How do i get married without making it legal?

Question

I want a ceremony but i dont want for it to be official yet because we are both in school and it would be a huge hassle in terms of loans and financial aid.

How do i get married without going to city hall and actually signing the papers saying i am married.

Can i get married in say Italy for example, but have it not transfer over to america?>

I suggest if you choose to answer the question, then answer the question and dont give me your unwanted opinion of wheater or not i should do it.

It has nothing to do with weather or not we want to be together. Waiting until i finish grad school is wayyy to long, i dont want to live together and not be married for an excessive period of time, so this i the next best thing.

Which countires does america not acknowledge a wedding from?

I live in the US--- we are 22/28 .

Hawaii is a US state.

I want to marry in Italy---if i get married there willa merica recognize it?

I dont want my kids to be born to an unwed couple, its not appropriate.

Answer 1

I totally feel where you are coming from. My fiancee went Pre-Pharmacy and we had been dating since Sophomore year of HIGH SCHOOL, which put us a t dating for 7 years before we even got our undergrad degrees!!! So waiting until you are done with school is a bit stupid sometimes, so congrats on making a decision!
Anyways, since you sound set on marrying in Italy (so romantic) if you are having a ceremony, then you just have to do eveything you would normally do for an italian wedding (planning, guest list, reception, ceremony location, etc.) and just tell the preist not to register it with Ufficiale di Stato Civile (Civil Registrar). When you do register it, it makes it legal in the United States. But, for when you are done with grad school, I think you may have to do a quick lil Justice of the Peace bit (or better yet, you can do a vow-renewal and have another reason to party while you make it legal in the states). I included a link to a website that may help a bit too. I think, instead of calling it a wedding (for US admin purposes) you should refer to it as a ceremony. Of course for your friends and family, call it a wedding, but if you call city hall, just say you want to have a religious ceremony in Italy and ask if it will have any legal boundings in the US. Hope this helps. Good Luck and learn to dance the Tarantella! Ciao!

Answer 2

What sr said honestly. You can have a ceremony here in the US even without actually signing away any legal liscence for it.

Also take a look if your state has any common laws. I remember reading over your additional information and can't recall if you will be living together at any point during this. Some states still have common law in practice where after so many years of living together they consider you married :X.

I don't know a lot about marriages outside of the U.S. for Americans but here's some information concerned with Italian marriages and the legal nonsense associated:

http://travel.state.gov/law/citizenship/citizenship_754.html
http://italy.usembassy.gov/acs/marriage/general-marriage.asp

You may want to check with the specific wedding site or officiate you wish to use in Italy. I imagine that you can still have a ceremony performed for you by the Roman Catholic Church without actually signing it away as legal and hence it will not transfer across the borders back into the United States.

Hope this helps!

Answer 3

I am unsure whether USA recognizes weddings in Italy, for out of country weddings you will have to go to the federal building nearest you and ask questions about which countries they DO acknowlege marriages from automatically.

As for having a wedding ceremony without making it legal ANYONE can do that, all you have to do is have a ceremony without the marriage license or ordained/licensed officiant. So you could have your friend/family stand in as your officiant if you wanted.

I have done ONE wedding that was very much like this as far as the legality of it went. The couple didnt legally marry at the time because the divorce papers had not come through as planned (couldnt track the ex down to get signatures in time to match the one year time frame between divorce and re-marriage) but they didnt want to lose their deposits with the vendors. After the papers came through they made it official with a small private justice of the peace ceremony on their one year anniversary.

Answer 4

You want to be married, but not legally married. ???

If you do not have a wedding certificate signed then you are not legally married. You can do a "pretend" ceremony, possibly hand fasting or getting married in church, but it won't be legally binding since the certificate would not be signed.

As for common law marriage, that would entail having you to live (in a common law marriage state) together for at least five years and filing taxes as though you were married. Hawaii does not recognize common law marriages anymore.

I would just have a long engagement and get married after.

If you don't want to have kids as an unwed couple, then get on a contraceptive.

Answer 5

What's the point? Save the Marriage for when your actually ready financially. Why the rush? There is nothing wrong with a long engagement. If you guys are ment to be together then you guys can wait until your out of school. Have an engagement party instead of a wedding for now. All marriage is, is just a piece of paper anyways. You can commit to each other in other ways then a marriage certificate.
You want to go to another country to have a wedding that is not recognized by the Us government?
You can have a ceremony anywhere anytime and not apply for a wedding certificate. You can even legally change your last name to his last name and still not be legally married.
If your not looking for our opinions then maybe you should look up the info yourself online.
are you going to be only having unwed sex in another country as well? becasue if you get fake married in another country and come back to the states and have sex you would be having sex out of wed lock in the eyes of the Us government. Get over it, it is not the 1950 anymore. People have sex and babies out of wed lock all the time. Wait until you graduate!

Answer 6

I do not understand why you feel a need to be married but do not want to be married. I can honestly say I've never even heard of such a thing.

However, I have to agree with the other answer that I'm not sure it's possible to be "kinda" married. Either you are married or you are not.

Whatever the reason for the necessity of this union "not being legal in the U.S." - grad school...not sure what else would hold you back...but grad school is not one reason that I can say should hold you back from making it real if in fact you truly love your soon to be "spouse." I went to school with plenty of people who got married -- even in undergrad, so I'm not sure I buy that one...sorry.

And whatever the reason you feel like you have to be married -- appears you may have a child on the way -- (congrats!). However, if you are not ready to be fully and legally married in the country in which you reside for ANY reason, then I say hold off for now. Your child will still love you if you are not married at the time of their birth!

Best of luck!

Answer 7

You can just get married here in the US. Have big reception, and have a religious or a non-demoniational cerimony. There are many people who perform cerimonies and don't require you to have any kind of marriage certificate at the time of the cerimony. If the priest or the official asks you for a license just tell them you will turn in the liscense the the city after the Honeymoon. People have these kind of cerimonies and weddings all the time. You are not considered married in the eyes of the law of this country if the liscense was never turned in. You can do your taxes as singles, you can file for finacial aid as a single person, etc.

Answer 8

OK, you cannot be legally married without being legally married., unless you have common law in your state and not all do, but that would also be legally married As for your children not being born to unwed parents, you would have to be legally married to be married.
You may find some type of religious commitment ceremony you can do, but I think these days most churches will not marry you without you also being legally bound.
You will not have the legal protections that are given to married couples, things like being each other's legal next of kin, etc.
This is in the US and speaking of mainstream churches of course.
Your best sources to find your answer would be to google phrases like marriage practices in [wherever you live].

Good luck, HTH

Answer 9

you're already dedicated to one yet another, why do you like a ceremony. you need to make it respected yet you do no longer want it criminal??? Why concern... in case you have chosen to be at the same time then make a p.c.. between one yet another and bypass to the sea coast on a hill and substitute words. in case you desire to deliver alongside some acquaintances then do it. it variety of feels farcical to me that the ceremony seems so important to you. ceremony is in simple terms entering into the time of the motions. perchance in case you think approximately that actuality you're chuffed and desire to be at the same time , that must be sufficient. Why do you think of marriage would smash the courting? Are you going to give up loving yet another? Are you going to give up being a sturdy companion? i think of you have a preconceived theory that when the ceremony of marriage legally, they bypass bitter. you won't have the capacity to pigeon-hollow all marriages and doom them to fail, that's no longer trustworthy. all and sundry must be regarded at in my view and realistically. Marriages fail, by way of fact people give up attempting, it isn't the piece of paper. in case you 2 are truly chuffed and desire to be at the same time for something of your existence, have the actual ceremony and don't give up being on a honeymoon.

Answer 10

Okay, I am not a lawyer. But my understanding of this generally is:

You can't

I believe by the laws of most (if not all) states you cannot be "somewhat married."

It's like being "A little bit pregnant."

As far as I am aware, the ceremony is the marriage itself. anyone who is empowered by the state you live in, a captain at sea, certain people like governors, etc, can marry you. If the ceremony is performed you are married, in the eyes of the law.

The definition of marriage is set up so that the legal status of both parties is amended to reflect married, since it affects as you say finances, laws etc. etc.

Just get married when you are ready.