I am the black sheep of the family. I am the second child from four siblings, and I am also the only girl in the family. Although some people thought that I might be the favorite one in the family because I am the only girl, I actually felt left out almost every day. It hurts my feeling a lot, when we are all together, and I am the quiet one, each time I open up a conversation, every member neglected me. This causes me not to hang out with them anymore, it's not that I'm not trying at all to please every member of my family, I already did, but still, I felt like the odd one out. My mom also always praise other girls she met on tv, or when we are out together in the mall, she made me feel that I am not attractive at all. To make matter worse, my parents adopt a little girl, whom is cute, and (sigh...), praised her everyday too. This made me feel that I am not good enough for them, and I started to feel that way too with every other people in my life like friends, and boyfriends.
2007-03-24 20:37:49 · 4 answers · asked by faridah s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow, you have a power case of middle kid syndrome. I really think you should get counselling for this.
2007-03-24 20:40:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there!
Firstly I am sorry to hear about what is happening to you. I can relate to you because I am also sort of the black sheep of the family too. I'm the third child of four siblings, and I am almost always the one who has problems at home. I'm not proud of it but I have learnt to deal with it over the years.
Your mom praising other girls doesn't mean that she hates you and you shouldn't feel that you are inferior to them. I think that moms have a certain expectation from their daughters, especially since you are the only daughter. Don't think that you are not good enough for your family, cos you don't have to live to other people's expectations if you don't want to. It's good that at least you make an effort to bond with your family by starting conversations with them, even if they don't always acknowledge you. You shouldn't feel bad about it but instead praise yourself for not distancing yourself from them. Afterall, family is still very important.
As for your adopted little sister, it is normal for everyone to praise the cute little girl especially when she first arrived. I'm sure that they did the same thing to you when you were still a little girl too. =) Do give it some time to get used to. You could also bond with your little sister and at the same time bond with your family members who are also bonding with the little girl. This way, through your adopted sister, you are able to communicate with your family.
About the middle child syndrome, to me, I don't think it is. It's just the way your mom and family members treat you that made you feel that way. So, don't feel too sad about it ok? Try to adapt to their behaviour and not take it too hard when they ignore you or anything. Also, you could keep a diary to vent out all your frustrations. Trust me, it works! =)
I hope this helps! Cheer up k? =)
2007-03-26 22:35:31 · answer #2 · answered by aeroflax 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh goodness! I am sorry for you to feel this. Your problem stems mostly because of your parents' lack of attention to you. Let them know about this, and how their behavior has caused trauma to you. No one has the right to make you feel insecure about yourself -- your friends, your boyfriend, most specially your parents. If your folks could be more sensitive about treating all of you their children affectionately then you will be healthier emotionally. Do not feel discouraged that your brothers and you do not share a lot in common, just hang out with them anyway and talk to them about things in your lives. As for the adopted sister, love her the way you would have liked your parents loved you. If you do, she will grow up loving you most of all. Maybe your parents took her because they want you to have a sister too, so you won't be sad anymore.
Like you, I am also the only girl, second child in a brood of four. But unlike you I feel like I'm the star in my family. That's because my parents show me love (like they do to all my brothers) I deserve. I don't think it's fair to categorize people based on their position in the family. The other middle child (my younger brother) is a positive person and generally happy.
2007-03-24 21:20:56 · answer #3 · answered by Tammy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I believed you have such a feeling bcoz of the treatment yopu received from your family. There is no such thing as not good enough for anybody. Everybody in this world will have their strenth and weakness, it is a matter of time and people to find out their strength and weakness. You must have the confidenece in yourself, otherwise how are you going to face the world when you start to move into society
2007-03-24 20:43:16 · answer #4 · answered by Forgettable 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋