Man engaged to other woman?

Question

The man I have been in love with for the last five years has recently told me he loves me like crazy and then the next week tells me he is marrying someone else. You see while we were in a relationship he got another woman pregnant. He says he needs to marry this woman because of this kid who is now almost 3. He says he needs to do what is right for his son. What do I do? Do I try and break up this marriage that is happening in two months or walk away from this mess? I feel at a loss. I told him he made his decision and chose her because he obviously doesn't love me. He says its not true but that he is stuck in this situation and has no other choice. I feel like I am losing my best friend. We have continued having a sexual relationship while he lives with his baby's mama. She knows that we have a relationship and thinks it is long over but it never stopped. We have this connection and it cannot be broken. I am devasted by this recent news. I want him to leave her and be with me.

By the way he says he doesn't love her but does care for her.

Answer 1

Your best friend would not cheat on you, would not lie to you, would not want to keep you dangling on a string. If this man that you love has been busy creating children with someone else while you were having a relationship then he probably loves sex with other partners more than he loves you. He is with another woman who is the mother of his child. You need to ask yourself if you were the other woman with a child would you want the child's father having an affair with someone else? The nicest thing you could do for yourself would be to tell him that he is doing the right thing by being there for his son and that you feel that he needs to devote all of his time to being a good parent and a decent partner for this other lady. If you do that then you will be a winner because you will put the welfare of others before your wants. You also won't be a part of a relationship that won't get you anything more than being used for sex. Although you may love him there is someone out there that would love to be with you and only you. Someone that would love to hold you and plan a future with you. Ask yourself if you would rather hold onto a no win relationship or go for the gold. He sure doesn't deserve you, so look in the mirror and tell yourself you are worth so much more then move onto better things. Like yourself enough to do that.

Answer 2

He's playing you for a fool. Are you telling me that he is such an honorable gent that he will reluctantly marry a woman he doesn't love all for the sake of his unborn son YET he chooses to secretly have sex with two women at the same time.
Don't you see the incongruence here?
He's a liar and a cheat.
Don't allow your tears to cloud your judgement. Get rid of him, the sooner the better.
Or else he'll be married with kids and you'll be the baby mama on the side.

Answer 3

I think the first thing to do is go see a counselor. You have some real self esteem issues that need to be addressed. Your putting up with a guy that is sleeping with another woman an getting her pregnant while he is seeing you. This not the description of a healthy relationship.
Just remember, if he loved you he would be with you and not sleeping with someone else. He is using you as a sex toy.
Don't let him get away with that stuff, dump his butt and find yourself a real man.

Answer 4

It is the classic male line, full of crap and without any true sincerity. He is using you. Simply if a man has another woman he is off limits. Take what little pride you may have left and go find someone who is not wanting his cake and to eat it too. If you had matter he wouldn't have got another woman pregnant. I am so sorry if this sounds hateful but the simple truth is he is a PIG.

Answer 5

Your involved in a huge mess. What do you hope to gain?? And why would you want this bum?? He cheats, and obviously is doing what he wants....and no, he didn't chose you. He now feels the need to marry the mother of his child that is THREE?? And your buying that?? He is getting married and has a child.....walk away. He doesn't belong to you and won't. Why would you settle for someone else's sloppy seconds???

Answer 6

The problem is him. He is marrying baby moma because he thinks it's the responsible thing to do even though he loves u and not her. The most important person he is not being responsible to is himself. He can spend time with the kid and send child support and make a life w/ you. It sounds like he is making a big mistake.

Answer 7

He's playing you both. He got this girl pregnant while with you, he's living with this other girl. He's planning on marrying her, but you still want him? You are the other woman, I'm sorry to tell you. You deserve so much better than this.

Answer 8

I take it that you guys are much older than the adolescent BS he running down on you. This teenager wanna be playa act, is just that ........... "play a act". Have you noticed that almost every time you use the words "I" or "me" you were asking a question, but every time you used "he" you made a statement? Find yourself!

As far as giving you some advise about your relationship ...... well ......... You never had one.

Answer 9

all you have to do is move on. you dont deserve that kind of treatment. he chose already the other girl, wheter he told you he doesnt love the other girl, will you think that will make sense? you deserve someone much better that will reciprocate your love. i know that will be very hard on your part but you really have to move on and find the best way for you. good luck!

Answer 10

sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it to. being together for the kid thing sounds fishy cuz that the worst thing they could do if they are not in love. My advise is to walk away, i know its hard but with the kid in the picture, she will always be in the picture. If he is lying to her then he is probably lying to you to. You deseve better!