I'm a new parent myself. I'm a dad, not a mom, so this may not be what you're looking for. I wish I could be more helpful than I will.
But I can tell you that, I was molested as a child.
Though I was too young to remember, I can tell you this. If you're suspicious, then you need to investigate somehow. DO NOT DISCOUNT YOUR SUSPICIONS. I can tell you right now that I haven't had thought one about my wife molesting my child, I doubt that's normal.
If you think there may be something wrong, then there may be. Depending on how old she is, find a reason to start taking her to a counselor or psych doctor. Tell the dr. in confidence your suspicions and he'll be able to find out from the little girl without causing any damage to her psyche.
I really wish you the best of luck.
2007-03-24 20:31:22
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answer #1
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answered by Love Answers 2
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first off,how old is your daughter? her age totally changes the approach to how you should bring this up. E.G. a middle school girl will understand what sex is & what isn't okay & will have boundaries set up,but a first grader really won't yet.
I read the other answers,& they are pretty spot-on.Get hard evidence with a hidden camera,bring up that there isn't anything your little girl can't tell mommy.
BUT DO NOT WAIT.for the love of God,do not just sit there & WAIT for him to do something. If it's happened once,i'm sad to say,but it's likely to happen again. You can NOT jump down your ex-husband's throat on this mind you.This will only make him react negatively,if not violently.Reguardless of whether he's done anything or not,if cornered he'll get bitchy & defensive & try to shut you out.
There was another Answer above mine where it was stated that molesters are "the most manipulative & cunning people there are" it's true. been there,done that.
Again, your daughter's age determines alot in what your approach should be. little kid,big kid,middle school,high school; every group has a different grip on how the world works,& you need to work accordingly.
Please,be wary.be A-ware. Catch this early as you can.The very worst thing I find, is when a child grows up thinking that abuse of any kind is 'normal'.
2007-03-25 02:32:45
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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I wonder how old your daughter is. Take her for a long ride in the car or maybe a picnic. Just go anywhere quiet you two can be alone if she is old enough to realize what is going on (if anything is). Tell her sometime during this that there isn't anything in the world that she can't talk to you about, ever. Tell her if there is ever anything bothering her you want her to let you know no matter what or who else it concerns. And that you love her more than anyone and would take care of her at all costs.
I actually know a lady that had suspicions on several occasions but came right out and asked her daughter and her daughter would deny it. She did this because of threats and also didn't want to rock a boat. Her daughter was abused for YEARS! Now, he is in jail because of molesting another little girl. Child molesters are the most manipulative and cunning people there are. You do owe it to your daughter to find out. It's hard to believe mothers sometimes turn a deaf ear and don't won't to see what is happening. I know it's hard but its got to be looked into. You are wise to ask questions since you are somewhat suspicious. Normally, where there is smoke...there is fire.
2007-03-24 20:43:34
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answer #3
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answered by Im Listening 5
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OMG- you need to sit her down and talk about what goes on over there. If she's been threatened she will probably get really uncomfortable telling you. Get her a therapist or another third party she can trust.
My sister was molested for 10 years by our dad and it only came out when she had therapy(he told her he'd kill us all if she told) If her behavior changes drastically then you need to do something. Most victims will never willingly tell.
2007-03-25 05:07:46
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answer #4
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answered by heather 2
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this just happen to my 5 year old daughter my cousin who is 31 kept letting my girls sat on his lap and was hugging them all the time so i started staying up late at night and i cought him in the act of feeling on my girl while she was sleeping. ask u daughter has anyone being touches her where they shouldnt. or keep a hidden cam somewhere to where u can keep a eye on them both. my daughter would of never known if i didnt see it happen.. or if she is uncomplaining about her kitty cat hurting that would be a real sign. dont waste time this could be hurting her, and u. get help now.. the said if u dont get coulsering for the child that was mosleted or rape there most likeing to turn out to be one there self .. kids come first .
2007-03-25 03:44:13
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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First, look for physical signs: sexually transmitted diseases, rashes, cuts, injuries to the genitals, etc.. These are almost sure signs of molestation. Then, look for behavioral signs: acting out sexually, knowing more about sex than a child that age would know, acting overly "adult." Also, changes in personality- anger, sadness, fear can be signs of molestation, but these are far less reliable. Finally, nightmares, bed wetting, changes in behavior towards your ex-husband, changes in behavior at school and clinginess are unreliable, very iffy signs of molestation.
2007-03-24 20:32:03
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answer #6
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answered by felix_dovetail 3
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If you are suspicious enough, you might want to invest in a spy camera of some sort. They make them in many forms (alarm clock cams, smoke detector cams, etc.). They are relatively cheap these days, and every penny would be worth it to stop this if it is true. Best of luck. Here's a website to stat you out.
2007-03-24 20:32:07
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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You need to ask your daughter if anyone has touched her on her privates. If she indicates that he or anyone else has you need to take her to the Dr. and have her examined. You can also have a therapist talk to her and see if she says that he has touched her. Dont lead her into saying it is him let her tell if anyone has. You must have a reason to think this I assume? Do this quickly in case your intuitions are correct.
2007-03-24 20:32:05
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answer #8
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answered by mom of twins 6
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a psychiatrist would be the best place to start they can ask the child without planting ideas in the child's head.
2007-03-24 20:31:02
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answer #9
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answered by TLC4theworld 2
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Did your child say he did something? What makes you suspicious? Was in to young girls when you were married or something? Is there a family history of this?
Be careful you are treading on dangerous ground.
2007-03-25 01:43:15
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answer #10
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answered by jillmarie2000 5
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