We were married for 5 years at the time he was diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer.It wasn't terminal but we were told the journey to get him better was going to be a very lond one.When I found out I totally lost it and I know it was extremely wrong of me but I left him because I didn't think I could deal with the disease and how it'd affect my life.He didn't have any other family so I did feel very guilty but I didn't feel like I had a choice but to leave him.It's been 2 years and he's in remission.I want a second chance so badly.He treated me like a queen throughout the whole time we've been together and I still love him as much as ever.He won't even look me in the eye let alone consider getting back together.What do I do?
2007-03-24 20:26:46 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
What goes around comes around,, You left him in his darkest hour and now YOU want him back? I am surprised he doesn't spit in your face.
When I was first Diagnosed with Lymphoma, my BF of 2 months stood by me through all the treatments He was ther thru it all, and married me when the treatments ended, I have replapsed 2 times since and he has never left my side.
You are the worst example of a loving spouse I have ever seen.
2007-03-25 04:05:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
You didnt state whether you got married in a church or in the court either way I believe the say is for better or worse. You said that your husband treated you like a queen....however where were you when he needed you the most? You said you love him, but in reality you don't because you would have stayed by his side while he was going through this awful ordeal. you both should have supported each other instead you ran like a coward (sorry to say) I dont blame him if he doesn't take you back. I know if I was him I would not. Now that everything is okay with him now you want to be with him? I dont think so. Turn the situation around and ask yourself how would you feel if it was you with the cancer and he left you alone with no family? What would you do?? If he doesnt want to go back then leave him alone. He deserves that much from you for abandoning him when he needed you the most. Good men like that doesnt come easily these days...As before you mentioned that he treated you like a queen well your love was proven when you walked out on him. Talk about slap on the face. I am sorry if I am making you feel bad, but I do have a young cousin who is suffering from cancer and no one of his family turn their back on him. Sorry to say you are a disgrace.
2007-03-30 16:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by la negrita de Brooklyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG is all i can say.... i dont know what you are thinking .... i am in your place right now with my boyfriend and i could never walk out on him when he need's me the most never it's called LOVE you know .... the good, bad, sickness and health your there for it all not just the good.... if you really loved your husband you would not have left him to suffer this struggle alone..........and all i can think is OMFG why would you do that to your husband ....yes it's hard to see him go through all that pain and all the other S*** that comes with it but you know what you are his WIFE he needs you more then anything in this hole f***ing world ....your the one that is to be there for him when he needs anything no matter what it is ... its something that is very hard for someone to go through much less to have to go through it alone. YOU cant handle it... how about you look out his eyes and be in his place for one damn day and see how much pain you are in and how much you need your husband by your side more then anything ....well you know what im happy your husband knows the type of women you are now cause wow after being married 5 years you think you would walk through fire for your husband...
and now that he's in remission you want him back WHAT THE F*** EVER !!!! you so do not desreve him thats LOW of you to even ask you left him ALONE when he needed you the most and now that his health is better you want your happy life back well it dont work that way i hope to god he get someone better and loves him though it all good, bad, sickness .......AND NOT LIKE YOU JUST THE GOOD TIMES
2007-03-25 03:07:10 · answer #3 · answered by bonnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got some serious issues woman, man I would choose an enemy by my side over your at least you know where they stand. That's a real shame and you'd be bent about it if he had done it to you. Move on. You've already hurt him enough. I never understood why people do that to thier spouse/best friend/lover. The best thing you could do is be there when he needs/or wants you but dont push it. If he will come around it wont be in a hurry. Maybe you are still maturing. You know what, there's no excuse for what you did! Worse case scenario he took you back, got cancer again which can happen you know! and you bail out again. MOVE ON Already.
2007-03-24 20:36:54 · answer #4 · answered by vchild22 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Having had cancer myself, I wonder why I would want someone like you back after you left when I would have needed my wife the most. My wife was the one thing I had in my life that made me get through the 6 months of weekly chemotherapy sessions.
It's been almost 7 years, and I treasure her more than I can say. I've found out since that the anguish she was under and successfully hid from me, was what caused her breakdown. And I was there to get her through her ordeal.
Marriage is a commitment to put the other person's needs and wishes ahead of your own.
Better or Worse, Richer or Poorer, in sickness and in health, Until Death do you part.
2007-03-31 11:24:53 · answer #5 · answered by philcya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I won't be as mean as everyone else, but I'm sure you can understand their reactions!
I don't know you or your ex-, but I wouldn't put any of my money on him ever being willing to take you back. Any other woman he might meet MIGHT leave him if he gets sick, but you have a track record to prove that you will. People never change, really, and chances are VERY good you would do the same again in the same situation...
You should probably move on, and take what you have learned with you.
2007-04-01 14:31:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From your posts, it sounds like you are a very immature and self-centered person. How you could walk away from someone in crisis, when they needed you most, is beyond me. While I certainly believe in second chances, this may be a situation where the lack of loyalty and reliability can not be regained. I'd suggest that you have to show how sincerely you have changed, if you have, and see if he can regain trust. Still, I'd recommend you be prepared to move on as he may never trust or rely on you again. What YOU want is not always what is most important, in this case, definately not.
2007-03-26 08:08:18 · answer #7 · answered by TechNeo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband just lost his battle with cancer. I would NEVER have even thought about leaving him during his battle. It is a very hard time for someone to go through much less to have to go through it alone. It is not fair of you to want him back now. He is in remission, so was my husband, when it returns you will just leave again. It is the hardest thing in the world to lose a husband but he needed support. Leaving him at that difficult time only made it harder on him.When you get married there is the part that says "till death do us part".
2007-03-25 02:10:36 · answer #8 · answered by redwidow 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont think there is anything you can do but accept what hes willing to give you. If there is anything. When you love someone you love all of them. Good, bad, sickness and health. I think you make those vows when you commit to being married. At least your aware of your mistake but now you have to live with it and accept his decision regarding you as he had to accept your leaving him when he needed you the most. I guess you have to try and think what your feelings would be if the shoe was on the other foot. Would you forgive the love of your life for not staying and being there for you?
Good Luck!
2007-03-24 20:38:40 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the last 7 hours, you have asked this question in 6 different categories, and a question on physical child abuse in 4 different categories. I don't know whether you are asking these serious questions as they apply to your own life, or whether you are doing research, or just bored or looking for attention. If indeed these are issues relating to your own life, I suggest that you seek advice from a professional.
2007-03-24 21:59:04 · answer #10 · answered by Maeve N 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋