This is not always the case but more often then not. He blams it on me, saying that I hold her to much and "baby" her to much. I do not feel that I do that. He is rough and insensitive towards her. He says that he does not want her to be a baby when she grows up and that is why he is rough with her. He loves her and would never hurt her, but I want him to be able to hold her and have a good relationship together. How can I help this situation out?
2007-03-24 20:28:08 · 10 answers · asked by nicki 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
She always watches him when she can see him doing something and that makes him mad because he doesn't understand why she stares at him but wont let him hold her. How can he regain her trust since he can't always hold her?
2007-03-24 21:08:22 · update #1
That is so sad for your daughter. Daddy should be gentle with her and loving towards her. Treating her rough at this age isn't going to make her a rough and tumble toddler or teenager. She is uncomfortable with how she is being held and how she is being treated by daddy. Let him know that at this age she is ment to be a baby and when she starts walking and falling she is going to want someone to come to and kiss her owies not someone who pushes her away and tells her she is fine. Let her know that reguarless of what he does, she is going to grow up to be the girl she is going to be. My daughter loves high heels (princess shoes) at 2 and wearing dresses, there isn't a whole lot I am going to do to change this since it is who she is. I hope that he can see that she needs a loving daddy not a rough one who doesn't understand how she feels. He can teach her when she is 5 or 6 by doing rougher activites when she can say okay I have had enough. Right now she can't say that she doesn't like how she is handled.
2007-03-24 20:40:48 · answer #1 · answered by MOMMY585 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow, there's so many things that could be said on that subject but I would simply reply 2 him by saying "Oh so you want her 2 be the kid in school who pushes everyone else around and you will be the one getting the phone call everyday from the principle until she is kicked out 4 fighting other students" There's nothing wrong w/ holding your child. I do not believe in the child being a baby all of their life. Certainly his rough behavior towards her is more likely 2 worse than you "babying" her. She will grow out of the baby stage that may or may not be caused by you but once a child learns rough and tough behavior they may never change.
2007-03-25 03:42:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does not need to 'toughen up' now, she's too little! She IS just a baby! Holding her, letting her know she is loved, is what she needs. That doesn't mean you should be carrying her everywhere - she needs to start to develop some independence and muscle strength! But handling her roughly is not the answer.
Remember, though, one of men's strengths are that they are usually a lot more fun, often with a better sense of joy and playfulness and will play a bit rougher than we would or are capable of. They like to throw the kids up in the air, and tickle and roughhouse. This is also important for a child's development so they can understand the control of dad's strength (he's not using his full strength), and most importantly, trust. Trust that when Dad throws them up in the air, he will be there catch them.
2007-03-25 03:41:37 · answer #3 · answered by Deborah C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything to help because he has a different point of view of how to raise her than you do. A year old child is pretty young to be teaching a child to be "tough," in my opinion, even if she was a he. Just keep doing what you're doing...she needs the extra love and affection since it's only coming from you. And if the baby starts crying when he holds her, well then he should either change his behavior or stop holding her.
2007-03-25 03:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by Madre 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs some help with parenting. Could you find a parenting class and get him to go to it with you? Being rough with a child will just teach them to fear the person. There's plenty of time for her to toughen up when she's older. In fact, a self confident child is the most likely to be able to handle things when they're older. How do kids get self confidence? By being secure that they're loved and that they're "okay". He's giving her the opposite message. He may be a good guy, but he knows squat about kids. He need some help with that. Ask your pediatricians office if they know where to get parenting classes. Talk to your minister. Some churches have programs to encourage parenting. If nothing else, get him a book like The Father's Almanac.
2007-03-25 03:42:12 · answer #5 · answered by Annie D 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well my husband doesnt want our kids to grow up weak either but he isnt the way you describe your husband he plays with them like throwing them in the air play fights with them my girls love watching wrestling with him so they do the whole 1 2 3 count thing but he also lets them sit in his lap he reads to them he hugs them goodnight and everything sweet like that with our second child she went through a phase where she didnt want to be held by her daddy and she did the starnig thing too and what he did was just play with her while she was on the floor tried to read to her or while i was holding her just things he would do normally and slowly but surely she came back around he can talk to her and be nice without "babying" her babying a child is when you coddle them when they cry about getting into trouble or let them get away with anyting they want just so they wont cry i think he just has to be patient with her and let her know that daddy does love her maybe he can try playing with her favorite toy with her or something.....i hope this helps i am by no means an expert :-)
mother of 3 girls
Adrianna Lynn age 5
Alexandria Joy age 2
Angelina Mae age 1
2007-03-25 06:49:53 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe you can baby a baby to much. Babies need loads & loads of love & attention & perhaps you could point out to your husband that his attitude is the reason why she cries when he picks her up. It is his lack of 'babying' that is causing this problem.
2007-03-25 04:50:48 · answer #7 · answered by Mishell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say he loves her and would never hurt her ... well, he has already damaged her emotionally, and this will only get worse if he doesn't change his point of view and his actions. Only you will know if he can do it by himself, or if he needs professional help.
2007-03-25 07:22:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems odd that she would cry when her daddy picks her up.. Make sure that he is not hurting her in another way because these days dads are molesting they daughters like crazy..
2007-03-25 09:46:46 · answer #9 · answered by Vicky 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He must stink. Tell him to take a bath.
2007-03-25 04:32:15 · answer #10 · answered by mommymommy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋