before trying to get your husband back. I am not trying to sound mean or be against you but I really think what your husband went through is sad, so I can't understand why you left him. In other words, if he treated you like a queen, don't you think he deserved to feel that way too. I am sure you would never go back to your husband if he did the same thing to you. A person must be crazy in order to do that.

Answer 3

Well One thing is for sure I think that was very selfish, because I am pretty sure that this was a time that he needed you, now I will say that I believe you freaked out, But how can you say that this time you will not do it again, I think that you can have a second chance, I just think that was you can be forgiven, you need to ask for forgiveness one, for taking the vows and betraying them and going back and breaking your word, I think that you need to go to him and apologize to him and tell him why you did what you did, I felt so hurt when i read it that i stopped reading, Everyone has some kind of fault in their life and in thier walk, and I think that there are times when one gets overwhelmed and run like you did, I think that you can be forgiven and there is a chance that things can change just know that this won't be easy, because of a choice, and a choice can make hell or heaven, there is hope just know that, I think that even if he doesn't want to come back then you need to make sure that you never get that scared that you leave the one that in first needed more support than you, he could have died just from lack of hope, you have to be careful/ and if he wont let you back in you need to pray and ask God for help, I just don't understand how you were thinking enough about your future, and didn't take into consideration his, I mean this isn't just about you, I think he spoiled you a lil too much what do you think
It can work but you got work to do, this is a phcologist, who may help you my mother she is Dr. Elise, and I am her daughter. Sky so here is hers [e-mail]

or me
here it's your choice but there you can ask for help.
[e-mail]

Answer 4

Marraige is for better or worse, in sickness and in health. I dont blame him for not looking you in the eye. When things get bad that you have to deal with are you going to run away from it? I am sorry but if I was him I wouldnt give you a second chance. the pain you gave him when you left when he had no one was probably worse than the cancer he went through. You say you couldnt deal with the disease and how it would effect your life, what about his? You left him when he needed you the most, you ran thinking only of yourself. Sorry, but I think you need to let him move on and hope he finds someone else. I also hope you learned that life can be hard and a marraige takes work. I also hope you learned that sometimes you need to put the ones you love ahead of yourself. Move on and let him go on with his life, give him a chance at happiness with someone else. And maybe you need to see a counselor to help you past this.

Answer 5

Having had cancer myself, I wonder why I would want someone like you back after you left when I would have needed my wife the most. My wife was the one thing I had in my life that made me get through the 6 months of weekly chemotherapy sessions.

It's been almost 7 years, and I treasure her more than I can say. I've found out since that the anguish she was under and successfully hid from me, was what caused her breakdown. And I was there to get her through her ordeal.

Marriage is a commitment to put the other person's needs and wishes ahead of your own.

Better or Worse, Richer or Poorer, in sickness and in health, Until Death do you part.

Answer 6

Keep walking. You bailed when he needed you most, and if I were him, I wouldn't want you back. The Better or Worse part of the Marriage became clear when it got "Worse" as far as what it meant for you.

You didn't think YOU could handle the disease. What about him, he was fighting Cancer, and had to deal with his wife leaving him.

You are or were obviously a "Fair Weather" Wife only. Now that you truly found out what you are/were made of, do him a favor and keep walking.

Answer 7

Honey l am afraid you have lost the battle for now, you left this man when he was in a time of need, and l am afraid he will not forget this, when you married it was for sickness and in health, l have a feeling if the shoe had been on the other foot , he would not have left your side. We all have to learn lessons in this world, your not the only one this has happened to, but l think your going to have to forget about reuniting with him for now and hope and pray that maybe in the future he will forgive you. God Bless.

Answer 8

I do not know if you deserve a second chance. it says for better or worse through sickness and health. You walked away because you did not think his sickness could fit into your life.

You need to tell him what your feelings are if he can get passed you being so selfish. then you may have a chance. though some day he will get mad again because you chose your own feelings over his. God may have been weeding out the weeds.

Answer 9

From your posts, it sounds like you are a very immature and self-centered person. How you could walk away from someone in crisis, when they needed you most, is beyond me. While I certainly believe in second chances, this may be a situation where the lack of loyalty and reliability can not be regained. I'd suggest that you have to show how sincerely you have changed, if you have, and see if he can regain trust. Still, I'd recommend you be prepared to move on as he may never trust or rely on you again. What YOU want is not always what is most important, in this case, definately not.

Answer 10

As hard as it was for him to admit that you did not love him, he realized it, and did the right thing by refusing to have contact with you. Didn't you take the marriage vows...."in sickness and in health 'till death....?"

Maybe you think you love him now, but leaving him like you did was not an expression of love. He got over you. You made your mistake, and now you must get over him and get over your error. If you truly realize that you were wrong, then you must forgive yourself and try to find another to love.

When you finally do find yourself in another relationship, don't be surprised if fate gives you a 2nd chance to do the loving thing. Will you be ready, or will you do the same thing again? Leave your ex alone. You hurt him enough already.